[MADtv] Alex Borstein

[newt007]

i was able to get somethin' from the trailer...

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

from what I hear she shows up throughout the movie.

[TheGooseGoblin]

Well on her site she says that the just shot 2 more scenes with her in it. so she might be in the movie for a lot of differnt parts.

[Dartanian]

Alex is going to appear in Will Ferrel's new movie "Kicking and Screaming".

Here's the plot outline:

Family man Phil Weston, a lifelong victim of his father's competitive nature, takes on the coaching duties of a kids' soccer team, and soon finds that he's also taking on his father's dysfunctional way of relating...

David Herman also will appear in this movie, as a referee.

As much as I love Alex, I'm not going to go see a Will Ferrell movie.

[Dartanian]

Alex Bio from Gilmoregirls.org

Alex Borstein as Drella ...

About the character: Drella is the straight to the point, no nonsense harp player at the Independence Inn. She is never afraid to add her two cents to any situation.

About the actress: Alexandrea Borstein comes from Chicago but moved to Los Angeles in 1980 with her family. She went on to graduate from San Francisco State University.

Alex was a member of the Los Angeles-based ACME Comedy Theatre before hitting the big time. While working on her stand-up comedy career, she was spotted performing in the Big Stinkin' International Improv and Sketch Festival in Austin, Texas by a MADtv casting agent. Since then she has been a regular on MADtv performing as very the popular Ms. Swan as well and many other noteable characters.

After being cast on MADtv, Alex has gone on to do many other things. She has written scripts for Casper, Histeria, and Pinky and the Brain and is also the voice of Lois Griffin on Family Guy. Not to mention that she plays Drella on Gilmore Girls.

Alex has two brothers, and is married to Jackson Douglas.

---------------------------------

West July 07, 2004

Improvised Madness

By Lori Talley

Photo By: Blake Gardner
Alex Borstein knew early on she had the makeup to be a performer. As she puts it, she was an obnoxious, loud kid who always enjoyed performing for her family. Still, a career in acting seemed unlikely. "I'm from a middle-class Jewish family; I never thought it was really an option. It was like, 'You're going to be a lawyer, you're going to be a doctor, or you're going to do something like that,'" she says. Even in the face of her family's stance, Borstein couldn't deny her attraction to the comedic spotlight.

Tellingly, when she enrolled at San Francisco State University as a rhetoric major, with the intent of going into law, she occasionally participated in sketch and improv plays and dabbled in standup. This eventually led to forming a sketch group called The Virus, which, she jokes, "was probably not the best of names for a troupe in San Francisco." Subsequently, the name of the troupe was changed to "25% Off" and made its way performing at the university's dormitories.

After graduating and moving to Los Angeles, Borstein was working in advertising when her brother reacquainted her with improv and sketch. Per his suggestion, the two signed up for classes at ACME Theatre, where she met Erin Ehrlich, who later became her writing partner. Universal Studios called ACME to see if it had any good writers, and Borstein and Ehrlich just happened to be there. Their first writing gig was Casper, a cartoon series for Fox Television, which led to more collaborative jobs as animation writers.

While still working with ACME, Borstein and five other members of the troupe performed at the Big Stinkin' Improv Festival in Austin, Texas, where casting recruiters for MADtv were attending. The troupe was invited to audition back in L.A. Borstein was hired for the show's third season. She owes much of her success to the Fox sketch comedy show, on which she is best known for her hilarious sendups of well-known personalities and for the many eclectic characters she created, including the lovable if unintelligible Ms. Swan.

After a five-year stint on the series, Borstein left to pursue other endeavors. She's since appeared in such movies as Showtime, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, and Bad Santa. Notable TV guest appearances include Frasier, Friends, and Gilmore Girls.

Borstein is currently working as a writer and voice actor for the Fox series The Family Guy, which returns this fall. In addition to her television work and completing her role as Halle Berry's best friend in the upcoming Catwoman, this very funny actor will debut her one-woman comedy show, Drop Dead Gorgeous in a Down to Earth Bombshell Sort of Way, next month. Borstein recently sat down with Back Stage West to discuss the creation of Ms. Swan, why she left the show, and being a control freak.

Back Stage West: Did you have any trouble telling your family that performing was how you wanted to make your living?

Alex Borstein: You mean, how was it to have to come out as a performer? You know, it's very interesting because, in a way, my parents were always really supportive of me being funny and performing. They really loved to come and see me in all these plays and stuff, but I think they just wanted to make sure I would be able to take care of myself. I majored in rhetoric in school, thinking I'd go into law, and ended up going into advertising. While I was working in advertising, my brother Adam said, "Hey, let's go take an improv class together at ACME Comedy Theatre here in Los Angeles on La Brea." We did. I ended up loving it, auditioned for the troupe, got in, and started doing improv and sketch with them for a year and a half. Then I got five of us together to go to a comedy festival in Austin, where we all got auditions for MADtv. It's hilarious because the people who cast the show are about a mile and a half from the ACME Theatre, and we had to go to ****ing Texas to get an audition.

BSW: Is it safe to assume as a sketch/improv artist that it was an aspiration of yours to score an audition for a sketch comedy series?

Borstein: To be completely honest, I never heard of or watched MADtv at that point. I mean, SNL--every person in comedy grew up watching it, except, I guess, kids born in the 1980s. That's when the show kind of took a dip. No offense to Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but the show took a dip. You know, everyone kind of looks up to Gilda Radner, Chevy Chase, and John Belushi. That didn't even seem possible. I never thought that could possibly happen, never thought about going to New York, or auditioning or how you would even go about doing that. Then the MADtv thing happened.

I was working as a writer in advertising when I started taking those classes at ACME. I met Erin, and we got jobs writing for animated TV like Casper, we did Pinky and the Brain and Histeria, all these animated shows for Warner Bros. That's when I started realizing, "Maybe advertising isn't exactly the right place for me." I knew it was in writing and in comedy. That's when I took the leap.

BSW: You're widely recognized for your MADtv hit character, Ms. Swan. How much of the show is characters that you bring and how much is the work of other writers?

Borstein: MADtv is really interesting because, when I got on, the performers were not given the actual ability to write for the show yet. So what you would have to do--and so many of the people come from The Groundlings and ACME and places where they have written pieces that are tried and true, and you know they are funny and you want to use them--a lot of times you'd go in and sit down with one of the writers and dictate the whole sketch to them. They'd make some changes for TV obviously and, a lot of times, perfect them. Ms. Swan is based on my grandmother. In the ACME sketch she originally appeared in she looked extremely different, and it was called "The Other Gabor" because my grandmother's name is Vera Gabor. When we brought it to MADtv we really were changing it for TV. We wanted her to look immediately funny. Basically she's Latka. It's a total Andy Kaufman rip-off based on this immigrant grandmother that I have and so many people have.

BSW: Without assuming the obvious, what were your reasons for leaving the show?

Borstein: I'm just an asshole like David Caruso. I think I am going to have a huge movie career, like Jade. I know, the joke's on me. No, I had a five-year contract, and you either sign up for a lot more or you move on. The best way to equate it is to high school. You are going to miss it so much, and you have made some of the best friends ever and learned so much, but you are so excited to go on to college. It would be like staying back another year in high school.

BSW: Does the added exposure in syndication help you professionally at all?

Borstein: It does. Sketch is always tricky, because anything you try to do after sketch, everyone says, "She's too sketchy." They are so afraid that you are going to be so broad and too big. I guess a lot of times that's the case, so people can't make the change, but you just have to prove yourself and do little things, which I've been doing--just taking smaller parts in movies and building up.

I love writing. It's a tossup, really, between performing and writing, because the control you feel as a writer is so much greater--even though it's a completely false sense of control, because [your work] gets rewritten, and you get notes from the network, and you get notes from the studio, but while you are in front of your computer, it's just you, and you're making all of the comedic decisions.

BSW: Is that part of the reason you wanted to do a one-woman show?

Borstein: That's right, because I am an anal, control freak. What's so great about the show is just that. It's this portable means of communicating with a large group of people. It's kind of a standup show. I mean, you see Ellen DeGeneres or Chris Rock doing their specials, and it's akin to that, but there is kind of a point. There is an issue that I'm dealing with, which is female role models and a huge absence of them. The show has a point, but it's not like a boring feminist studies concert. We are going to be shooting it. I realize I can't get out to every city that I want to get to. So we thought, "Hey, let's shoot it." I would love to do a theatrical release with it. Margaret Cho has kind of paved the way with that. We are going to shoot it at the Alex Theatre in Glendale, which is fun. "Alex at the Alex"--my advertising background clued me in that would be helpful with marketing. BSW



http://www.backstage.com/backstage/f..._id=1000565486

[Dartanian]

Alumna Alex Borstein purr-forms on the big screen
July 22, 2004

Alex Borstein once performed for dormitory students in Mary Ward Hall. This Friday, the SFSU alumna hits the big screen in "Catwoman" as a supporting actress to the movie's feline superhero, Halle Berry.

Borstein plays Sally Meyers, the best friend of Catwoman's alter ego, Patience Philips. "I'm the Jimmie Olsen to her Superman -- I don't know she's Catwoman," Borstein said from Los Angeles during a phone interview, just a few days before the premiere. "Although if we're best friends, you'd think that's something I would know."

A former cast member on the sketch comedy show "MADtv," Borstein is famous for her oddball characters, especially the unintelligible, yet endearing Ms. Swan, a woman from a fictional land near the North Pole ("He look like-a-man."), and The Gap troll, a creature who demanded shoppers solve riddles before entering the store.

Her work on "Catwoman" was a welcomed change, she said. "This is the first time I'm playing a normal, sexual, curvy woman in cute outfits--not some weird creature or an alien."

The normal, sexual, curvy woman role is one she'd like to see more of in Hollywood. "I'm five feet tall and about five feet wide," she joked. "I think I can be a role model to young females by just staying in the [entertainment] business. … It's okay to be different, and you can't be as different as me and Halle Berry."

This summer Borstein is hammering that message home in her one-woman comedy show, "Alex Borstein: Drop Dead Gorgeous in a Down-To-Earth Bombshell Sort of Way." In the act, which combines stand-up, storytelling and singing, she explores her search for more realistic, female role models in movies and TV.

After taking the show to several venues last year, Borstein will re-open it on August 14 in Los Angeles, appropriately enough at The Alex Theatre. Fans will be happy to learn that Ms. Swan, a character based on Borstein's grandmother, is also scheduled to make an appearance. The performance will be filmed for a possible release in movie theaters this fall.

Bornstein graduated from SFSU in 1992 with a degree in speech and communications and originally planned on a career in law or politics. A knock on her door in Mary Ward Hall led her to sketch comedy.

Recruited into a student comedy troupe first called "The Virus" and later, "25% Off," Borstein and her fellow actors put on free shows at the dorms where they packed in the crowds.

The young comedienne was also packing quite a few classes into her schedule. Borstein graduated in a little more than three years and headed to Los Angeles where she joined the Acme Comedy Theatre. After a performance at a comedy festival in Texas, an agent for MADtv invited her to audition for the show.

She joined the cast and stayed on for five seasons, leaving in 1997 to work on the off-beat animated television series, "Family Guy." When SF State News caught up with Borstein, she had just finished a recording session for the show's new season on FOX next spring. Although it's been more than two years since the last original episode aired, DVD sales and strong ratings for "Family Guy" reruns have brought the show back into production. Borstein is once again co-producer and the voice of Lois Griffin, mother to Stewie, the baby intent on world domination.

Fans of the WB's "Gilmore Girls" will also recognize the alumna for her recurring role as Drella, the bitter harpist.

As for "Catwoman," Borstein is looking forward to the premiere, but not the movie's trading cards. "My picture is scary," she says. "I look like a drunk Joyce Dewitt from ‘Three's Company.'"



http://www.sfsu.edu/~news/2004/summer/107.htm

[PitaPockets]

The normal, sexual, curvy woman role is one she'd like to see more of in Hollywood. "I'm five feet tall and about five feet wide," she joked. "I think I can be a role model to young females by just staying in the [entertainment] business. … It's okay to be different, and you can't be as different as me and Halle Berry."

I think she is a role model. She is for me. I'm short and heavy, and I always think, "Maybe I can be just like Alex someday!" She's not the stereotypical Holywood actress and people love her...thats awesome.

EDIT: I forgot to add a sentance...derrr

[funny_guy]

Originally posted at madtvcentral.com

Jackson Douglas is, of course, Alex Borstein's husband. And if you're asking who Alex Borstein is then you probably have never watched MADtv...

1. Were you a fan of Alex and/or MADtv before you met Alex?

Alex and I met years ago before MadTV at a ACME comedy theatre. We were both performing regularly there. So, I guess you could say we were before MadTV, and of course now I'm a fan and she is the best thing on it! I may be slightly biased though.


2. How and when did you meet Alex?

I think I just answered that question.


3. According to the Internet Movie Database (IMDB.com) you proposed to Alex during the filming of a MADtv sketch. Which sketch was it?

It was a Mexican wrestling sketch. The real sketch aired but the proposal version never did. But we have it on tape.


4. Do Alex and you watch MADtv on Saturdays?

Sure we do. If we are home.


5. How tall are you?

Wow, you are really going for the hard hitting questions. I usually don't reveal my height, but I guess it okay just this once. I'm six feet tall.


6. Do you and Alex ever get bothered by fans or the media?

Bothered? No. Surprised? Yes. It's nice to be reminded of all he fans who watch and enjoy the show.


7. Alex was scheduled to appear on Politically Incorrect last Friday, but she wasn't there. What happened?

Boy, that was a bummer wasn't it? Something came up. It might have been a movie... but I'm not telling.


8. What question would you like to be asked and what would be your response to that question?

What is your favorite shoe size? 13 but it is a bitch to find good shoes in that size.


9. Tell us more about this picture. (**Pic offline**)

A picture is worth a thousand words. That's too much typing.


10. And, finally, will Alex return to MADtv next season?

I know you'll hate this answer... Tune in and find out.
Same Mad time... same Mad channel.

[cartman2002]

I spotted Alex on the TV Guide Channel Today on a segement called TV Talk. Alex is talking TV along with Andy Dick.

With Andy's unpecitableness always a factor in his brand of comedy. It is safe to say some of you guys maybe want to turn to TV Guide channel while channel-surfing to see if TV Talk is on. It's a safe they will air that interviews for the next two weeks.

But that's just my guess to begin with

[cartman2002]

Yes Eric, I notice that too about a few weeks ago with Will but it was actress from Nip/Tuck not some other dude.

[MysterE]

pics of Alex at
Catwoman - Los Angeles Premiere
Date: 19 July 2004

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0097504/p...lery-granitz-0

[MysterE]

back-stage-pass.com interview May 26, 2003

Hey Alex, how are you doing?

I am doing great! I am very busy these days, but it’s all fun stuff so I love it!

What was your favorite part of working on The Lizzie McGuire Movie?

My favorite part about making “Lizzie” was getting to go to Rome, Italy for a whole month! It was a once in a lifetime experience. The people, the city and the FOOD! Yum. I also got so lucky to get to work with such a great group of people. The director was a great guy and a lot of fun. The cast was so professional and talented and the crew was awesome.

Who was your favorite person to work with on it?

I loved working with Jim Fall the director. We had a very similar sense of humor so it made shooting a lot of fun. I also had a great time with Adam (Gordo) he was very cool and easygoing.

What was it like working with Hilary Duff?

Working with Hilary… She was great to work with. Always very professional and as you already know, very talented. Sometimes it was tough because she was under so many time constraints. When someone who is under 18 years of age works on a movie he/she can only work so many hours in a day. So, many times we had to work at the speed of light to make sure we finished all of Hilary’s (or any other minor’s) scenes on time! It was hard, but well worth it, don’t you think?

Tell us about some other things you've worked on in the past!

As you know, I was a series regular on MADTV for five years, I also wrote and did voices (Lois) for FAMILY GUY which is now available on DVD! I have been in a few movies and am now developing my own TV show for next Fall. I love performing, but I also love to write so I am doing a lot of writing these days. BOX OFFICE GROSS is a screenplay that I wrote with a few other people including Will Sasso, another MADTV alumni. We are hoping to begin production on this movie very soon. Will and I are set to star in the film as well. I am also working on a novel right now that it proving to be quite challenging! Let’s see, what else… oh, I am also touring with my one-woman-show called, ALEX BORSTEIN: DROP DEAD GORGEOUS IN A DOWNTO EARTH BOMBSHEL SORT OF WAY. The next show dates are August 29 & 30, 2003 in San Francisco, CA. For more info go to www.alexborstein.com

How'd you like Rome?

What was it like in Italy, you ask? Amazing. Breathtaking. Fun. Rome is one of those magical places that you read about. It’s a city that has everything. On the one hand it is very modern in it’s design and fashion and business, but on the other hand it is filled with so much history. You can walk out of a techno-hip modern disco and be standing right in front of ancient ruins. Rome is both yesterday and tomorrow all rolled into one. And the food… mama mia! Pasta, pizza, wine and let’s not forget the gelato (Italian ice cream). I will never forget the gelato. I dream about it!

What about working in Vancouver?

I also loved Vancouver, but for very different reasons. Vancouver is beautiful but in a more out doorsy kind of way. I bought a bike while I was there and they have this great bike path that bends all the way around the city on the water’s edge. It is stunning. There is very little traffic (unlike Rome!) and the people are so friendly. I love Canadians! I also loved how delicious and fresh the sushi was in Vancouver. Mostly what I did during my time off was eat sushi, ride my bike and go to karaoke nights with some of the “Lizzie” crew.

Are you as aggressive as your character? Or are you anything like her?

Am I aggressive? Hmm… I would say that I am pretty aggressive, but not as obnoxious as Miss Ungermeyer. I think you have to be aggressive to get anywhere in life, especially in this business. The trick is still being pleasant, fun to be with and keeping a sense of humor about it all.

How'd you like the name? Haha.

The name Ungermeyer was always a treat to be called while we were in Rome because most of the Italian crew was not able to pronounce it correctly, so most of the time I was “underwire” or “underwear.” Nice, huh?

Is Clayton really as goofy as his character, Ethan Craft?

Clayton (Ethan) is nothing like his character. He is very bright, very down-to-Earth and an all around cool kid.

If they were to do a sequal to the movie, would you do it?

I would do a sequel if the script was funny and we got to go somewhere cool again!

How'd you like working on MADTV?

Working on MADTV was pretty great. The amount of talent that I got to work with while I was there is immeasurable. I met one of my favorite people while I was there, Will Sasso. We continue to work together and probably always will. I got the opportunity to do some wild characters at MAD that will stay with me until the day I die. I also got to write a lot of my own material and I loved that. It was definitely a grind, though. It’s a lot of work and a lot of friendly competition, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

How do you like doing comedy live?

I don’t really do stand-up comedy very regularly. I am doing my live one-woman-show and I do love it, but it’s hard to say that I love something more than something else. It would be like asking a mother to pick one child over another. You love them all. I can say that live TV and live performance is much more stimulating for me. I love the audience interaction and response. It’s a rush!

How did you like working on Gilmore Girls?

I love working on Gilmore girls! I was originally cast as Suki, the chef and Lorelai’s best friend, but because I was still under contract with MACTV I wasn’t allowed to do the series. RATS! Oh, well, you can’t have it all, can you? The creator of GG was so kind, she wrote a new part for me, “Drella,” who was the bitter harpist at the Independence Inn where Lorelai and Suki work. I loved being Drella. She was always ready with a snappy comeback. Most recently I returned to Gilmore girls playing a new character named, “Celine.” Celine is a 90-something-year-old woman who is a stylist/costume designer to the stars of the yesterday and Emily Gilmore. It was a wonderful challenge to play such a different character. I also like to be around the Gilmore girls set because my husband is an actor on the show. His name is Jackson and he plays, “Jackson” on the show. That’s easy to remember, right?

What's your advice to aspiring people trying to break into the business?

The only advice I would give to anyone starting out in this business is to keep on trying. Make your own opportunities. Write your own material, do open mic nights if you want to do stand-up, audition for plays, read scripts, go to festivals, be active in the industry you want to be a part of. No one will seek you out to discover you. You have to get out there in front of everyone so they are forced to discover you. Discover yourself.

Do you like any of the kid-based comedy shows?

I do enjoy “All That” and “The Amanda Show”. I will admit that I don’t watch them all that often, but what I have seen I have a great respect for.

Any last words?

Last words… Be yourself.

http://www.back-stage-pass.com/AlexBorstein1.html

[minimo]

i luv alex. she is mah seconda fave, after Mo of course. something is really weird though...she looks just like my old Science teacher, I mean almost identical, she is short too. as i read some of these bio.s there are alot of similarities between the 2. hmm..... i know its not her but its fun to think so.

[tarzapam]

WOAH CLEAVAGE
those catwoman premire shots..WATCH OUT

does anyone have pics of alex actually IN the movie???

[newt007]

I'm not sure if this has been posted...

In the Counterpunch article that appeared Oct. 23 ("Asian Americans Living in a 'Bamboozled' World," by Guy Aoki), I was accused of wearing "yellowface" in my portrayal of the character Ms. Swan on "Mad TV"--and, by inference, of being a racist for doing so. After reading it, I couldn't get to my laptop fast enough.


For starters, I would like to let it be known that the author of the article has never contacted me or, so far as I know, made any attempts to do so. He has never asked me a single question as to the origin of this character. So, in an effort to correct his misconceptions, let me ask and answer them myself.


Who is Ms. Swan based on? How was Ms. Swan created?
Ms. Swan is based on my grandmother, a spunky 85-year-old immigrant who toys with her ability to speak and understand English as it suits her. She's been in this country for almost 50 years and we still can't understand a word she says! (Unless, of course, she needs a favor--then she's as clear as a bell.)


What nationality is Ms. Swan?
In the tradition of another fictional comedic character--Latka of the long-running series "Taxi"--Ms. Swan is meant to be an amalgamation of many nationalities, representing immigrants as a whole. She is from a fictional country called Kuvaria, where, incidentally, Santa Claus is also from. (Or so Ms. Swan claims.)


What nationality am I?
I have Hungarian/Mongolian, Russian and Polish roots. Last time I checked that still made me an American. And last time I checked, Americans still had the luxury of freedom of speech and expression. Ms. Swan is one of the many vehicles for my expression. By the way, on a show like "Mad TV," everybody is parodied and satirized, from political figures to celebrities to athletes to immigrants. No one is excluded. If you don't care for our brand of comedy, watch the news. That's always funny!


What does the Ms. Swan costume consist of? Do I wear "yellowface"?
To become Ms. Swan, I don a housecoat one can purchase at Sav-On for $19.99. (My grandmother wears the very same housecoat around her Santa Monica apartment.) I wear knee-high pantyhose and black leather slippers from Italy. As the character is a manicurist by profession, I wear a checkered apron with little feet on it. I wear a black wig, peppered with gray strands, that is cut in the style of a chin-length bob. (This wig actually resembles my own hairstyle quite a bit.) The makeup that is used is a regular base from Cinema Secrets. It is the exact color of my natural skin tone. I have never, never used yellow makeup or even yellow tones. The "yellowface" that Aoki speaks of is a figment of his imagination. Ms. Swan's facial appearance (the shape of her eyes and lips) was actually based on Bjork, a singer-songwriter from Iceland. I even toyed with the idea of making Ms. Swan Icelandic through and through. In the end, I opted for the freedom that creating her homeland would give me.


It's too bad that anyone who read Aoki's article couldn't see Ms. Swan for themselves, as The Times erroneously published someone else's picture with my name in the caption. Here's a tip: If you are going to slam someone based on her appearance, at least get the right picture, people! To tell you the truth, I can only giggle at Aoki's own self-image. If he believes my nutty little character on a late-night sketch comedy show is a depiction of him and his "people," then, as Ms. Swan would say, "He needs to take a chill pill!"


The only real place that Ms. Swan comes from is my imagination. I created her. If Aoki doesn't care for my creation, that's his prerogative and I urge him to change the channel. As for the rest of you out there, don't believe everything you read. Check Ms. Swan out for yourselves. Tune in to "Mad TV" Saturday nights at 11 on Fox.


http://web.archive.org/web/200107011...m/article.html

[tarzapam]

yeah i think that was posted AGES ago...

[ef_7]

Originally posted by Mark Mitchell
I ordered a Papa John's Pizza one day and the show came on as I was eating. It was a show about " THE VOMITORIUM ". OMG, I like to damn near died.

So I called up the local WB channel ( Channel 55 ) and proceeded to give a piece of my mind.

Them: ( Call letters of station )
Me: Do you ****ing mind? Im trying to eat a pizza!!!
Them: What's the problem, sir.
Me: You're showing a cartoon about THROWING THE **** UP!!! Im trying to eat, damn it!!!!
Them: ( raised voice ) Then change the channel!
Me: You ****ing idiot!!! ( Slams down phone...)

Now I have a question. How come every time I eat, there's something on tv about menstral cramps, hemrhoids or laxative???

I'm on their side... Why didn't you just change the channel?

[Dartanian]

I'm just trying to figure out what this has to do with Alex Borstein.