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Old 12/16/2005, 2:59 AM
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Default Wheel of Fortune: Pat's Obsession (#1105)

Pat Sajak- Ike Barinholtz
Lexie Vuncannon- Pamela Anderson
Aubrey Simmel- Jordan Peele
Faye Schnant- Nicole Parker
Announcer- Frank Caliendo

Crowd: Wheel of Fortune!

Announcer: (Voice only) Ladies and gentlemen Pat Sajak and Vanna White.

Pat Sajak: Thank you. Iíve been doing this show for sixty years and I stopped caring fifty-eight years ago. Letís meet our contestants.

Pat Sajak: (Sees Lexie) Wow, wow. Whatís your name sweetheart?

Faye Schnant: Ah well I am Faye SchnantÖ

Pat Sajak: (Interrupts) I, I, I was actually talking to the pretty one, but go ahead.

Faye Schnant: Ok well I am a homemakerÖ

Pat Sajak: (Interrupts) Great, great and who are you? (Looks at Lexie).

Aubrey Simmel: Hi my name is Aubrey SimmelÖ

Pat Sajak: (Interrupts) Once again, once again, once again, I, I am talking to pretty but go, yeah finish.

Aubrey Simmel: Ok I am a high school teacherÖ

Pat Sajak: (Interrupts) Got it! Ok. Who do we have here?

Lexie Vuncannon: Ah well my name is Lexie Vuncannon.

Pat Sajak: (Bursts out laughing) You. Your very funny, your very funny.

Lexie Vuncannon: Thank you.

Pat Sajak: Your welcome.

Lexie Vuncannon: Iím originally from Miami. Oh can I say hi to some of my friends?

Pat Sajak: Yes.

Lexie Vuncannon: Ok, um hi Leaita, hi Ciera, hi Terri, hi Vzelda, hi Ciena, hey Gavorga. Whoo! (Blows a kiss to the camera).

Aubrey Simmel: Actually Pat if I could say hello toÖ

Pat Sajak: No! Ok letís get the game started. Letís give it a spin Lexie.

Faye Schnant: Ooh whoops Pat I think I won the toss backstage.

Pat Sajak: Oh (starts laughing then stops). Are you Pat Sajak? Oh, oh, oh Iím Pat Sajak ok I forgot Iím Pat Sajak so youíll be quiet and Lexie will spin. Weíre looking for a famous person Lexie so give it a good spin.

Lexie Vuncannon: Alright.

Pat Sajak: There you go. Oh thatís a good spin, that is a good spin, that is nice.

(Wheel lands on ďlose a turnĒ)

Faye Schnant: Ok come on thousand! (Goes to spin wheel).

Pat Sajak: (Pushes Fayeís hand away) Donít you touch that! Keep your dirty fingers off that wheel! Iím sorry Lexie, Iím so sorry, please spin again.

Lexie Vuncannon: Really? Ok. Oh, oh itís, well, itís stuck

Pat Sajak: No give it a good, no try it again.

(Lexie jumps up and down trying to move the wheel)

Pat Sajak: Give it a real good tug. Give it a nice tug.

Lexie Vuncannon: Its stuck.

Pat Sajak: Yeah stuck. Bruce she said the wheel is stuck, could we fix that maybe? Whatís that? I should take my hand off of it? (Takes hand off wheel) Itís fixed? Oh great, ok fantastic, itís fixed there we go. There we go. Alright give it another spin there honey. There you go. There we go.

(The wheel starts being lowered towards the floor)

Lexie Vuncannon: Well itsÖwhatís happening. I canít reach it! Itís sinking!

(Shows Pat turning a crank to lower the wheel)

Lexie Vuncannon: Its sinking, I cant reach its in the floor. (Has to lean over the table to reach the wheel).

Pat Sajak: Iím sorry I dunno whatís happening it must be magic Lexie.

Lexie Vuncannon: Oh like Harry Potter.

Pat Sajak: Yeah, Harry, Harry Potter oh, oh man. (Lexie spins) There you go, thereeee we go. Three hundred!

Lexie Vuncannon: Three hundred!

Pat Sajak: Yeah, you know what I think the wheelís still spinning (spins wheel with his hand). Its still going there, there we go. A thousand!

Lexie Vuncannon: A thousand!

Pat Sajak: (Spins wheel again with his hand) Oh its still spinning, its still spin, I dunno why, its still spinning, its stillÖ

Faye Schnant: Thatís cause your moving it Pat!

Pat Sajak: Oh prove it schnots!

Aubrey Simmel: Um excuse me when is it our turn?

Pat Sajak: You know what? Maybe never Aubrey Simmel! In fact for interrupting, for interrupting Lexie gets five thousand dollars and a new car.

Lexie Vuncannon: Oh a new car!

Pat Sajak: Yes.

(Lexie starts jumping up and down while Pat stares, meanwhile Faye tries to copy Lexie to get Patís attention).

Pat Sajak: Donít. Donít. Donít! No! No! You are embarasÖyou are embarasÖ No, no, no please! (Stops Faye from leaning over the table). Hey Bruce roll that back again slow motion with a little ďwack wack wackĒ music yeah (shows a clip of Lexie jumping up and down in slow motion) yeah, yeah. Someone email me that clip please, thank you. Ok whats happeningÖ. The show! Yes the showÖ Lexie do you wanna take a stab and solve the puzzle?

Lexie Vuncannon: Ah yeah is there a K?

Pat Sajak: Yes theres a B.

Lexie Vuncannon: Is there a Z?

Pat Sajak: Yes there are two Lís.

Faye Schnant: Hey thatís cheating!

Pat Sajak: Ah shut up! Shut your mouth! Donít you ever interrupt me ever in front of Lexie! How dare you! Do you wanna see cheating? Do you really wanna see what cheating looks like? Ah Vanna show me an R, show me an H, an M, an N.

Lexie Vuncannon: Iíd like to solve the puzzle.

Pat Sajak: I want you to.

(Answer on the board is supposed to be ďAbraham LincolnĒ)

Lexie Vuncannon: Madonna!

(Incorrect buzzer sounds)

Pat Sajak: Thatís correct.

Aubrey Simmel: Wait a second, no! This is an outrage! This is an absolute scam, the only reason sheís winning is because youíve got a boner.

Pat Sajak: Of course I do Aubrey Simal of course I have a boner! Look at her! Look at her! Take a good look at her!

Aubrey Simmel: But it ainít nothing I ainít seen before.

Pat Sajak: Oh yeah, well Bruce roll that clip again. (Shows clip). Yeah, yupÖ

Aubrey Simmel: (Voice goes deep) Oh my god I think Iím straight.

Faye Schnant: Oh my god Iím a lesbian.

Pat Sajak: I think thatís all the time we have, good night everyone!

-------"The real funny beneath the funny"-------

Last edited by funny_guy; 12/19/2005 at 9:34 PM.
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