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  #1  
Old 09/13/2004, 5:39 PM
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MoCollins4Ever Female MoCollins4Ever is offline
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Default World's Queeniest Police Chases (#802)

Voice: Frank Caliendo
Policemen 1: Frank Caliendo
Policemen 2: Ike Barenholtz
JM : Josh Meyers
E : Extra
AS : Aries Spears
MM : Michael McDonald
BL : Bobby Lee
MM2 : Micheal McDonald as another character

(Open to cop cars chasing men and cars)

Voice: You wanted raw energy, we brought you the World's Wildest Police Chases. You wanted danger. We brought you the World's Scariest Police Chases. Then you got bored and we ran out of ideas, but this big guy in our mail room sent us something that sounded okay. So get ready for : The World's Queeniest Police Chases!

(shows car with definate gay black man sitting on hood of car dancing and shows bumper sticker that reads : I'm not gay, but MIATA is!)

Police1: Good Afternoon, you know you were going over the speedlimit?

JM : Did you know that we're late for a Margaret Chow concert?

Police1 : Hmm. I'm afraid that's not an excuse. I'm going to have to issue you a citation.

JM: And I'm gunna have to issue you this (does snap like a girl) Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Police1 : Allright, we'll do it that way. Sir, please step out of the car.

JM: Right, RUN GIRLS! (both men get out of car with Aries still on the hood)

Police1 : Whoa, whoa whoa whoa. Why aren't you running?

AS: I ain't gettin all sweaty.

Police1: Sir, please get out of the car.

AS: You gun' be sorry.

Police1: Yea, I know, just please get off the car.

(Aries gets up to reveal a thong made out of his jeans and shows his entire butt)

Police1: Sir get back in the car. Get back where you were. Let's catch us some queens.

(Song plays (instead of Bad Boys) Gay Boys)(All men start running away from cop and they are clearly not very fast.)

*******

MM : Look.

BL : Where'd you get that?

MM : I stole it from the clerk when he wasn't looking. Smell. (holds candle to Bobby's face)

BL : That smells like ass.

(Ike gets out of his car)

MM : Like you would know.

BL : What is that supposed to mean?(Pokes Mike)

MM : It means you're a greedy little bottom. (shakes finger)

Police1 : Hey guys, You stole some stuff. You guys are under arrest.

MM : SCATTER! (both men start running like girls but police catch up)

Police1 : Where you guys going? You got a receipt for this? (holding candle)

MM : Yes I do.

Police1 : Where would that be?

MM : SCATTER!

BL : What are you doing? ( both keep running like girls away from the police but don't get very far)

*******

Police2 : A lot of police officers think chasing queens isn't dangerous. Pfft. A lot of police officers are wrong.

*******

MM2 : (Comes up while Police1 is on coffee break at his car) All right officer, you caught me fair and square, you better cuff me.

Police1 : You didn't do anything wrong.

MM2 : Oh , yes I did, I was just awful! (laughs) Catch me!

Police1 : Sir, I'm sorry sir, I'm on break. I'm enjoying a bagel.

MM2 : I'm gunna assault you! (pokes playfully)

Police1 : Sir, that's not assault that's just annoying.

MM2 : I'm gunna getcha! I'm gunna getcha!

Police1 : Sir, SIR! (both men start running around the car while mike is on the walkie talkie attatched to Ike's iniform)

MM2 : Someone call in a S.W.A.T. team. I'm about to do somethin'. (touches Ike's butt)

*******

Police2 : Stay tuned for the World's Queeniest Police Chases. Maybe the most surprising hour of television you've ever seen. (walks away to reveal he's in capri's and sandals, then get's in car and talks on walkie talkie) Steven honey, I'm coming home. (Gay Boys theme plays)

* ~ - scene fades out - ~ *

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  #2  
Old 09/14/2004, 5:16 PM
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lol i like that one.

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  #3  
Old 09/14/2004, 5:30 PM
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lol me too.... i thought michael mcdonald as the blonde one was hilarious! lol

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  #4  
Old 09/14/2004, 5:38 PM
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Chunk up the deuce
 
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fa shizzle! lol jk

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  #5  
Old 07/28/2005, 1:26 PM
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One Word:
"SCATTER!!!"
XD XD XD XD
I laughed all the way through this sketch. Very good one, yes.

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  #6  
Old 07/28/2005, 1:50 PM
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haha! this was one of the best! especially at the end with frank. i love him!

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  #7  
Old 08/04/2005, 7:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by MoCollins4Ever
haha! this was one of the best! especially at the end with frank. i love him!
I love frank too!!!!lol, srry, im hyper......

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