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Old 12/16/2004, 3:31 PM
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Default Al Casdy: Time Management (#111)

Miss Information

Sketch Length: 3:10
Original Airdate: 01.13.96

Bryan Callen ... Al Casdy
Phil LaMarr ... Bill
Mary Scheer ... Announcer (voice only)

(The MADtv audience cheers as the sketch begins, and self-help speaker Al Casdy speaks into the camera.)

Al: Hi, quit wasting time. I bet I've got your attention. My name is Al Casdy, and I want to show you how you can stop wasting unnecessary time. As author of the book, How to Be More Productive by Stopping Wasting Time in the Workspace or in the Car Driving to or from Work or Even at Home with Your Family and Everyone Can Do It Now. It's an easy-to-follow book that shows you how you can stop wasting time now. Do you waste time? Don't answer that, of course you do. We all do. In an average person's day, if you were to add up all of the wasted time; it would just amaze you at how much time is wasted in an average person's day. And we do that, every day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. Watch this.

(Bill enters the room.)

Al: Hi, Bill. How are you?

Bill: Fine, Al. How are you?

Al: Fine, thanks. See, do you see? You're wasting time right there. Thanks, Bill.

Bill: No problem. I just hope that I somehow helped you make your point about how much time is wasted in an average person's day in the skit we did just now.

Al: You did, Bill, and I thank you. Bill helped to outline one of the simple ways you can avoid wasting unnecessary time. Why not a greeting like this: Fine.

Bill: Me, too.

Al: See, do you see? That's just one easy way, and there's more. Number one: instead of waiting for a red light, cut through a gas station. Brush your teeth while you eat. Number three: lay your next day's clothes on top of you while you sleep. If your name is Johnathon or Richard, change it to John or Rich. Number five: pee in the shower. I have discovered literally billions of ways that we waste time every day. And wasting time is just that: a waste of time. I'm going to give you a moment of valuable time to let that sink in. Makes you think, doesn't it? When you add up these examples, you will be just amazed at how much time is left over for fun and productive things.

Bill: Hey, Al. I've got tickets to the baseball game. It will be fun. Want to go?

Al: No, thanks. I don't like baseball. But with all the valuable time I saved today, I could go if I wanted. It's all about time management. Just buy my book of ideas that will help you to stop wasting unnecessary time. So order now.

Announcer: To receive the book on time management in the commercial you've just seen, write to:

TIME MANAGEMENT
BOX 1211
LOS ANGELES, CA 90061

And if you order now, we'll throw in this forty volume set of videos, chalk-full of time management tips. Each video contains four hours of acted-out examples of how you can stop wasting time, acted out by real actors. Don't waste any more time. Why don't you act now?

(The MADtv audience cheers as the sketch ends.)

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