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  #1  
Old 10/17/2004, 9:28 AM
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MJB12 Male MJB12 is offline
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Default Angela and Natalie Stalk the President (#1001)

ANGELA & NATALIE STALK THE PRESIDENT (#1001)
Sketch length - 4:12

Angela Wright.................STEPHNIE WEIR
Natalie............................PAUL VOGT
Man.................................BOBBY LEE
Secret Service Agents.....IKE BARINHOLTZ
....KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY
....RON PEDERSON

ANGELA: Hi, this is Angela Wright, eighth grader at Boyd Junior High School, and directly behind me, practicing his golf swing, is George W. Bush - president of the United Mistakes.



NATALIE (behind camera): Hey, look at that squirrel. He's so mad...someone stole his nut.

ANGELA: Natalie, you have to stay focused on me! This is an historic moment. You are about to witness the president signing this legal and binding document that says "Angela Wright is exonerated from all social studies projects, and by law must receive an A+ in the class".

NATALIE: How do you know he's going to sign it?

ANGELA: Natalie, are you kidding me? How do you think his daughters finished high school?

MAN: Excuse me, I don't think you're allowed to cross this barricade.

ANGELA: Oh, gee, how Republican of you. Okay, Natalie, stay focused on me. Don't get distracted by the squirrel.

NATALIE: I'll try...there's so many out today. Each with their own quirky personality.

Angela runs down the side of the hill towards Bush, but is tackled by two Secret Service agents.

**CUT TO LATER**

Angela is reset behind the barricade.

SECRET AGENT IKE: Don't cross the barricade, don't cross it again!

ANGELA: Geez, don't you think they take their jobs a little too seriously. I mean, come on, it's George Bush, not Jessica Simpson.

MAN: I told you so.

ANGELA: I got...I got an idea!

NATALIE: You're going to write the report?

ANGELA: No, better. You are going to block the security guys, while I rush to the President. Sir, would you record us, please?

MAN: Love to.

**CUT TO LATER**

Natalie and Angela are joined, side by side.

ANGELA: I lost my pen...I need another pen.



NATALIE: I don't have a pen, but I do have my...DynaWrite Magic Marker.

ANGELA: Oh, I love these things. So much ink...

BOTH: It'll blow your mind!

ANGELA: Alright, let's do this, Natalie! Come on!

Angela climbs over.

NATALIE: I'm going to go around.

ANGELA: Okay, just block me, Natalie. We have to get this signed. Just block me, just block me, here they come.

Secret Service agents run towards them, but Natalie blocks Angela. They try to go around, and Angela weaves through them. An agent runs for Natalie.

NATALIE: I'm Canadian, I'm Canadian!

Angela gives up on running and throws the dynamite shaped marker and notebook towards Bush. Thinking it's a bomb, one of the agents jumps for it.

SECRET AGENT KEEGAN: Take cover!

He realizes it isn't a bomb, and goes to tackle Angela.

ANGELA: No child left behind!

**CUT TO LATER**

Angela, Natalie, and the man are now sitting in a dark van. They're all crying.



ANGELA: I'm so scared, this is all my fault.

NATALIE: They put us in a van!

MAN: Where are they taking us?

ANGELA: I just wish I had done the stupid report...I wish I could turn back time!

The van screeches to a halt.

NATALIE & MAN: We stopped!

ANGELA: Omigod, omigod!

**CUT TO LATER**

They are walking outside again.

ANGELA: They dropped us off like a block away, like we're not going to walk right back.

NATALIE: Why don't you just write the report?

ANGELA: Because Natalie, a lazy man works twice as hard.

NATALIE: Hey, look at all the squirrels. (camera turns) Oh my gosh, they all hid when you turned around.

MAN: I think they want those nuts.

NATALIE: Why, when the biggest nut in the world is practicing his golf swing 50 feet away.

The camera turns back, where two agents have wound up behind Angela and Natalie. They scream.

SECRET AGENT RON: Let's turn this off.

*CUT TO LATER*

ANGELA: We're back in the van. Why didn't I just go home when I had the chance? We're all going to die because I'm so stupid!

NATALIE: I don't know about that, those squirrels looked like they were going to kill us anyway.

ANGELA: Please god, just give me one more chance--(van stops) Ohmigod! Ohmigod!!!

**CUT TO LATER**

ANGELA: Shame on me for doing it once, shame on them for dropping us off in the exact same--

She is tackled by one of the agents again. Natalie doesn't realize this right away, but is then chased towards the camera by another agent.

**CUT TO LATER**

They're back in the van.

ANGELA: I want to apologize to Natalie's mom, and to this guy's family...because I'm so stupid. Oh, I'm so scared...

A squirrel pops up. They scream.

**CUT TO LATER**

Everyone is outside, including the agents, who are being attacked by squirrels.

ANGELA: Oh, my god! We're being attacked by squirrels! Mrs. Rogers, I'm going to need more time to do this report!

A squirrel pops in front of the camera, which goes to static.


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Last edited by MJB12; 11/27/2004 at 4:44 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10/17/2004, 4:02 PM
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Mrs. Rogers. Angela goes to Boyd Junior High School, but sometimes it sounds like "Bouie".

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What happened to Andrae?
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  #3  
Old 10/17/2004, 4:26 PM
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I am glad that you did this transcript, this one of my favorite sketches, its hilarious!
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  #4  
Old 10/18/2004, 6:24 PM
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Thanks, Jim.

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  #5  
Old 11/27/2004, 1:17 PM
Devin Male Devin is offline
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I like when she is in the car and is like

"I am so scared"
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  #6  
Old 03/15/2005, 5:50 PM
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OMG...thanx for the transcript...i luv this Angela..my total favorite!!!

I thought it was so funny when they kept going back and getting tackled by the secret service...I lol through the whole skit

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