[MADtv] Sesame Street: Economic Depression (#1316)

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Cast

Singer: Nicole Parker
Big Bird: Jordan Peele
Billy: Bobby Lee
Sally: Crista Flanagan
Gordon: Keegan-Michael Key
Profile Man: Dan Oster
ProfileWoman: Arden Myrin
Cookie Monster: Unknown (if someone does know please mention it in the comments).
Chef: Unknown (for Cookie Monster also goes same for Chef).

Signs

: Means when someone is singing. The singing ends when another music sign follows.

(When something is in italic and in brackets, that means that I am talking about a movement, or a visual that is not being said by a character)

Singer (off screen): (kids playing in a playground and crossing a bridge during the song) Everybody here is feeling good, won't you come on down a play in your favourite neighborhood.

(Big Bird under a tree)

Big Bird: (moans) Why me, why me (fist to the hevens) (moans)



(Billy and Sally arrive)

Billy: Bird we've been looking for you.

Sally: Bird, why aren't you in your nest on Sesame Street?

Big Bird: The big bank took it when I defaulted on my ajustable rate morgage.

Sally: Oh no, what are you going to do?

Big Bird: Well I thought I'd move back home. This is the tree I grew up in, but my parents say there's no room for me.

(Bird(s) poop on him from treen. He wipes the bird poop off his beak)



Big Bird: Ok, I get it dad! My parents think I'm a wierdo.

Billy: Why, because your so big?

Big Bird: No, because I hang out with kids 30 years younger than me.

(Gordon rides in on a bycicle with a ice cream freezer attached)



Gordon: Hey kids, bird what is going on?

Sally: Bird has to move from Sesame Street. What are you doing Gordon?

Gordon: Oh, I lost my job doing what ever I did before. Now I've been relegated to a medial task usually performed by illigal aliens.

Big Bird: Wow, I guess it's hard all over.

Gordon: It sure is bird, it sure is.

(Song starts playing as Billy, Sally, and Gordon get into a line in front

Gordon: (Gordon puts his hands around his throte as Billy, and Sally march around him) Economically this whole country's screwed it seems, you can read it in the paper every day (Billy, Sally, and Gordonpretends to open a newspaper, and does a hand gesture). Economically this whole country's screwed it seems and looks like it's going to stay that way (Billy, Sally, and Gordon point all around and pretend to cover there eyes from the sun.

Sally (Camera focuses on her): Real listate and stocks drop (does a thumbs down), as the price of oil soars (points right arm up in the air).

Billy: But somehow we can still afford to fund a couple of wars (rubs his fingers on the thumb of his right hand, and then pretends to point a gun).

Gordon: Economically this whole countries screwed it seems, if your listening by now you might have guessed, the economy and we are all depressed (Billy, Sally, and Gordon turn around, go to their right, and then go back to the middle for a rising star stand)!

(Screen shifts to 2 people (1 man, and 1 woman) in black profile behind a blue screen.



Profile Man: B.

Profile Woman: ear Stearns.

Profile Man & Woman: Bear Stearns.

Profile Man: B.

Profile Woman: ankrupt.

Profile Man & Woman: Bankrupt.

Profile Man: B.

Profile Woman: low Your Brains Out.

Profile Man & Woman: Blow Your Brains Out.

(Back under the tree with Big Bird, Billy, Sally, and Gordon).

Big Bird: Man, just as I thought things couldn't get worse, I mean I was already livin on the street.

Sally: Maybe things will change when we get a new president?

Gordon: (laughs) Yeah right! Sally, our president doesn't have any real power.

Big Bird: Yeah, he's a bigger puppet than I am.

Billy: I wish I could vote, but I'm only 13.

Sally: And I'm a girl.

Gordon: Oh kid's it wouldn't matter anyway. If I've learned one thing it's that one vote doesn't make a difference (Billy lifts up the cart to try and steal some ice cream). Get your hands off the merchindice Johnny Crow!

(Seen shifts to Cookie Monster leaning on a brick wall moaning)



(Billy comes in)

Billy: Cookie what's wrong?

Cookie Monster: Oh Billy, Cookie eat too much sugar, Cookie no produce insoline, Cookie no have helth insurance, so Cookie have to cut off own foot (moans) (Cookie Monster lifts up his leg to reveal a white bandage around the ball of his food with blood seeping through the bandage from the wound that was caused where Cookie Monster had to cut off his foot).

(Music starts playing as Billy and Cookie Monster move side to side)



Cookie Monster: (Text appears at the bottom of the screen with cookie bouncing off the letters as the word are being spoken) D for diabetes, that's what is wrong with me. Me no want to sound needy, but health care should be free. I lost one of my feeties. Now, me and amputee. Diabetes is what is wrong with me.

Billy & Cookie: Diabetes is what is wrong with Cookie!

(Back to Big Bird, Sally, and Gordon under the tree)

Sally: Gosh this countries in the crapper.

(Billy arrives)

Billy: What can we do about it Gordon.

Gordon: You can come work for me. This ice cream cart double's as a a mobile meth lab.

(Gordon opens box and Chef comes out holding a cup with white smoke coming out of it)



Chef: Borli bort bort bort!

Gordon: The chef is the best cooker in town.

(Big Bird, Billy, Sally, and Gordon all cheer)



Chef: Bort!

(A sign comes up with the text 123 Sesame Street. Sketch ends

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I was going to put more pictures but this was the best video I could find (and therefore got the images from). I couldn't find any videos on Hulu or Fox because they only keep them for 3 weeks. Stupid right? I hope the day comes soon when every episode is on the internet with crystle clear quality and so on.