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#1
01/23/2007, 7:58 PM
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Sesame Street: Internet Pedophile #1-2 (#1204)
Sesame Street: Internet Pedophile
CAST Crista Flanagan: Sally Bobby Lee: Billy Keegan-Michael Key: Gordan Frank Caeti: Bert, Face #1 [voice only] Arden Myrin: Face #2 [voice only] Jordan Peele: Big Bird [voice only] Ike Barinholtz: FBI Agent Michael McDonald: Chris Hansen ------------- [Part 1. Sketch opens with kids shown playing on a playground as a song plays over it.]  Sun and fun, joyful times for everyone. Everybody here is feeling good! Won't you come and down and play in your favorite neighborhood? [We see Big Bird, Billy, and Sally. Billy is holding a cell phone.] Big Bird: Hey Billy, what are you doing? Billy: I'm writing to my new friend I met on MyPlace. Big Bird: MyPlace? What's thaaaaaaaaaaaat? Sally: It's an internet website where you can meet new friends! Billy: Hey, I just got a new message from my new friend Dr. Fuzzy Balls 1964! Gordan: Hi kids! Bird! What is going on? Sally: Hi Gordan! Billy met a new friend on the Internet! Gordan: Oh! Billy: And he wants to meet me today! Gordan: Meet you? Whoa, whoa, whoa Billy...how much do you know about this friend? Billy: Well, he's really into fashion, because he's always asking me what I'm wearing. And he's really good with computers because he only needs one hand to type. Gordan: Uh oh... Gordan: Watch out for the people on the internet. Big Bird: You don't know who you'll get... Sally: And you just might regret when... Gordan: You meet with some people on the internet. Gordan, Sally, Billy, Big Bird: There are lots of freaks and creeps out there! [We see two white faces on a blue screen. A letter pops up, and then a word.] Face #1: M... Face #2: Yplace. Face #1 and Face #3: MyPlace! Face #1: M... Face #2: Essage. Face #1 and Face #3: Message! Face #1: M... Face #2: Olester. Face #1 and Face #3: Molester! [We see Billy and the pedophile] Billy: Dr. Fuzzy Balls? Pedophile: Yeah...you must be Billy. Hmm...you look much older then 13. Billy: Yeah, cause i'm a smoker. Anyway, take a seat, i'm gonna go change my clothes. [Chris Hansen walks in.] Chris Hansen: Well hello there! I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Pedophile: What are you doing here? Chris Hansen: Are you Dr. Fuzzy Balls 1964? Pedophile: Uhh...yeah, that's an old....fraternity nickname. Chris Hansen: What fraternity? Pedophile: I...felta...thigh? Chris Hanson: Did you send Billy this picture? [Chris shows the Pedophile a picture of the Pedophile's fuzzy balls.] Pedophile: Oh, um no...I mean, uh, that's me...but uhh......haaaaahaaa... [Two FBI Agents come in.] FBI Agent: FREEZE! EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [The agent takes the Pedohile and cuffs him. Everyone else comes in and they find out he's Bert.] Sally: It's Bert! Bert: Oh no! Big Bird: I always knew there was something sketchy about him... Bert: Ummm... I'm an alcohalic, yeah, that's it, and... uh, Mr. Hooper molested me, so that's why I did it. Gordan: I'm sorry old friend, we're not buying it. Everybody makes mistakes everyone once in a while, but you sure popped a boner cause you are a pedophile. Sally: It is clear now that you are an online predator! Billy: And you won't get away with it cause you are not a senator! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordan: You're going to...Bert: Boo-hoo! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordan: Prison! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordan: You're going to...Bert: Boo-hoo! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordan: Prison! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordan: Your felt ass is gonna be ridden every day! Voiceover: Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters A-O-L -- providing chat rooms to children for over a decade! [Part 2. Billy, Gordon, and Sally are getting ready to perform the last song.] Gordon: Everybody makes, makes stakes every once and a while. [Crista laughs] Gordon:  You sure poped a boner because you are a pedofileSally: It is clear now that you are an online predator. Billy: But you won't get away with it. Your not a senator.Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordon: You're are going to...Bert: Boo-hoo! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordon: You're are going to...Bert: Boo-hoo! Billy, Big Bird, Sally, Gordon: Prison. You're felt ass is going to be ridden everyday![Billy falls on his side, and Gordon hides behind Sally] __________________ :doctor: Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 07/05/2009 at 1:48 AM. Reason: Part 2 Added |
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#4
11/29/2007, 8:01 PM
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Posting this 11 months later, but isn't it "popped a boner"?
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