[MADtv] Sesame Street: Dirty Bomb (#1211)

[Rurry]

Sesame Street: Dirty Bomb

CAST:
Jordan Peele - Big Bird [voice]
Keegan-Michael Key - Gordan
Bobby Lee - Billy
Crista Flanagan - Sally
Frank Caeti - Elmo, Oscar, Kermit, Voice-over.
Matt Braunger - Has Mat Guy
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Sketch opens and shows little kids playing on a playground as music plays

Sun and fun, joyful times for everyone! Everybody here is feeling good! Won't you come on down and play, in your favorite neighborhood?

[We see Big Bird in his nest]

Big Bird: Yowch!

[Sally and Billy come walking to Big Bird]

Sally: Oh my gosh, Bird, you're glowing!

Billy: You've got bald spots where your feathers used to be!

Big Bird: Plus, I laid an egg, and it came out hard boiled. Which is really weird because I'm a male bird.

Gordon: Hey kids, Bird, what is going on?

Sally: Hi Gordon! Bird's glowing, and his feathers are falling out.

Gordon: Uh oh Bird, it seems you might have what that Russiain Secret Agent died of...radiation poisoning!

Big Bird: Radiation poisining? What's that?

Gordon: Radiation poisining, is a really awful thing! Radiation can give you a greenish hue! Just look at you!

Billy: Everything it touches dies.

Sally: You must have messed with spies!

Billy, Sally, Gordon: Radiation is worse then any Bird Flu!


[Switch scenes to show Kermit in a hosptial bed]

Kermit: It's quite easy being green. *cough* When you've got paloniem in your bloodstream. As my organs cook, they thicken, the doctors hope I taste like chicken.

[We see two men inspecting Sesame Street for radiation]

Has Mat Guy: The radiation is coming from this trash can.

[They open the lid and find Oscar]

Oscar: Hey! What the...doesn't anybody knock anymore?

Has Mat Guy: This trash can is full of radioactive materials!

Gordon: Hey Oscar, what is going on?

Oscar: I was making a dirty bomb.

Billy: I did that once, after I ate scallops and chocolate milk.

Gordon: No, Billy, a dirty bomb is a weapon of terrorism.

Sally: But Oscar's not a terrorist, are you Oscar?

Oscar: Hell no. I was making it for...uhh...somebody else.

Elmo: Hey Oscar! You got that dirty bomb?

[Looks around and sees everyone watching him]

Elmo: Uh oh....

Gordon: Hey Elmo, why do you need a dirty bomb?

Elmo: Elmo's not Elmo anymore. Elmo's Elmo TMX! Elmo's an extremist! Time for Elmo to take over Sesame Street and turn it into Elmo's World!

Gordon: Well, I hate to tell you this, but they've defused your bomb, my power-hungry friend. Now take him away, hasmat guys who are also police officers.

Big Bird: Hey Oscar, you were closer to the radiation then I was. How come you're not infencted?

Oscar: I've got a kick-ass immune system. I've been living in my own crap for 30 years. That's why.

[We see the Sesame Street logo and a voice-over]

Voiceover: Sesame Street is brought do you by the letters KGB. Killing people in creepy ways for the last 50 years!

[Sketch ends]

[JavierOmar]

Originally Posted by Rurry

[We see the Sesame Street logo and a voice-over]

Voiceover: Sesame Street is brought do you by the letters KBL. Killing people in creepy ways for the last 50 years!

[Sketch ends]

It's KBG

[edkedkedk]

Erm actually it's K, G, and B. But I don't think it matters much, right?