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  #1  
Old 10/27/2004, 9:53 AM
Viper's Avatar
Viper Male Viper is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,400
Default Kenny Rogers' Jackass (#623)

Kenny Rogers Ė Will Sasso
Jackass #1
Jackass #2

Kenny:
HI IíM KENNY ROGERS AND THIS IS JACKASS!

(Fade to the Kenny Rogersí Jackass American Flag title screen)


Kenny: This oneís called the Police brutality trick, there he is move the camera hide the camera


Hey uh, excuse me officer I love my doggy up in the park

(Kenny grabs the Officers Gun and tries to run, he shoots himself in the foot and is beat down by the Officers night stick)
(Fade out)


Hi Iím Kenny Rogers and this is the Stilt Trick

(Jackass #1 on stilts,
gets hit by Kenny and Jackass #2ís baseball bats)
(Kenny Laughs hysterically)


Hahahahahahha

(Jackass #2 hits Kenny in the kneecap with a baseball bat)
Kenny, now angry, pushes #2 over)

(Kenny on Stilts)

Kenny: Dududulludedu

(He gets hit by baseball bats, one breaks)
(Fade out)


(Kenny guzzling some Jack Daniels and wearing sunglasses)

Hi Iím Kenny Rogers and this is Self Defence
weíre gonna test out some self defence items

weíve got Pepper Scray, Electric Cattle Prodder, thatís a Sword I guess, Knunchucks, bats, not doing that (throws one bat away)

Weíre gonna see which one of these items is best for the consumer self defence.

This is Pepper Spray...
GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY! (#1 sprays kenny right in the eyes with the pepper spray)

ARHHHHHHHH!!!! (falls to the ground screaming)
ARGH THAT BURNS!
MOTHER ARGH!

(Cuts to Kenny holding the cattle prodder rubbing his eyes)

This is the Cattle Prodder (blinking) ouch

Hey arenít you the guy from Blink 182?
[i](Kenny gets prodded in the stomach)[i]
ARGHHHHHHHHH!
(gets prodded in the back,
falls to the ground shaking and gets prodded repeatedly)

ARGHHHH OH!
OK STOP STOP!
ARGHHH!
STOP MAN!

(Cuts to Kenny wearing sunglasses drinking some Jack Daniels
and pointing at the different self defence items on the table)

Thatís the end of Self Defence, Iím not gonna do anymore
The Pepper spray was tough
The Cattle Prodders hurt like a son of a bitch
and Iím not going anywhere this the rest of the sh**
Cause F*** that (Kenny gets unexpectedly hit in the back by #1 with a baseball bat,
he spits out some bourbon)

OOWWWWWW!

(Fade out)

(Kenny wearing goggles and elbow pads)


Iím Kenny Rogers and this is the Off Road Toy Downhill
See all of these toys (points to the preschool tricycles)

and weíre gonna race these Mother F*****s
LETS GO!

(#1 goes down the hill first riding a childís toy, he goes flying off it)
(#2 goes next and is in a little trailer, he pathetically just rolls off)

(Kennyís last and races down fast on a Tricycle,
#1 and #2 hit him with base ball bats as he races down the hill
when he gets to the bottom, they hit him again,
heís furious and throws the tricycle at them as they run away)
(fade out)


Iím Kenny Rogers and this is the Shopping Cart Trick!

(Kenny sitting in a shopping cart #1 and #2 pushing it into a curb
Kenny goes flying out of it and lands hard on the grass)
(fade out)

(Kenny standing with #1 and #2 holding a baseball bat and drinking his JDs)

Hi Iím Kenny Rogers and this is the Bat Fetcher Trick with my Teeth!

(#2 throws a baseball bat at Kenny,
It flies through the air and hits Kenny right in the face,
he falls to the grass)


Kenny: Iím alright

(#2 helps him up, but Kenny knees him in the balls and beats on him with the bat
#1 runs over to help his friend and stars beating Kenny, who beats him back.
Kenny turns to the camera)


I Love being on this Jackass Show!

(Cuts to Kenny laying on the grass getting beat on by #1 with baseball bat)
(Fade out)

(Kenny wearing his sunglasses and holding his bottle of Jack)

Hi Iím Kenny Rogers and this is the Dairy Challenge.
Each one of these jackasses has these dairy products in front of them (points to all the different dairy products on the table)
And the winner is the one who finishes first.
Cheers, lets get going!

(The 3 of them sat down begin drinking the dairy
Kenny turns to #2)

Kenny: I WAS RAISED ON THE DAIRY BITCH!

(Kenny mixes dairy with his bourbon)

(#1 spits some milk,
Kenny jumps up and pukes in the bucket)


Kenny: Iím alright Iím Alright

(Kenny sits down,
Kenny and #1 both spit out some milk)

Kenny: HEY, YOU GOT EGGNOG IN MY GOATS MILK!
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAA, HA, HA, HA

(about to puke, Kenny jumps up again and pukes in the bucket again)
(Sat down again and looking terrible with puke in his beard)


Kenny: Donít come near me Iíma puke

(#1 runs behind Kenny and shocks him in the back with the cattle prodder)
Kenny shakes and spits out all the dairy
and continues shaking0

Kenny: GET AWAY WITH THAT!

(#2 hits Kenny with a baseball bat)


(cut to Kenny stood over the bucket slowly puking the dairy and then shoves his head in the bucket,
#1 breaks a baseball bat over Kennyís head,
He gets up dazed and confused)


Kenny: OWWWWWWWW!


(Cuts to Kenny puking and drinking a huge amount of milk)


(Then cuts to Kenny puking on #1ís head twice
Kenny then pukes in the bucket again and gets puked on by #2)
(Fade out.)

(A complete mess, dairy products all over the place,
the 3 of them are sat at the table looking extremely sick)

Kenny: All the Dairy products is doooone and we realise thatÖ.
Nobody wins in the Dairy Challenge.

(Kenny waves to the camera)


Thatís Kenny Rogersí Jackass
Goodnight!

(Fade to the Kenny Rogersí Jackass American Flag title screen)

__________________

Kenny Rogers CS2 CHAMPION: Want sumthin' done right, Gotta doooo it yourself!
Young People, be less picky about who you screw cause it all feels the same in the dark

Jasmine Wayne-Wayne: Je ne sais quoi = I am an Indian.
England?......Where's That? I miss the Money

WILL SASSO IS THE KING OF MADtv

Last edited by Viper; 12/29/2004 at 9:45 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10/27/2004, 2:56 PM
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MJB12 Male MJB12 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Centennial, CO
Posts: 1,590
Kenny Rogers fan, eh?

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  #3  
Old 06/28/2011, 12:24 PM
kravitz Male kravitz is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
how the heck do you work this thing? I've been trying to watch this video for 20 minutes! this sucks
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