[MADtv] The Gillian Vigman Quadruple-Feature

[mizzimad]

After the life-changing experience of "The Andrew Daly Quadruple-Feature," you surely had to be saying to yourselves, "Gee, the only thing that could possibly top that monumental feat of journalism would be a similar quadruple-feature for a Season 9 'MADtv' featured player." Well, dear readers, Armageddon has officially arrived in the form of a film foursome devoted to the lovely Gillian Vigman. Oh, certainly you remember Gillian's numerous brilliant contributions to the legendary ninth season of our cherished sketch comedy series. As I wrack the deepest recesses of my upstairs grey matter to recall some of those golden moments, enjoy your Gillian Vigman quadruple-feature. Burned popcorn and eight-legged Raisinettes are not included.

The most logical place to begin our cinematic Gillian journey is Step Brothers, which, as fate would have it, is debuting in theaters today (July 25th). The comedy film stars John C. Reilly and "Saturday Night Live" alum Will Ferrell as two spoiled, immature wastes of oxygen who become stepbrothers after their single parents marry. Of course, the two reluctant siblings initially hate each other but later become best friends. In other words, if you are one of the myriad moviegoers who will secretly be wishing for Will Ferrell's strangulation only three frames into the film, then I am afraid that will be sorely disappointed. For what it's worth (not much, I'm guessing), Gillian's minor role as a frustrated job interviewer is actually rather funny. If you want to see this bit and subsequently save yourself eight moviegoing bucks, then go here to check out a trailer of Step Brothers. You and your wallet will be forever thankful that you did. At any rate, special thanks go to tvmanismadformad for bringing Gillian's apperance in this masterpiece to our attention.

If you are looking for a more substantial Gillian fix, then perhaps They Came from Upstairs will be more to your liking. From the information located in this article, we learn that this adventure/comedy stars Ashley Tisdale as one of a group of teenagers who come together to defend their Maine vacation home from an alien invasion, which (predictably enough) occurs upstairs. Gillian will play Tisdale's mother, Nina Pearson, who, like any responsible mother, will undoubtedly lend her wholehearted support to this mission. After all, where your child's future is concerned, nothing else screams admission to Stanford quite like the ability to fight off extraterrestrials who have far too much time on their hands. In keeping with the "Saturday Night Live" theme, I suppose I should also mention that Gillian will share Upstairs screen time with not one, but two "SNL" stalwarts: Kevin Nealon and Tim Meadows. (Indeed, why should we deny ourselves yet another opportunity to reinforce the marketplace dominance of "SNL" over "MADtv"?) Anyway, if all of this zaniness sounds even remotely appealing, then be on the lookout for They Came from Upstairs as it invades theaters in 2009.

The final two films in our Gillian Vigman quadruple-feature seem hardly worth mentioning since one can easily tell from the character descriptions that they are probably only a half-step above extras in terms of importance. For the sake of completion, however, I suppose I should include them. Besides, if I did not mention them, then I would be defeating the purposes of a post in which I promise to discuss four films, now, would I not? Thus, let us discuss.

Some time in 2008, The Slammin' Salmon will be swimming upstream and laying eggs at a theater near you. Here, you can find a description of the plot, which makes Roadhouse seem like Citizen Kane by comparison:

"The Broken Lizard troupe is back with The Slammin' Salmon, a comedy revolving around a restaurant whose former heavyweight champion owner, Cleon Salmon (Michael Clarke Duncan), sets his waitstaff against each other in a competition to see who can win the most tips, with the winner taking home a cash prize and the lowest earner winning a beatdown from the champ. Troupe member Kevin Heffernan makes his directorial debut with the picture, taking over the reigns from Jay Chandrasekhar, who directed all of Lizard's films up till this point."

Gillian offers up yet another Oscar bid as an "amorous woman," a character description which is code for "I hope this is over soon so that I can get back to finding real work as an actor." Of course, if she turns out to be the waiter who gets to beat the living tar out of the loser, then maybe her appearance in Salmon will be worth the trouble after all. Still, I advise you not to hold your breath, at least not until this comedy film hits theaters so that you can see for yourselves. Aw, whom am I kidding? Just wait for the DVD, assuming there will be one.

We wrap up our Gillian Vigman quadruple-feature with a comedy movie that is All about Steve. With a plot that makes Hope Floats seem like, well, Citizen Kane by comparison, the film features Sandra Bullock as an eccentric crossword puzzle junkie who is determined to prove to a CNN cameraman that he and she are meant to be together. In the real world, we call this stalking; in the comedy world, though, it is a surefire formula for success among the Lifetime Network crowd. Gillian, for her part (pardon the pun), hits another one out of the park as a "miscellaneous news reporter," thereby cementing her status as an A-list actor. (Or should that read, "A-listing her status as cement"?) If you want to read more about All about Steve before it hits theaters in 2009, then this article should tell you all that anyone but gossipy soccer moms could possibly want to know.

Please exit the Planet MADtv Cheap Seats Theater in an orderly fashion, as this concludes our Gillian Vigman quadruple-feature. When these films come to real theaters near you, go support Gillian's efforts in them if you are feeling extremely generous. At least you know that you will be getting a generous helping of eye candy to go with your eight-legged Raisinettes.

[tvmanismadformad]

Gillian was totally my favourite 1 year cast member ever! I knew it was her from the moment I saw her in the trailer, if fact that's the only reason I am going to see that movie. For the GV factor!

[potroastpig]

I love Gillian, I'm happy she's getting her work back out there. I still wish they would of hired her on for season 10, along with Danielle and Nicole.

[edkedkedk]

Finally some movies I recognize! It's very nice to see Gillian acting along some people I actually know, heh.

PS: Whatever they said, All About Steve STILL sounds like a stalker movie, only that, well, it's comedy!