[MADtv] Kenny Rogers Punk'd (#906)

[Viper]

Kenny Rogers – Will Sasso
Dex – Ike Barinholtz
Clay Aiken – Ron Pederson
Sean Willam Scott – Josh Meyers
Doris Roberts – Frank Caliendo
Punk’d crew - Bobby Lee


Cue Kenny Rogers Title Screen


Kenny: Hi I’m Kenny Rogers and welcome to Kenny Rogers Punk’d!
IT'S MY SHOW, MY IDEAS, I'M IN CONTROL!
Now hold on a second, I gotta ask myself somethin’
Hey Kenny are you thirsty?
Why, yeah Kenny I sure am

(guzzles bottle of Jack Daniels)
Burp
Yo now the first Celebrity we’re gonna Punk is my good friend Clay Aiken
Yo, ya shudda won Pimp.
But won’t he be surprised when my dog Dex gives him a special delivery
special delivery, of a Rhino turd.

(cut to the corridor of a hotel, Kenny communicates with Dex through an ear piece as kenny is in another room monitoring the punk'd)

Alright now Dex knock on the door and some how let Clay Aiken know you’re a delivery man.

Dex: ok I’ll try

Kenny: But, but, but, but, don’t mention the rhino turd

(Dex knocks on door)

Clay: Yes

Dex: I have a delivery for Mr Aiken

Clay: Super, do you need me to sign something?

Kenny: HAHAHAHHAHA, now kiss his mouth
Dex: What?
Clay: I’m sorry did you say something?

Kenny: pull your weiner out!
Dex: Why don’t I just give him the box with the rhino turd in it?
Kenny: HEY GO F*** YOURSELF DEX, I’M THE ONE WITH ALL THE IDEAS!


(Kenny guzzles some Jack Daniels and rolls his eye)
Kenny: oh I’ve gotta good one, call him the N word, hehehe

Dex: I’m not gonna do that, I, I don’t even get it?

I’m sorry sir, but there’s been a mistake

Clay: Oh, ok, well have a sensational day
(Clay smiles and winks at Dex)

Kenny: WAY TO GO DIP SH** YOU RUINED MY PUNK’D!
(grabs bottle and runs out of the room,
running down the corridor)
YOU SON OF A MOTHER******
SON OF A BITCH!
WANT SOMETHIN’ DONE RIGHT, GOTTA DOOO IT YOURSELF!
(Kenny, steals and wears cap, pushes Dex to the ground)
knocks on door

Clay: Yes?
(Kenny just stands there,

and then unexpectedly kicks Clay Aiken in the balls)
Clay: oooAArrhh!



Kenny: YOU GOT PUNK’D CLAY AIKEN
THAT’S WHAT WE DO!

(cut to black and white with Kenny celebrating his success in Punking Clay Aiken)

Oh, ha, ha, yo, how did he not know he was gonna get kicked in the balls
I mean it’s so obvious, DUH!

Ok, ok, now next me and Dex are gonna Punk my main man Sean Stifler Scott



(cut to a restaurant where Sean is sat eating, Dex approaches him)

Dex: Hey are you Sean Willam Scott?

Sean: Yeah

Dex: uh, now what Kenny?

Kenny: (Peeing in the kitchen)
Give him the bottle

(Kenny Runs into the Restaurant with his weiner hanging out his pants.
He turns to Dex
Kenny: hold this

(Kenny grabs Sean’s Spaghetti and puts it over his head to try and make a wig)
Oh Sean Stiffler I’m your long lost Momma and I’ve looking my whole life for ya.


Sean: Is this some lame attempt for you guys to try and Punk me?


(Kenny Smashes Sean over the head with the JDs bottle, then helps him up and brushes all the broken glass off him then kicks him in the balls)



Kenny: YEAH SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT THAT’S HOW WE DO IT YOU GOT PUNK’D DIPSNITCH, MY SHOW; I’M A GENIUS, LOOK WHAT I DID!

(cuts back to black and white, with Kenny explaining his next Punk'd)

Finally I’m gonna Punk that sweet old lady from Everybody Loves Raymond,
Teen idol Doris Roberts.
I got some dudes to beat on her Lexus with bats, Baseball bats,
oh and I’ve put bear traps where she walks
Heh Heh Heh Heh, Heh, Heh

(cuts to outside the Everybody Loves Raymond Studio)

Dex: Hey Doris Roberts, we Love you Doris

Doris: Thanks Kiddo you’re sweet

OH NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THAT’S MY NEW CAR!


(2 guys begin smashing the Lexus with their baseball bats,
(Doris runs towards the 2 assailants,

STOP PLEASE STOP!
(her foot lands right in one of the bear traps)

PLEASE STO OOH! I’M IN A BEAR TRAP!
OWWWWWW!

(Kenny bursts through the studio doors and runs over to Doris)

Kenny: Ha ha, ha ha, yhat was Awesome, Doris you’re so Punk’d!
Hey, I bet you wish you had that Emmy to help you pry open that bear trap
You shouldda seen the look on your face, AH HAHA HA!

Doris: (managing to struggle out of the trap)
YOU SON OF A BITCH!


(smacks Kenny in the face with a baseball bat, he spits his teeth out)

Kenny: AHHHHH! GOOD ONE DORIS, GREAT PUNK’D,
YOU’RE A NATURAL
HEY, WATCH THIS PUNK’D!

(guzzles some Jack Daniels and then jumps onto both bear traps.
He screams out load in excrutiating pain and nearly cries)

ooooooAAAAAHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHHA THAT’S FUNNY!
KENNY ROGERS PUNK’D
IT’S MY IDEAS, MY SHOW, I CREATED IT,
ME, ME, ME, ME, MY, MY!

(Doris Kicks Kenny in the balls)

Cue Kenny Rogers Punk’d Title Screen



(Kenny walks away with the bear traps clasped onto his ankles)

[elscorcho]

somebody loves kenny rogers

so do i!

[Viper]

Indeed I do

I shall try to type up the transcripts for:

Jackass 2
Kenny Rogers' Half Time Salute
The 1st Cooking with kenny and James

[Viper]

Just to let everyone know I've revised this Sketch Transcript.

Also feel free to check out:

All 4 Paul Timberman Sketches

Celebrity Fear Factor

Real **********ing Talk: Healthcare in the Hood

and I should be finishing Kenny Rogers' Half Time Salute soon

[hellahellalala]

I love all these Kenny Rogers transcripts! And The photos rock.

[Viper]

I'm glad you like them, they're alot of fun to make

Kenny Rogers' Jackass 2 should be available to read soon