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Old 01/18/2005, 4:36 PM
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Pizzotty Male Pizzotty is offline
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That's cool. I've never seen this sketch.


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Old 01/18/2005, 4:22 PM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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Default Music Video: Vancome Lady - It's a Vancome Life (#418)

Nicole Sullivan...................Vancome Lady: Kathy Wajanowski
Aries Spears......................Mase
Rappers and Little Girl........Extras

It's A Vancome Life
Da Blonde Bitch Iz Back
Dir. Ira Sheinstein
Interscope Records

Mase: Yo yo, this is Mase from Harlem. Yo, cut the bass out. Why ya'll got the track so fast? Ya'll know I rhyme slow.

Little Girl: It's a Vancome Life for me. It's a Vancome Life for me. Tcha ya know what? Uh uh! I can't hear ya. La la la. It's a Vancome Life.

Mase: Chillin on the block, with ice on my watch. I'm chillin in all of the real hot spots. That's when I seen her come in the strap-top. Yo, who is this girl? She's the top of the crop. She's a blonde chick, with the pink high heels. I gotta find out if she real, what the deal?

Vancome Lady: (steps out of a pink convertable and begins to rap) I gotta feelin this ain't Kansas no more. I got a question, Mase, why ya always rhyme so slow? It takes a half an hour for you to get started. Are you mentally ill, or just retarded? You got no skill, but you had a lot of luck. When I look at your face I think, what a dumb f***. (stops singing and points at the rappers behind her and speaks to the camera) I know what you're thinking. Get out of here before these two mug me! (the rappers walk away, Vancome Lady speaks to them) I'm just kiddin, kids! Relax! (speaks to the camera) Man, look at me, I'm a white person pretending to be a black rapper. I feel just like Will Smith! (laughs)

Rappers: She's quick with a phrase, her tongue's sharp as a knife.

Vancome Lady: (sings again) Tcha, ya know what? It's a Vancome life!

Little Girl: It's a Vancome life for me. She just can't let things be. Got an insult for everyone. Dissin people, so much fun. It's a Vancome life!

Vancome Lady: (addresses a small group of women standing on some steps, and begins to rap again) Before I forget to mention, let me call to your attention...

Mase: These hoes on the stair...

Vancome Lady: Poster girls for welfare! Shakin it all with your big bubble butt...

Mase: You think you all that...

Vancome Lady and Mase: Tcha...ya know what?

Little Girl: It's a Vancome life for some. Now it's my turn to have fun. You don't have nice clothes or cash. You just some skank white trash. It's a Vancome life.

Vancome Lady: Who's this poser, singin the hook? You're little ass should be home with a book. Don't be like your mama, in the streets ho'in...and stop singing, cuz the s***'s ANNOYIN!

Little Girl: The Vancome life is tired. And guess what skank? You fired!

Vancome Lady: (looks around hesitantly, then speaks to the little girl) Ok! Well, thanks for lettin me rap with you, Bloweesha! (speaks to the women on the stairs) Ladies, good luck finding your babies' daddies. (speaks to rappers) And gentlemen, enjoy prison! Take care!

(Vancome Lady walks away as the sketch ends.)

Last edited by elscorcho; 01/18/2005 at 8:52 PM.
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