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Old 06/16/2004, 7:55 PM
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Default Spishak: Hey It's Ice (#425)

Spishak Spokesman- Pat Kilbane
Husband- Michael McDonald
Wife- Alex Borstein
Daughter- Extra

Spishak Spokesman: (Voiceover) How many times has this happened to you?

Daughter: Hey i pooped a turtle.

Spishak Spokesman: Ok.....but how many times has this happened to you?

Daughter: (Drinks cup) Eeew!

Husband: (Drinks cup) Sweet nancy! What sort of wife are you? This squill is as warm as a tea cosy in a dutch oven (throws cup against the wall). Why didn't you put cubes of ice in my libation?

Wife: Well, i didn't know if it was ice yet. Maybe it's ice now.

Husband: Well maybe it isn't ice now!

Wife: Well, well i'll check (goes over to fridge).

Husband: Is it ice yet?

Daughter: Is it ice yet?

Husband: Is it? Is it ice yet?

Daughter: Is it ice yet?

Husband: Ha? Is it ice? Is it ice yet? Is is honey? Is it ice?

Wife: (Looking at ice tray, scared) I have no way of knowing..

Husband: Oh, i am going to give you such a pinch!

Spishak Spokesman: (Pops up from behind kitchen) Wait stop right there, waiting for ice doesn't have to end in a domestic incident any longer.

Husband: And why is that weisenheimer?

Spishak Spokesman: For trillions of centuries man has enjoyed the delicious taste of ice but has always been plagued by the not knowing if it's ice yet. Well now man shall be knowing with Spishak's new Hey It's Ice home alarm system.

Wife: Well how does it work?

Husband: (Angry) Val sssh! How does it work?

Spishak Spokesman: Well.....(cuts to animation) Tiny silicone sensors are placed inside your ice tray, the sensors then transmit signals via a copper asbestos alloy to an electromagnetic satellite dish installed in your kitchen, that dish then beams data to another satellite dish installed in your front yard, that dish then beams data to a giant receiving institution installed on your roof, which relays ice readiness signals to Spishcom satellite four located in outer space, which is monitored by highly trained Spishak ice technicans back on earth. When your ice is ready the information chain will set off an alarm within your home.

(Cuts back to kitchen, where there is a loud buzzing and the room is shaking)


Daughter: (Screams)

Spishak Spokesman: And Hey It's Ice is available for just pennies a day, 7945 pennies to be exact. Your credit card will also be charged a monthly maintenance fee of 4995 pennies. Hey It's Ice, because to know it's ice is pricelessly nice!

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