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Old 08/10/2009, 11:47 PM
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Default Episode S02E08: Franks for the Memories (Aired 2008-12-09)

Where are They Now?
Insider Entertainment with Pat O'Brien (Frank Caliendo) looks back at some of the most famous video game stars of the 80's and wonders, Where are They Now? First up is Pac man, who now lives a subtle life in Miami, Florida, entertaining Asian teens on a Pac man machine in Japanese town. Donkey Kong enjoyed large stardom from the game Donkey Kong, but after Mario and Luigi broke off from the game to reach synonymous fame, Donkey Kong fell into obscurity. In regards to his relationship with Princess Peach, Peach has set up a restraining order after he sent her pornographic pictures in the mail. Frogger, now paralyzed due to a mishap with a truck in 1992, now teaches traffic safety in Florida. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Pat O'Brien)

Oscar Acceptance Speeches
Frank TV shows what it would be like if low, never in Hell would ever win an Oscar actors, like Vince Vaughn (Mike MacRae), Jennifer Aniston (Melissa McQueen), Will Smith (Freddy Lockhart), Russell Crowe (Mike MacRae), Samuel Jackson (Freddy Lockhart) actually won an Oscar and had to give an acceptance speech. For instance, Russell would fight people, and Samuel would complain about how it's about time that he won an Oscar since he has been in more movies than anyone imaginable. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and outro performed by Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Mike MacRae (Vince Vaughn, Russell Crowe), Melissa McQueen (Jennifer Aniston), Annabelle Milne (Angelina Jolie), Freddy Lockhart (Will Smith, Samuel Jackson)

William Shatner (Frank Caliendo) is at The Comic Expo when he is upstaged by Ian McKellen (Mike MacRae) who has come in full Gandalf attire from his character in The Lord of the Rings series. To get his status back, William gets in his season 1 Star Trek uniform, and gets in a war with Ian over their pasts appearances. Ian is clearly more beloved, with his roles in The Lord of the Rings, and X-Men, so William pulls out the big guns. A book of the breasts of all the aliens that were on Star Trek. The fanboys all crowd around him. Ian has had it with William's upstaging, and challenges him to a battle to the death. As they grow tired of fighting, they notice that there fanboys are gone. They realise that they are all crowded around Harrison Ford (Mike MacRae) who has come in full Indiana Jones attire. Angry, William and Ian go to the parking lot to key William's car. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (William Shatner), Brenden Hay [Frank TV Writer] (Fanboy #2), Mike MacRae (Ian McKellen, Harrison Ford)

Jim Rome in Blooming
Jim Rome (Frank Caliendo) the enigmatic sports personality has decided to try and get a more diverse audience. So he has created his own lifestyle show called Jim Rome in Blooming in which he guides people through the world of arts and crafts, and shows how he's better than everyone at doing them. His guest today is one of the most dominate players in the National Basketball Association, Shaquille O'Neal (Isaac Singleton), who has brought by his scrapbook, which Jim thinks is just atrocious. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Jim Rome), Isaac Singleton (Shaquille O'Neal)

Things Robert De Niro Would Never Say
Robert De Niro talks about The World of Warcraft. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Robert De Niro)

60 Million Years of Andy Rooney
Frank TV shows when they think Andy Rooney (Frank Caliendo) got started in news. They think it may have been in the prehistoric era. In it, Andy talks about fire, the night, and the new technology of the day like the wheel. The screen then goes into Andy Rooney's office, where Andy is watching. He says that he is tired of Frank always using the fact that he's old, and says that he has many other qualities, like the fact that he's a racist, hates women, and has really bushy eyebrows. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Andy Rooney)

What if Al Pacino had Taken it #1
On Wikipedia, it says that Al Pacino (Frank Caliendo) turned down roles like Han Solo in Star Wars, Paul Sheldon in Misery, and Edward Lewis in Pretty Woman. What would it have been like if he actually got the roles in those films. In all the movies, he would keep asking if he was playing a dirty cop, and would act like a dirty cop. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Pacino: Han Solo, Paul Sheldon, Edward Lewis), Michaela Watkins (Julia Roberts: Vivian Ward)

Caliendo Squares: Phil McGraw
Phil McGraw (Frank Caliendo) has been chosen in Caliendo Squares. His question is "What process named for a famous French chemist makes milk go sour?" Phil thinks that Frank should find the questions himself, and not rely on a one question a week game show to get the answers for him. When Frank asks if he knows the answer, he says no, and that he was just stalling.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Phil McGraw)
Archival Footage Frank Caliendo (Charles Barkley, James Gandolfini, Donald Trump, William Shatner, Paul Shaffer, David Letterman, Pat O'Brien, Jack Nicholson)

Come to New Jersey
James Gandolfini (Frank Caliendo) does some promotional ads for the state of New Jersey, but while trying to talk about the states prestige beaches, and beautiful parks, he keeps getting interrupted by trucks, airplanes, a garbage man (Mike MacRae), and dogs. He eventually gets so fed up, that he just tells people not to come to New Jersey. [Intro and outro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (James Gandolfini), Mike MacRae (Garbage Man)

What if Al Pacino had Taken it #2
Han Solo is talking to Obi Wan Kenobi (Mike MacRae). Obi asks Han if his ship is fast. Han is insulted, because his ship is the fastest in the fleet, and can get to the edge of the universe in 12 parsecs, but he'll do it in 10, because he's a dirty cop. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Pacino: Han Solo), Mike MacRae (Alec Guiness: Obi Wan Kenobi)


  • Frank Caliendo (0A/22S/-W/8AF)
  • Freddy Lockhart (0A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Mike MacRae (2A/4S/0W/0AF)

Guest Starring
  • Brenden Hay (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Melissa McQueen (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Annabelle Milne (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Isaac Singleton (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Michaela Watkins (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 08/15/2009 at 3:36 AM.
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