Go Back   Planet MADtv > Our Database > MADtv Repository > MADtv Transcripts
Register Members List Mark Forums Read


Thread Tools
Old 03/22/2009, 2:29 PM
tvmanismadformad's Avatar
tvmanismadformad Male tvmanismadformad is offline
It's gonna happen
Contributing Editor
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,751
Default MADtv: The Best of Michael McDonald Wraparounds (#1413)


Announcer (Never-Seen: Bill Vogel
Kathy Griffin: Herself
Michael McDonald: Himself


(When something is in brackets and is italicized, that means that it is a descriptive moment).


Reruns not included.


Announcer: Tonight, the best of Michael McDonald (MADtv stage). And now Ms. Kathy Griffin.

(Kathy comes on stage).

Kathy Griffin: Welcome, welcome, welcome. You guys came on a fantastic night because we’re celebrating the best of Mike McDonald. Yes, yes. Mike is an old friend of mine, and were gonna look at some of his best work, and I'm going to talk about him as if he's dead. So um, I have a couple stories about him. Number 1, I made out with him 1 time. What happened was um, we were out late you know, I don't know what. Goofin around, and then I said "I want you to kiss me. And sure enough he bent me over the hood of a car like, it was like an assault frankly. And he kissed me. And um, I had to go to the doctor like 4 times after that but it was worth it. Because it's passion. It's passion that I'm after. But anyway as you know, he's created such memorable characters and he's so brilliant, so it really is my pleasure and my honour to introduce the best of Mike McDonald. Let's start the show (cut). Alright so you guys know that Mike has been on the show for 10 seasons, and because you watch it, because I know your fans, you know that Mike has a little bit of a dark side. Right? You know there's something wrong with him. So take a look at the dark side of Mike McDonald (cut. Sean Gidcomb: Supply Closet from episode #1007 is shown). You know guys, what makes Mike so funny is that he has been doing this for a while, and when we were in the Groundlings together he started creating some of his hilarious characters, and it's really exciting for me to then be able to see them on TV, and one of my favourites is a little character called (Kathy waits to see if the audience will get it) Stuart! Come on! I don't know if you know this but Mike and I actually went uh to Iraq together to entertain the troops in Bagdad, and Tegrait (the audience starts to cheer). Uh, yeah. Yes. Everywhere we went they kept saying "do Stuart, do Stuart", and sure enough he did it for all the troops and of course they loved it and they just were like. You know I think they liked it so much they shot a few more insurgence that night. It was really (audience reacts in shock). Oh I shocked the MADtv audience. I'm sure. But anyway. You know him, you love him, so let's take a look at one of our favourite Stuart clips. Alright you guys. You earned it. You're very own Mike McDonald!

(Michael comes out and hugs Kathy).

Michael McDonald: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Kathy Griffin: Alright, tell them about what inspired Stuart.

Michael McDonald: I use to teach kindergarten. Which I think now is outlawed.

Kathy Griffin: Inappropriate.

Michael McDonald: And uh.

Kathy Griffin: Inappropriate.

Michael McDonald: and uh, so I had a lot of experience with little kids, and my mom. My mom will deny it to this day but she is pretty much just part and parcel like verbatim Stuart's mom. Like certain. Certain lines are like direct quotes.

Kathy Griffin: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas from the McDonald. That would be great. Now tell me. It must have been hard for you, getting canned last year after 10 years on the show. Was that a tough day for you to get that call?

Michael McDonald: Well it was.

Kathy Griffin: You know what I heard. I heard you were canned because you were "difficult".

Michael McDonald: You know. The irony is.

Kathy Griffin: Oh, I can tell that this is when you're getting warmed up. Look

Michael McDonald: What do you mean?

Kathy Griffin: I can tell you're getting your arsenal

Michael McDonald: No, no, no. Not at all. It's just I wanted you to know.

Kathy Griffin: Ok, I know this facade. This sweet "I love you. I'm your friend".

Michael McDonald: What I wanted everyone to know about Kathy Griffin the. She has many wonderful qualities. She's had them for hundreds of years.

Kathy Griffin (Silently): Son of a bitch! I just want you to know. I just want you to know that he wants me to take him to, like an expensive restaurant.

Michael McDonald: I do. It's true.

Kathy Griffin: And I've already called the paparazzi. So if they show up, it's a big surprise. But he already told me that I have to just pay.

Michael McDonald: But what I like is that you’re going to. And it's all been recorded.

Kathy Griffin: Well I'm pressured. You know why, because I love it when you do that Stuart character.

Michael McDonald (in Stuart's Voice): Don't (regular voice)! There you go. There you go.

Kathy Griffin: See. Alright well I'll leave you on your way. Give this man the respect he deserves.

(Kathy leaves stage left).

Michael McDonald: Kathy Griffin ladies and gentlemen! Give that man the respect she deserves! Um no. I just wanted to come out very briefly and say thank you all very much for all of you who came out here to watch this little dog and pony show and uh, uh I had a great time doing it for 10 years and uh, I was lucky enough to get on a show that had already been around and, I got a chance to kind of learn from everybody else ba who was here before me, and uh, I haven't been here this season but I've been enjoying watching all the kids that have come after this. But most importantly I wanted to thank all of you the fans. Thank you very much for putting up with my crazy antics, and my ugly wigs, and characters and so thank you very much. I had a great time doing it.

(Kathy back on stage).

Kathy Griffin: Mike McDonald everybody! Mike McDonald!

Michael McDonald: Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you for driving. Thank you for watching.

Kathy Griffin: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This guys great. You know it. You love him.

Michael McDonald: Oh, I just realized something. Kathy, Kathy your ride is here. Hold on one second. Hold on.

Kathy Griffin: You know that thing when you know someone too well?

(Michael rolls out a wheelchair).

Michael McDonald: Kathy Griffin ladies and gentlemen!

(Michael rolls Kathy out. End).


Rise from the Dead!

Planet MADtv (August 28th 2002- August 28th 2009, August 28th 2010)
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
[MADtv] Michael McDonald Miss Information MADtv Cast Members 501 02/17/2011 3:22 PM
[MADtv] MADtv: Best of Sexy, Dirty, Politics Wraparounds (#1404) tvmanismadformad MADtv Transcripts 0 04/11/2009 1:02 AM
[MADtv] Michael McDonald (Season 13 Fox MADtv Interview) tvmanismadformad Appearance Transcripts 0 03/19/2009 5:22 AM
[MADtv] Is Michael McDonald um...gay?? madtvlover General Discussion 10 07/29/2004 6:32 PM
[MADtv] Michael McDonald's B-day! MikeMcDonaldGrl General Discussion 15 01/04/2003 7:05 PM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:20 AM.