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Old 08/25/2005, 3:16 AM
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Hawt bytch
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Location: Rensselaer, NY
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Default An Elizabeth Smart Christmas (#911)

Elizabeth Smart- Nicole Parker
Ed Smart- Michael McDonald
Lois Smart- Stephnie Weir
Diane Sawyer- Mo
Tom Brokaw- Frank Caliendo
Ed Bradley- Jordan Peele
Jessica Lynch- Melissa Paull

(View of Christmas oriented objects)

Announcer: This Christmas Eve, it’s the holiday event of the year. A special so big, no one network could carry it. NBC

(NBC logo pops up)

Announcer: CBS

(CBS logo pops up)

Announcer: ABC

(ABC logo pops up)

Announcer: FOX

(FOX logo pops up)

Announcer: ESPN 2

(ESPN 2 logo pops up)

Announcer: And the Food Channel

(Food Channel logo pops up)

Announcer: …proudly present “An Elizabeth Smart Christmas” starring America’s favorite kidnapped Mormon, Elizabeth Smart and her parents, Ed and Lois.

Ed: Hi everybody. Just when you thought we were gone, we’re back, and we’re here to help to celebrate the holidays.

Lois: And we’re also here to celebrate the release of our first book, “Bringing Elizabeth Home,” Our Second book, “After Elizabeth Was Brought Home,” And our third book, “Elizabeth’s Favorite Taco Recipes”

Ed: She’s just a normal girl and we’re a normal family. Right, Elizabeth?

(Elizabeth begins to speak, but the camera buts away) (The family is sitting on a sled on fake snow, while Diane, Ed Bradley, and Tom are on another sled)

Announcer: Joining Elizabeth are Diane Sawyer, Tom Brokaw, and Ed Bradley.

All: (on sleds) Weeee.

Ed Bradley: Next stop, the North Pole.

All: YAY!

Ed: Wait, but first, Elizabeth would like to give each of you a copy of her new CBS telepicture… (looks into camera)

Available at all Blockbuster and Best Buy’s. Show them, honey.

(Elizabeth holds up DVD)

Lois: And she’s the one who wants you to buy them, not us. This was all her idea, right here. (points to Elizabeth) Right here. Right Elizabeth?

(Elizabeth is about to speak, when the camera cuts away) (All are standing around a decorated Christmas Tree)

Announcer: “America can’t get enough of Elizabeth Smart! It’s like she’s married to all of us!” raves Paul Moyer of KNBC

(All stand around a snow man)

Diane: Here’s a couple pieces of coal for his eyes. (puts coal on the snow man)

Ed Bradley: Speaking of coal, I know who’s getting a lump of coal this Christmas… that Looney Tunes who kidnapped you.

Tom: I’d like to stick my boot up his butt!

Ed: Uhh, now now. This isn’t a time for talking. This is a time for giving. And what we’d like to give all of you, is the taste of the new Elizabeth Smart Sport Quencher. (holds up water bottle with Elizabeth’s face on it)

Lois: It’s like Red Bull. It keeps you alert when you’re on the run.

Tom: What a delicious idea!

Ed: And it was all Elizabeth’s idea, not ours.

Lois: We would never exploit Elizabeth. (smile)

Right. It’s her idea.

Ed: It’s this one right here.

Lois: Right honey?

(Elizabeth is about to speak then the cameras cut away) (All are now inside near a piano)

Announcer: And it wouldn’t be Christmas without a special surprise visitor.

(Doorbell rings)

Ed Bradley: Oh, I wonder who that could be.

(Jessica opens door with book)

Announcer: Jessica Lynch, that’s who!

(Jessica walks in)

Announcer: Join Jessica and Elizabeth as they sing a Christmas melody and select songs from the producers.

Ed: And they love to sing. Right, Elizabeth?

(Elizabeth pauses and begins to speak but camera cuts away)

Announcer: An Elizabeth Smart Christmas. 3-D glasses available at 7-11!! Buy and Elizabeth Smart Happy Meal and get 2 free passes to “The Cat And The Hat”


Selena Luna = Best. Castmember. Ever.

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 07/27/2009 at 2:42 AM. Reason: Pictures Reformatted
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