[MADtv] American Political Idol (#907)

[BlondieFan]

Howard Dean(HD)-Ike
Al Roker(AR)-Keedan
Paula Zahn(PZ)-Gillian
Bill O'Reilly(BOR)-himself
John Edwards(JE)-Ron
Hilary Clinton(HC)-Nicole
John Kerry(JK)-Michael
George Bush(GB)-Frank
Clay Aiken(CA)-Ron
Narrator(N)

N:It’s that time of year again.When thousands of fresh faced hopefuls put everything on the line to win america’s vote.This is American political idol.It’s down to the finals,some of our contestants have already folded under the pressure.

(Caption:Howard Dean:Lunitic)

HD:I just want to say although I’m no longer activily campaining I’m still a buyable canadate for the presidentcy Because(starts singing)she bang she bang oh baby I move I move I’m the governer from Vermont gonna bring a mission to the white house and the people yeah yeah(continues to sing)

N: Perhaps he was intimidated by our judges(cuts to judges)American Idol has randy Jackson,our formly fat black guy is the today show’s Al Roker (Caption say Al Roker:Current weatherman,formerweather blimp)We even found a pretty Paula(cnn’s Paula Zahn:She’s a little bit sexy)And finally what judge’s panel is complete without a tough S.O.B.They have simon Cowell,we have bill O’reilly(Bill O’Reilly:Straight Shooter and Marking Fiend.Go on his website and buy his stuff-now)

JE: (John Edwards:Southern Charmer)Hey y’all I have a vision for America where everyone gets health care and everyone gets an education.

BOR:Thank you senader Kerry

JE:Actually I’m senader Edwards

BOR:Uh yeah sure you see with what everybody says how do we tell the difference I mean do you have anything for us at all here?

(Edwards pauses)

BOR: Paula you got anything for this guy?

PZ:No he’s cute that’s all good enough

BOR: Paula Health care Paula.everybody’s for health care I’m for health care

PZ: Really?Kiss me

BOR:No.No.Germs.Here here’s a copy of my new book who’s looking out for you

PZ:Thank you

BOR:Yeah.Al you got anything for this guy?

AR:I liked everything he said,I mean,but of course I’m black so I have to vote demacradic because it’s the law

JE:I promise if I become the next American political idol everyone in America will get …a puppy

N:The competesion really heated up when an unanoced canidate took the stage

(Hilary Clinton enters)

BOR: Senater Clinton I’m really happy you’re here is it true mam that you want the demicrats to lose this year so you can be elected president in 2008

HC: Oh that’s crazy a conspericy of that level would require the mind of an evil genius

(Hilary Clinton:Evil genius(Hilary’s eyes glow red and she smiles eviliy))

BOR:Would you mind just answering a few more questions before you leave

HC:I don’t have time I miss my husband(Laughs)

JK: (John Kerry: Democratic front runner and living corpse)I was a hero in a war I did things in a war that were heroic sometimes the droning of my voice doesn’t stop until somebody slaps me on the back I

(Bill slaps John on the back)

JK:That’s much better thank you bill reminds me of something I did to somebody one time when I was in the veitnam war and I was a war hero

AR:O’reilly do something I can’t take another one of his war stories

BOR:Senader Kerry how close are you to senader Kendey in politics

JK:Senader Kenadey and I go way back almost as way back as the veitnam war were I was a war hero I did something heroic during the war which gave me the title war hero

AR:We know we know

JK:But did you know that during the veitnam war(bill o’reilly is signing autographs)I did something heroic that is still talked about today by people such as myself

N:It looks like our judges are gonna have a hard time picking a new leader out of this pack of losers hey just for fun let’s take another look at who they’re running against

GB: (George Bush:Our elected leader)And that’s how I plan to stop nucler weapons Nu a hold on Nu nu nu cl er you know what I mean

BOR:Mr. President in this time of jury you eregulated the border by granting illegal atmistey does this fiddle around with the nation’s sercurity by blate attept by you sir to get the latino vote?

GB:I like you O’Reilly you don’t let me get away with anything.You wanna play a round of golf?

BOR:No sir I do not, I want you to answer the question

GB:No paido that means I don’t have to in Spanish, I’m the president El President

BOR:Well folks there you have it this country is in big trouble unless we can get some straight and honest answers from the rich and powerful until that time there’s only three things we can do,buy my books,watch the factor on t.v,and my chose for the American political idol is…take it away Clay.

CA: (Clay Aiken:Mommy’s boy and millionaire)Hey hansome(singing)Oh beautiful for spacious skies for amber waves of gray,for purple mountains majesty above the fruited plain….

(George Bush knocks clay off-stage)

GB:I’m a Ruben Studdard fan.

*I’m just gonna skip to the end of the show*

CA:America America God shed his face on the and crown the good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea(holds e note till end)


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