Go Back   Planet MADtv > Our Database > MADtv Repository > MADtv Transcripts
Register Members List Mark Forums Read


Thread Tools
Old 10/17/2004, 10:28 AM
MJB12's Avatar
MJB12 Male MJB12 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Centennial, CO
Posts: 1,590
Default Angela and Natalie Stalk the President (#1001)

Sketch length - 4:12

Angela Wright.................STEPHNIE WEIR
Natalie............................PAUL VOGT
Man.................................BOBBY LEE
Secret Service Agents.....IKE BARINHOLTZ

ANGELA: Hi, this is Angela Wright, eighth grader at Boyd Junior High School, and directly behind me, practicing his golf swing, is George W. Bush - president of the United Mistakes.

NATALIE (behind camera): Hey, look at that squirrel. He's so mad...someone stole his nut.

ANGELA: Natalie, you have to stay focused on me! This is an historic moment. You are about to witness the president signing this legal and binding document that says "Angela Wright is exonerated from all social studies projects, and by law must receive an A+ in the class".

NATALIE: How do you know he's going to sign it?

ANGELA: Natalie, are you kidding me? How do you think his daughters finished high school?

MAN: Excuse me, I don't think you're allowed to cross this barricade.

ANGELA: Oh, gee, how Republican of you. Okay, Natalie, stay focused on me. Don't get distracted by the squirrel.

NATALIE: I'll try...there's so many out today. Each with their own quirky personality.

Angela runs down the side of the hill towards Bush, but is tackled by two Secret Service agents.


Angela is reset behind the barricade.

SECRET AGENT IKE: Don't cross the barricade, don't cross it again!

ANGELA: Geez, don't you think they take their jobs a little too seriously. I mean, come on, it's George Bush, not Jessica Simpson.

MAN: I told you so.

ANGELA: I got...I got an idea!

NATALIE: You're going to write the report?

ANGELA: No, better. You are going to block the security guys, while I rush to the President. Sir, would you record us, please?

MAN: Love to.


Natalie and Angela are joined, side by side.

ANGELA: I lost my pen...I need another pen.

NATALIE: I don't have a pen, but I do have my...DynaWrite Magic Marker.

ANGELA: Oh, I love these things. So much ink...

BOTH: It'll blow your mind!

ANGELA: Alright, let's do this, Natalie! Come on!

Angela climbs over.

NATALIE: I'm going to go around.

ANGELA: Okay, just block me, Natalie. We have to get this signed. Just block me, just block me, here they come.

Secret Service agents run towards them, but Natalie blocks Angela. They try to go around, and Angela weaves through them. An agent runs for Natalie.

NATALIE: I'm Canadian, I'm Canadian!

Angela gives up on running and throws the dynamite shaped marker and notebook towards Bush. Thinking it's a bomb, one of the agents jumps for it.


He realizes it isn't a bomb, and goes to tackle Angela.

ANGELA: No child left behind!


Angela, Natalie, and the man are now sitting in a dark van. They're all crying.

ANGELA: I'm so scared, this is all my fault.

NATALIE: They put us in a van!

MAN: Where are they taking us?

ANGELA: I just wish I had done the stupid report...I wish I could turn back time!

The van screeches to a halt.

NATALIE & MAN: We stopped!

ANGELA: Omigod, omigod!


They are walking outside again.

ANGELA: They dropped us off like a block away, like we're not going to walk right back.

NATALIE: Why don't you just write the report?

ANGELA: Because Natalie, a lazy man works twice as hard.

NATALIE: Hey, look at all the squirrels. (camera turns) Oh my gosh, they all hid when you turned around.

MAN: I think they want those nuts.

NATALIE: Why, when the biggest nut in the world is practicing his golf swing 50 feet away.

The camera turns back, where two agents have wound up behind Angela and Natalie. They scream.

SECRET AGENT RON: Let's turn this off.


ANGELA: We're back in the van. Why didn't I just go home when I had the chance? We're all going to die because I'm so stupid!

NATALIE: I don't know about that, those squirrels looked like they were going to kill us anyway.

ANGELA: Please god, just give me one more chance--(van stops) Ohmigod! Ohmigod!!!


ANGELA: Shame on me for doing it once, shame on them for dropping us off in the exact same--

She is tackled by one of the agents again. Natalie doesn't realize this right away, but is then chased towards the camera by another agent.


They're back in the van.

ANGELA: I want to apologize to Natalie's mom, and to this guy's family...because I'm so stupid. Oh, I'm so scared...

A squirrel pops up. They scream.


Everyone is outside, including the agents, who are being attacked by squirrels.

ANGELA: Oh, my god! We're being attacked by squirrels! Mrs. Rogers, I'm going to need more time to do this report!

A squirrel pops in front of the camera, which goes to static.

Member of Caity's Sig Posse

Last edited by MJB12; 11/27/2004 at 5:44 PM.
Reply With Quote

Old 10/17/2004, 5:02 PM
Dartanian's Avatar
Dartanian Male Dartanian is offline
Darth Tater
Staff Alumnus
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Auckland
Posts: 4,606
Mrs. Rogers. Angela goes to Boyd Junior High School, but sometimes it sounds like "Bouie".

What happened to Andrae?
Reply With Quote
Old 10/17/2004, 5:26 PM
Princess PeachC's Avatar
Princess PeachC Male Princess PeachC is offline
Lurking around the corner
Staff Alumnus
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Behind you...
Posts: 2,112
I am glad that you did this transcript, this one of my favorite sketches, its hilarious!
Reply With Quote
Old 10/18/2004, 7:24 PM
MJB12's Avatar
MJB12 Male MJB12 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Centennial, CO
Posts: 1,590
Thanks, Jim.

Member of Caity's Sig Posse
Reply With Quote
Old 11/27/2004, 2:17 PM
Devin Male Devin is offline
Hardcore Fan
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,556
I like when she is in the car and is like

"I am so scared"
Reply With Quote
Old 03/15/2005, 6:50 PM
Steph Weir Fan's Avatar
Steph Weir Fan Female Steph Weir Fan is offline
.::Shame on you::.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Posts: 273
OMG...thanx for the transcript...i luv this Angela..my total favorite!!!

I thought it was so funny when they kept going back and getting tackled by the secret service...I lol through the whole skit

:heart: ~Stephnie Weir + Michael McDonald + Mo Collins + Josh Meyers~ :heart:

"It's not about molding yourself into the person you admire, but rather following their lead in finding and embracing your own unique voice."
~Stephnie Weir
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
[MADtv] Natalie Merchant Miss Information MADtv Impressions 0 07/10/2009 12:27 AM
[MADtv] Natalie Schafer Miss Information MADtv Impressions 0 07/08/2009 6:06 AM
[MADtv] Natalie Maines Miss Information MADtv Impressions 0 12/15/2008 7:50 PM
[MADtv] Drunk President (#210) KayceeJ MADtv Transcripts 3 05/06/2005 3:16 PM
[MADtv] Jello Shots (#1001) MJB12 MADtv Transcripts 3 01/30/2005 6:13 PM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 4:57 AM.