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Old 12/17/2004, 5:43 AM
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Default 50's Diner (#803)

50s Diner, Episode 803

Rocco - Ike Barinholtz
Man - Michael McDonald
Woman - Mo Collins
Will - Aries Spears
Beverly - Debra Wilson
Bobbi-Jean - Stephnie Weir
Milton - Josh Meyers

(Rock n roll music plays in the background of a 50s-themed diner, a man and woman enter)

Rocco: Hey, welcome to the 50s diner. I'm Rocco, what can I do for you's two?

Man: Actually, we need a table for four. We're meeting another couple here.

Rocco: Right this way, a couple of cool cats like you deserve the best seat in the joint. (laughs) Have a seat.

(The couple sit on one side of the table)

Rocco: Hey, anything else you need you ask for Rocco. Ayyy.

(Man and woman laugh)

Man: Isn't this place a riot?

Woman: Oh yeah, it must have been such a blast to live in the 50s with all the wacky characters.

Man: I know, I know.

(Will and Beverly enter the diner)

Man: There's Will and Beverly. Will, Beverly! We're right over here!

Beverly: Hey, hey. (Will and Beverly sit down) Wow, this place is wild.

Man: Yeah, isn't it?

Woman: I can't believe you guys haven't been here before, it's so much fun.

(A waitress with a huge beehive hairdo approaches them on rollerskates)

Bobbi-Jean: Hey there, I'm Bobbi-Jean, I'm your waitress. So what you drinkin'? (points to the man) You first sugar.

Man: Well -

Bobbi-Jean: Oh wait a minute. (takes gum from her mouth and puts it behind her ear, the man and woman laugh)

Bobbi-Jean: Alright, so what's it gonna be. I ain't got all day.

Man: I'm gonna have a, uh, Coke.

Woman: Diet Coke for me.

Bobbi-Jean: (writing down their orders) Alrighty. (she turns to go back to the kitchen)

Will: Uh, uh miss, you forgot to take our orders.

Beverly: Yeah, and we need some menus please.

Bobbi-Jean: Oh, that ain't gonna be happening dark stuff. (Points to a sign saying NO COLOREDS)

Beverly: (to the man and woman) Wait a minute, wait a minute. That's crazy.

Will: Did you guys see that, it said 'no coloreds'. I mean, what is that all about?

Man: I dunno, it's supposed to be the 50s, so you know. (laughs)

Woman: Just, you know, I don't know, roll with it. See what happens!

(the man and woman both laugh)

Will: Well we're not gonna roll with it, okay. This is totally unacceptable.

(The waitress skates back to their table with the drinks)

Bobbi-Jean: Alright there you go. Alright you folks had a chance to look at the menu?

Will: Uh, no, thanks to you.

Bobbi-Jean: I wasn't talking to you brownie.

Will: What'd you just call me?

Beverly: Wait a minute. I know you didn't just call him brownie, marshmallow!

(Manager approaches table)

Milton: Hold on, hold on. I'm Milton the manager. What seems to be the problem?

Bobbi-Jean: Well, I was just servin' drinks here and then ooga-booga started here with -

Beverly: What?!

Woman: They're just, they're having trouble getting into the spirit, you know. They're a little sensitive.

Beverly: (laughs angrily) Why don't I take you outside and show you a little sensitive.

(The woman shrugs at her as if Beverly's overreacting)

Milton: I see, this is a total misunderstanding. Please accept our apology. It's just, this being a 50s diner and all, sometimes we just get a little carried away.

Will: Alright, go ahead man.

Beverly: Fine.

Milton: Okay, so you two negroes are just gonna have to move along.

Beverly: What!

Will: (standing up) Let me tell you something man, we ain't going nowhere, alright. We demand some respect and we gonna stand here till somebody get us some food.

Milton: A sit-in, that's what you want huh? Well if you guys insist on staying here I'm going to have to follow what's in the policy manual.

Will: Yeah well you do that, cause we know our rights.

Beverly: That's right.

Milton: Okey dokey McSkokie.

Bobbi-Jean: Ooooh, oh boy a sit-in.

(Milton, Rocco and Bobbi-Jean return to the kitchen)

Man: Would you guys just lighten up? I mean, it's, it's their theme. Can't you just go along with it?

Woman: Yeah. You're really kind of making a federal case out of it.

Beverly: That's because it was a federal case stupid.

(Rocco and Milton emerge from the kitchen with a large hose)

Rocco: Water!

Will: (stands up) Oh hell no. Uhuh, woah. You know, this is a bunch of bull. This might be a theme restaurant, but your theme sucks. This is the 21st century man, you can't treat people that way. It's illegal. Besides, one phone call from me and I have Johnny Cochran up in your ass.

Beverly: (getting up) You know what, I've had enough of the 50s. (points at the woman) I'm a crack your ass like an egg later.

Will: You know what, in ten years I'm a come back here with the Black Panthers and we gonna burn this mother down.

Milton: That's a threat. You can't threaten me like that.

Will: Yeah, you damn right it's a threat, and I'll tell you something else too. For somebody that likes the 50s, let me show you a little bit of something I saw on I Love Lucy.

(Will picks up a cream pie from Bobbi-Jean's tray and shoves it into Milton's face, he and Beverly then leave)

(The man and woman look shocked)

Man: Well that was weird.

Woman: You know I don't remember the blacks being so angry in the 50s. I'm so glad things have changed.

(The woman takes a sip from her glass)

Woman: Excuse me, is this a Diet Coke?

(Waitress skates to the table)

Bobbi-Jean: Oh sorry, it's regular. This is the 50s, they didn't have diet.

Woman: Ew, ew. Oh, I don't know if I want to eat here, no Diet Coke. (the man and woman get up to leave) Guess the 50s weren't as great as I thought they were.

Man: No. You said it. Hey, I tell you what, why don't we go eat at Sambos?

(they exit the restaurant)

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