[MADtv] 7AM Condo Report (#902)

[MJB12]

7AM Condo Report (#902)

Clifford Bussly......................RON PEDERSON
Muriel Westig........................STEPHNIE WEIR
Agnes Penmonte....................MO COLLINS
Jelly Mae Jackson..................DANIELE GAITHER
Nurse.....................................PAUL VOGT

7AM Condo Report

CLIFFORD (waking up): Hello, fellow condo owners. I’m Clifford Bussly, unit 6451. And with me is the fetching Muriel Westig.

MURIEL: Unit 4325, the corner apartment. And this is the Boca Grove condominium report. So, Clifford, it’s 7AM, what did you do today?

CLIFFORD: I got up at 4AM.

MURIEL: Oh, you slept in!

CLIFFORD: Then I shook my fist at the radio, and I yelled at the newspaper, and then it was time for my 5AM nap. What did you do today, Muriel?

MURIEL: I went through my rubber bands drawer and had an untangling party!

Her left side of her body begins to freeze up.

CLIFFORD: What’s wrong, Muriel?

MURIEL: I’m having a mild...st-stroke.

CLIFFORD: Are you going to be alright?

MURIEL: I’m fine, I’m fine, it happens all the time. I just have to work...oh, not today-Lord!

She pushes herself through the stroke with a smile on her face.

MURIEL: Ok, I’m fine, back on track. Our first guest today is Agnes Penmonte, and recently something amazing happened to her.

The nurse brings in a quivering Agnes, who is set down in the guest chair. She is grasping onto a phone.

CLIFFORD: Morning, Agnes. What amazing thing...happened to you?

AGNES: I got a phone call from my grandson.

MURIEL: Oh, Agnes! What was it like? Walk us through it moment by moment.

AGNES: Well...he said he would call at noon so I started waiting by the phone at six.

MURIEL: Oh, yeah, you don’t want to miss the call.

CLIFFORD: Or have the answering machine pick up. They always pick up so fast!

He slams his hands down on the wheel of his motorized scooter, which begins to move and goes in a circle around the room.

MURIEL: Oh, Agnes, what was it like? What did you talk about?

AGNES: Well...we talked about my night terrors, and...my day terrors, and...the aliens that live in my knitting basket.

MURIEL: What else?

AGNES: Well, he said he couldn’t talk, because he was grocery shopping on his...cell phone.

CLIFFORD: Oh, I hate those god forsaken cell phones!

He hits the power again, and his scooter goes back a few feet, almost knocking Muriel’s chair over. He moves forward, but ends up driving himself out of the room.

MURIEL: Oh, Agnes-

She is interrupted. Through the open door in the back of the room, we can see Clifford struggling with his scooter, crashing into a wall. The nurse tries to help him. Mo tries to hide her laughter by covering her face with her sweater.

MURIEL: Oh, Agnes...

Muriel begins to have another stroke.

MURIEL: No, no, I can do this...I’ve got the power...ooooh!

She comes out of the stroke, smiling. Clifford steers himself back.

CLIFFORD: Thanks for being on the show, Agnes. (nurse helps her out) Next is the entertainment report from Ms. Jelly Mae Jackson from units 3269.

Jelly Mae enters from behind, but instead of sitting near them, she accidentally sits in a chair further behind them. She begins to talk.

JELLY MAE (faint): I tell you, I don’t need no cable-

While Clifford has fallen asleep, Muriel is puzzled by where the mysterious voice is coming from. She begins to look around the room, and finally realizes where Jelly Mae is. She signals for her, but Jelly Mae doesn’t pay attention. Muriel has another stroke, causing her to wiggle in her seat uncomfortably. She gets Clifford’s attention.

MURIEL: Oh, Clifford. I need you to take the outro, I’m-

CLIFFORD: Coming up is the lunch menu. I hope we’re not having Chicken Ã* la crap!

He hits his scooter again, and it begins to wheel around the room, almost knocking the nurse and Agnes over.

[MJB12]

Remember that this sketch really requires a viewing because there's a lot of physical comedy that cannot be transcribed well, and that humor also comes from the appearance and voices of the characters. Pictures will be added soon.

[KayceeJ]

omg i loved this sketch! When Jelly Mae sat in the wrong seat...that was hilarious!

[Steph Weir Fan]

was steph's chair soposed to tip over like that???....or was that intended???

just wasnt sure about that

[Pizzotty]

Originally posted by Steph Weir Fan
was steph's chair soposed to tip over like that???....or was that intended???

just wasnt sure about that

I dont think it was intended, that's why it was funny as hell.

[Steph Weir Fan]

I thought it was so funny....Mo just started cracking up....i lol through the whole thing

[Steph Weir Fan]

Originally posted by KayceeJ
omg i loved this sketch! When Jelly Mae sat in the wrong seat...that was hilarious!

yea i thought that that was really funny too

[Texas]

I dont think I could have held in my laughter either

[MADtvFanatic13]

yea that was hilarious, i laughed so hard i almost peed my pants

but i think the chair tipping was intended because if you read the new thread " official questions for mo" i think she says in there that it was intended

[Steph Weir Fan]

Originally posted by MADtvFanatic13
yea that was hilarious, i laughed so hard i almost peed my pants

but i think the chair tipping was intended because if you read the new thread " official questions for mo" i think she says in there that it was intended

The way the did it it looked like it was an accident because like Mo was laughing while she was trying to fix the chair. They acted it out really good if it was intended.

[MADtvFanatic13]

yea