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  #761  
Old 07/17/2011, 3:26 PM
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I'd be tempted to say don't shit where you eat because I'd fear the same awkwardness (or worse if they decide to go to management and be assholes about it). There *will* be awkwardness about it if they turn you down. I guess what you can do is pick one out that you're interested in, get to know her better, and leave her be if she turns out to be a tool. If you build up a rapport with her, there would be more context behind asking her out, which would make it less creepy and maybe less awkward after if she says no. The only tricky part is to not build up *too* much of a rapport because then you'll get friend zoned and you'll get the "you're like a brother to me" runaround.

I play a very conservative game when it comes to asking girls out on dates. Conservative is a kind word. If I didn't trip into the relationship I am enjoying right now, I'd undoubtedly be single because I'm pretty risk-averse. Good luck to you.

Tarz: that's a heartbreaker. I never knew the conditions of your break up. You may have quite a bit of wallowing ahead of you, but it won't be forever.

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  #762  
Old 07/18/2011, 2:19 AM
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The "friend zone" area is the problem I do have. I worry that if I ask them and they say no that then they will always look at me as the "guy who was trying to get some ass from me all this time", but I worry that if I wait, I'll fall into the zone.

It's tough, and it gets even tougher because one of the people who I talk to a bit and see an opertunity with is actually a part time model. Do you know how hard it is not to be tempted by that! I didn't put a question mark at the end of that last sentence because really does it need to be asked?

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  #763  
Old 07/23/2011, 1:23 AM
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tarzapam Female tarzapam is offline
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We did long distance for 18months and she just couldn't hack it anymore.we've been broken up since the start of the year and we remain friends but it's getting to the stage now that I think that's all we'll truly be now and she's making new friends and I feel like ive stalled in that area.I spend a lot of time alone so I have too much time to think about what could have been.I'm trying to not do that so much though.

Tvman,the thing that stood out for me in ur postings is that ur only interested in meeting hot chicks.that's probably ur first mistake.just cause someone is hot doesn't mean they'll have any personality to back that up.obviously u need to be attracted to someone physically but don't base ur choices soley on that.make friends with these girls first but proceed with caution seeing u work with them.not worth tuning ur work environment for
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  #764  
Old 07/23/2011, 2:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tarzapam View Post
Tvman,the thing that stood out for me in ur postings is that ur only interested in meeting hot chicks.that's probably ur first mistake.just cause someone is hot doesn't mean they'll have any personality to back that up.obviously u need to be attracted to someone physically but don't base ur choices soley on that.make friends with these girls first but proceed with caution seeing u work with them.not worth tuning ur work environment for
Well, the thing is of the girls I talk to they are mostly hot. The ones that aren't really keep more to themselves in my place. I like to try and talk to everyone and that's why this dating thought has creeped in. I just worry that potential might be there and if I don't go for it who knows what I could be missing. Right now I'm looking at multiple window girls but the cracks aren't big enough to get through and I worry about them shutting.

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  #765  
Old 08/01/2011, 7:06 PM
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tarzapam Female tarzapam is offline
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Is it really worth the awkwardness if ur misreading the signals???

As for me my situation went from bad to worse.
Even tho we had broken up we were still being intimate and talked every day.
Things started changing about 2 weeks ago and I found out she had just met someone else.I was totally devastated,still am,but obviously while I'm still in love with her,she is not with me.with that on the weekend we had the last phone call we'll have...probably for a really long time.I poured all my anger and pain out in a 40min space and after being in each others life daily for over 6yrs I made the decision for my own emotional/mental state that I had to remove her from my life for now if we were ever going to be friends again.one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I am still struggling with it all but I want to get over her properly

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  #766  
Old 08/02/2011, 4:24 AM
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Jeez tarza, even though I don't know you outside of here, and I have never experience this myself (or likely ever will), this is really pulling at my heart strings. She really should have had a talk with you about how your lives were going to be if either of you found someone else before she started considering other people.
I really hope for the best for you, and if I can give you any advice, I would say that you might want to go to a support group to talk with other people who are going through some similar things. If you think that just sounds lame, then maybe just consider seeing a therapist for private sessions. That's the best idea I got.

As for your comment about my situation, it's actually very accurate, because there is this guy who has started working in my section that keeps saying that he's going out with every woman in the place and getting their numbers that is getting a lot of rumours talked about him due to his prowlness (if that's a word. (It's not)). I look at him and I see how he is and I realize that that is definitely not the type of person I want to be. So I have come to the conclusion of not dating co-workers, and just trying to figure out the best place to meet women. Again, if anyone has any suggestions just post.

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  #767  
Old 08/02/2011, 6:08 AM
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trust me,its pulling at my heart strings too.
It wasn't just her moving on but i was indirectly led to believe that at some point there could be a reunion between us so i've never tried to get over her...instead just waiting for her to be ready to be with me again.In the space of a week it went from her being confused about feelings(its someone she works with...go figure) to her being in a relationship with this person.
i don't even know who she is anymore cause this seems so out of character and her behaviour towards me(how i found out,her seemingly nonchalance since) have really gotten under my skin.She does not seem like the person i just spent 6 years of my life with.
She took me off facebook/twitter as well as my family a few days ago and i was offended by this but considering i don't want her in my life right now,its obviously for the best.
I have actually considered going to see someone to talk about it cause i just don't know what to do next or where to go from here.i never thought this would happen and i've been very ill prepared.
I felt like after i had talked to her and gotten everything off my chest that i was on the way up but i had a set back today and felt like i was at square one.ive been told though i can expect these mood turn arounds for a while yet on my road to recovery.
oh joy

Sorry for boring you guys with my sap story...this is just consuming my life right now.


And yes..u don't want to be known as the guy thats prowling on all the girls at work.you'd just come off as a jerk..there are girls out there that like nice guys that aren't so aggressive in that sense
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