[MADtv] Episode S14E15 (Aired 2009-04-11)

[Miss Information]

Taggers
A group called the East Side Locals are tagging a community centre, but one member Salazar (Johnny Sanchez) is taking the tagging too seriously, doing things like prepping the wall, and putting down a base coat. His cousin (Keegan-Michael Key) the leader of the gang get frustrated with the attitude he is taking towards tagging. When another group the Dukes comes to the wall the East Side Locals run away. The Duke believes in prepping for tagging too, as they are showing the same care as Salazar. Salazar instead of running away, stands there and watches the gang’s workmanship.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (Salazar), Keegan-Michael Key (East Side Locals Leader)

John Smith Performs
Crista Flanagan comes on stage to introduce a very funny comedian, Mr. John Smith (Keegan-Michael Key). John is in the witness protection program after confessing to a Mafia murder, and has to keep his identity secret. In order to do this, he will be doing all of this jokes behind a screen with a voice modulator. This limits John when it comes to his jokes, because his jokes ether contains punch lines that are about him, require changes in his voice, or facial expression. All of which can't be done under his circumstance. A man who is also from the witness protection program named Bill Johnson (Eric Price) then boos him, saying that he's seen murders funnier than John. John's wife Mary Smith (Arden Myrin) who is also being protected asks if he is done yet. He says that he is. Crista then wonders how many more people are in the witness protection program. It turns out that MADtv's entire audience is in the program.

Credits: Crista Flanagan (Herself), Keegan-Michael Key (John Smith), Johnny Sanchez (Bill Johnson), Arden Myrin (Mary Smith)

eHarmony
Norelle (Crista Flanagan) who just got out of a relationship with a 20 year old woman, was looking for a big change. She was linked with Wayne Michael Higgins (Eric Price). Norelle likes it that Wayne has his privacy, and that he has hobbies like digging at night and making sure his house is spotless. Along with this, Wayne is an artist. His inspiration of choice is his nude mother. Norelle feels safe with Wayne, especially with all the women going missing in her neighbourhood lightly. When she mentions this Wayne blurts out "Those girls were whores!" When Norelle asks how he would know that, his response is "My mother told me".

Credits: Crista Flanagan (Norelle), Eric Price (Wayne Michael Higgins)

Johnny Gan
The one thing Johnny Gan (Bobby Lee) loves more than putting himself inside women is American game shows. So he decides to start his own game show called Johnny Gan's Suitcase Deals or No Money Arrangement. For the game, Johnny was able to get busty American actress Kayla Kleevage to be his hostess. The first contestant is Pongo who picks a bag from a selection of bags to be his. When the banker calls (who is really Pongo's unborn twin brother Panji growing out of his stomach) and tells him that he can get a coupon for a pinkberry, or exchange it for General Changs Fish Paste. Johnny automatically makes Pongo go for the fish paste. Pongo wins the fish paste by "correctly guessing" a lyric from a song Johnny made up. Johnny then makes Pongo go all the way to the spin wheel. Unfortunately, Pongo lands on things like a mallet to the head and a tazer to the eye. He then lands on Of Love Touching, which means he wins, and gets to watch Johnny and Kayla have sex as his prize, but when Kayla slaps Johnny, Johnny calls that the end of the game.

Credits: Bobby Lee (Xao Lao "Johnny" Gan), Kayla Kleevage (Herself)

VMW X-8 #1
Misty Loy-Van Pelt (Arden Myrin), and Harlon Van Pelt (Eric Price) crashed there VMW X-8 while driving home from their country club, but with the VMW X-8 steel enforced frame they survived. Unlike Polo Lopez (Johnny Sanchez) the man they hit, who was in a junky Gardening Service truck, and died of a blunt forced object to the head.

Credits: Arden Myrin (Misty Loy-Van Pelt), Harlon Van Pelt (Eric Price), Johnny Sanchez (Polo Lopez)

26th Annual AVN Awards #1
It's the 26th Annual Adult Video News (AVN) Awards. The host for the night is from the movie How I Wet your Mother, Cherry Peach (Crista Flanagan). The first award is for actor in a fetish film. The award goes to Klaus Von Wienershnitzle (Eric Price) for the Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt. Benjamin is so honoured to be winning the award that he has been dreaming about since he worked at his mothers slaughter house. He thanks people like his agent Larry Burnbaum, and his wife Geneon who inspired him by saying that his love for leather and pain could be more than just a hobby.

Credits: Erin Micklow (Trophy Girl), Crista Flanagan (Cherry Peach), Johnny Sanchez (Bernie "the Schmeckl" Lund), Arden Myrin (Kaitlin Splace), Eric Price (Klaus Von Wienershnitzle)

VMW X-8 #2
Misty, and Harlon get in another crash, but because it was there new VMW X-8, they were ok. Unlike Special Walter (Bobby Lee) who claims through his voice activated wheel chair that they went up the ramp of the school he was coming out of, seemingly aiming at him.

Credits: Arden Myrin (Misty Loy-Van Pelt), Harlon Van Pelt (Eric Price), Bobby Lee (Walter)

Ribbon Cutting
It is a very special day, as today the Clifton Maleek Mohammed Civil for Rights Studies is opening. Dr. Jamaal Launtree (Keegan-Michael Key) who idolized Clifton's work is at the grand opening. He is making a speech when Cerise Mohammed (Erica Ash) who Jamaal knows all too well from an interview he had with her on his show the Eternal March is not thrilled to see her there. When Jamaal asks for a moment of silence, most likely for the fact that he doesn't want Cerise to speak, Cerise's phone starts to go off, and she ruins the moment. When someone (Johnny Sanchez) asks if Cerise would like to speak, she goes to the podium. In her speech she talks about her father writing speeches before he said them. She then asks if anyone has any questions. When a woman (Arden Myrin) asks if Cerise is intimidated of her father’s presence amongst the many buildings his name is leant to, Cerise responds that she loves her father’s presents like the pink bike he got her for Christmas one time. When asked about her father’s persona, Cerise says that he only had one persona that he drove a home and in public. Cerise is given the honour of cutting the ribbon to open the center, but as she talks about Martin Luther King's dream of being in high school with no pants, Jamaal realizes that he cannot let this happen. Jamaal then grabs the scissors from Cerise and cuts the ribbon himself.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (Man), Keegan-Michael Key (Jamaal Launtree), Arden Myrin (Woman), Erica Ash (Cerise Mohammed)

26th Annual AVN Awards #2
Katelyn Splace and Bobby Lee come out to remember the porn stars and assistance that were lost in the past year. These include Kirk Throb, Man-Dongo (Colton Dunn), Mitch Stein (Jim Wise) a fluffer, and Marty "Feedback" LaBrie Foley artist.

Credits: Bobby Lee (Himself), Arden Myrin (Katelyn Splace), Colton Dunn [MADtv Writer] (Man-Dongo), Jim Wise [MADtv Writer] (Mitch Stein)

26th Annual AVN Awards #3
The AVN Awards give out the Lifetime Achievement award to Bernie "the Schmeckl" Lund. In his speech, Bernie talks about his first role on Slong with the Wind, thanks God for giving him a long career, and all the women who let him stoop them six ways to Sunday.

Credits: Erin Micklow (Trophy Girl), Crista Flanagan (Cherry Peach), Johnny Sanchez (Bernie "the Schmeckl" Lund)

Automated Service
A man (Keegan-Michael Key) calls up his cable TV automated service Line to ask for assistance, but he is getting pushed around by the automated system, who tells him things like "excuse me sir I didn't finish" and "Ebonics is not an option". When he asks to go to an operator because the automated line is an offensive bitch, the system asks if he kisses his mother with that mouth. When he says that this must be a prank call, the system tells him that he placed the call in the first place. When the system tells him that threatening a machine is stupid he smashes his phone.

Credits: Keegan-Michael Key (Man), Erica Ash

Cottage Life with Carol and Jill
In the last few letters to the show Carol (Arden Myrin) and Jill (Crista Flanagan) are still getting letters asking if they are a couple. Carol tells them that would be so weird if they were a couple since she is not a lesbian. When Carol starts to say that she feels really lucky that she has Jill, and that maybe she should just become a lesbian, the door bell rings. It's Edward (Johnny Sanchez) from the cake shop. He has brought over a cake for Carol. As Carol is getting plates, Edward whispers into the camera that he has hidden a ring in the cottage for Carol, and that he plans on asking her to marry him. Jill then frantically starts looking for the ring. When Carol comes back, Edward gives Carol a map to the ring. Jill grabs it but can't understand it. When Edward gives Carol a clue that it's in a wooden box, Jill breaks open a box nearby with a sledge hammer. She finds the ring and proposes herself to Carol. Carol says yes and they begin to make out rather hard. Edward, heart-broken gets his ring back, but Jill then throws the wedding ring box at him. The whole show turns out to be staged provided by Mormons Against Gay Marriage who are showing what happens when gays are allowed to marry.

Credits: Arden Myrin (Carol), Crista Flanagan (Jill), Johnny Sanchez (Edward)

Sounds Like the 80's
In this rough economy, Sounds Like the 80's gives an alternative to downloading popular songs by altering the songs like When Birds Weep (When Doves Cry), Cleo (Rio), and Complete Astronomical Event of the Pulmonary Organ (Total Eclipse of the Heart). If acted on fast, Sounds like the 70's will also be included, which includes songs like Unnamed Pony (Horse with No Name), In your Proximity (Close to you), and Messiah Famous Guy (Jesus Christ Superstar)

MADtv Extras: Johnny Gan Outtakes
Bobby screws up Pongo's Uncles name twice, and loses his teeth at one point. When Johnny goes over to play the game Kayla accidentally misses her queue.

Credits: Bobby Lee (Xao Lao "Johnny" Gan/Himself)

Closing: Keegan Thanks a Very Special Guest
The audience.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (Himself), Arden Myrin (Herself), Crista Flanagan (Herself), Eric Price (Himself), Keegan-Michael Key (Himself), Erica Ash (Herself), Bobby Lee (Himself)

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Starring:

• Crista Flanagan (4A/2S/0W/0AF)
• Keegan-Michael Key (1A/4S/0W/0AF)
• Bobby Lee (2A/3S/0W/0AF)
• Arden Myrin (7A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Johnny Sanchez (4A/4S/0W/0AF)

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Featuring:

• Erica Ash (1A/2S/2W/0AF)
• Eric Price (3A/2S/0W/0AF)

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Special Appearances:

• Kayla Kleevage (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Erin Micklow (2A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Colton Dunn (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jim Wise (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

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Legend:

• (A)ppearance Credit
• (S)tarring Credit
• (W)riting Credit
• Non-Speaking Role
• (A)rchive (F)ootage

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[tvmanismadformad]

If the unapeeling sight of seeing another Johnny Gan sketch is getting to you, than I have something that should take you out of that funk. The official introduction of a new character. That new character is























Da da da daaaaaaa! Cottage Life with Carol and Jill!

Jill (Crista Flanagan) and Carol (Arden Myrin) have the hots for each other in the "Cottage Life" sketch

I'm sure you are all glad to see this. I know I am.

[MADfan2004]

I'm not glad

But no guest star this week? I was hoping they'd get some former cast members for the last episodes, and not just the finale.

[tvmanismadformad]

In the 2nd image I posted, I think Jill is holding a wedding ring box. I find that interesting. I'm not going to say everyone because some people may think differently *cough*MADfan*cough*.

[StopThatTicking]

i was going to say something awful about johnny gan, but then i read that there's going to be another cottage life sketch and i completely forgot about what i just read about johnny gan

yay, cottage life!

[blue_light_888]

Johnny Gan = no.
Cottage Life reprise = maybe. it looks okay, but...we'll see.

[cartman2002]

I guess this is not the series finally than.

[tvmanismadformad]

No.

Also, I hate that they keep bringing back Johnny. I usually like all of Bobby's characters but I absolutely hate this one. But even though I hate this one, Bobby seems to want to bring it back more than any other character.

[tvmanismadformad]

I really hope that Eric doesn't play Howie Mandel in the Deal or No Deal sketch because I would just be another impression that Michael had that they have simply passed to Eric like a Mr. Clean Eraser.

[RedMal]

Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad

I really hope that Eric doesn't play Howie Mandel in the Deal or No Deal sketch because I would just be another impression that Michael had that they have simply passed to Eric like a Mr. Clean Eraser.

Of course it will be Eric playing Howie, nobody else from the cast would fit the role better than him.

[blue_light_888]

After thinking it out, I'm worried about recurring Cottage Life. What made the original so great is that 1) it was an absolute original idea and 2) the subtlety of the jokes. With both of those things gone because 1) it's recurring now and 2) they're kissing in that picture, what's left? It just seems like a cheap way to redo something that got a lot of power behind it.

I mean, I'm all for Arden getting a character, but still.

[tvmanismadformad]

blue, the show is only on for a few more episodes. I'll take a new character of any kind at this point.

[CristaFan]

My reaction at Johnny Gan being back:

At least it should be a little different than his usual movie review garbage.

Ecstatic to hear Carol & Jill coming back though! That was the best sketch of the seaso if you ask me.

[potroastpig]

Stop worrying about Cottage Life......it should be great! I can't wait for it

[tvmanismadformad]

I'm not worried at all. I'm glad to see it coming back. It might be MAD's last new character, which is kind of sad to think about.

[tvmanismadformad]

By what I saw from the preview, the Johnny Gan sketch looks like it is going to suck. It looks so random, and so stupid.

[adamfishercox]

Cottage Life will suck balls. Why? Because it was funny that Arden was oblivious to Crista's flirting. Oh, and now they're kissing. Well f*cking done.

[tvmanismadformad]

adamNEGATIVEcox!

[adamfishercox]

sure. that's why i've posted favorable reviews of the last two episodes and was glad to see that MAD was getting back on it's feet.

[MADfan2004]

Originally Posted by adamfishercox

Cottage Life will suck balls. Why? Because it has Crista

Yes.