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Old 02/10/2008, 3:10 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
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Post Episode S13E11 (Aired 2008-02-16)

The Ugly World of BBC News
Richard Beck (Michael McDonald) begins the news segment with the top story being a rumble in Parliament. He switches over to Brady Poppins (Keegan-Michael Key) who reports that Brandus Magles and Watson Biggles exchanged heated words that continued onto the early, but fortunately no one got their "pigeon squeezed." Richard then switches to Diane Prissy (Crista Flanagan) over in Schiften County for the day's Queen Watch. Diane reports that the local villagers are petitioning the queen to turn their village into a "flubsy dubsy," but the Queen responds via a spokesperson saying that the villagers are in for a "real dweazer in the Bangkok." Diane comments that she isn't referring to China. Next, Richard goes over to Wally Balls (Jordan Peele) with sports reporting that the Waverley Thatches aren't doing too well this season after they lost a game to the Lancaster Bug-a-boos. He continues by saying that this is good news for the Netherlands Knoockers who find themselves in the "Delwick position." Finally, Richard goes over to Hadden Puddlejump Stinkapuss (Dan Oster) with breaking news. Hadden, who happens to be a highly disfigured hunchback, reports that the Queen is dead. Each of the reporters expresses their own form of grieving. The announcer ends the news segment stating that the reporters reflect the ugly world of BBC News.

Credits: Michael McDonald (Richard Beck), Keegan-Michael Key (Brady Poppins), Crista Flanagan (Diane Prissy), Jordan Peele (Wally Balls), Dan Oster (Hadden Puddlejump Stinkapuss)

Women's Murder Club: Spider
The Women's Murder Club arrives at a crime scene, where the inspector tells them it's a classic bump & dumpster. The victim is reported to be a male in his 20's. As the women approach the body, they run back screaming and panicking because they notice a spider next to the body. Claire Washburn (Daheli Hall) tells the inspector that his job is to get rid of the spider. The girls tell him not to kill the spider, but to instead place the spider on a tree. The announcer ends the installment by saying not to get "your panties in a bunch."

Credits: Daheli Hall (Paula Newsome: Claire Washburn), Nicole Parker (Angie Harmon: Lindsay Boxer), Crista Flanagan (Aubrey Dollar: Cindy Thomas), Arden Myrin (Laura Harris: Jill Berndhart), Keegan-Michael Key (Inspector)

Claymation: Auditions - Scary Monsters
A cyclops, giant furball, and bomb audition to play a scary monster. The judge asks the bomb to blow up for real, which he unfortunately cannot do. Next, a cigarette says he's scary because cigarettes kill people with time. Following the cigarette is a small little boy named Becky, who says he's 4 years old and happens to be the Devil. Next, a bald insane man says that if he reaches enough children he can take over the world. His rant is interrupted by a phone call, and he does not make the cut. Lastly, a small imp is asked to be scary by roaring and growling.

Credits: N/A

Women's Murder Club: Creepy Man
Continuing from the previous installment, the Inspector informs the ladies that the spider is gone. Lindsay Boxer (Nicole Parker) leads the group towards the body once again, but the women run back yet again screaming after Cindy Thomas (Crista Flanagan) reports seeing a creepy man standing next to the body staring at them. The Inspector informs them that it's only Officer Sullivan (Dan Oster), who has a wife and 2 kids. The women head over to Officer Sullivan to look at his pictures. The Inspector asks them about the body, when Claire misinterprets his question thinking he said something about her body. The Inspector pouts, while the women laugh saying he's in trouble. The announcer concludes this installment by saying it's "Ladies Night....for Murder."

Credits: Daheli Hall (Paula Newsome: Claire Washburn), Nicole Parker (Angie Harmon: Lindsay Boxer), Crista Flanagan (Aubrey Dollar: Cindy Thomas), Arden Myrin (Laura Harris: Jill Berndhart), Keegan-Michael Key (Inspector), Dan Oster (Officer Sullivan)

Lee vs. Wild
Bobby Lee begins with a short anecdote of how he's been on a sketch comedy show for 7 years, and has literally shown his "junk" to dozens of strangers. He prepares to embark on his most challenging adventure yet; going into the wild while attempting to survive for 3 days on his own. While the camera and crew will be present, they are not allowed to help him. The driver immediately kicks Bobby out of the truck without his supplies. Bobby becomes dehydrated because of the heat and searches for water. He notices the crew has several bottles of water and asks for one, but they deny him. Bobby sees a bottle on a hill thinking there might be water inside, but to his dismay the bottle is empty. Insanity takes over as Bobby decides to start eating plants, but he can't keep them down. Bobby comes across a lake and decides to drink some of the water, when he notices the body of a dead animal in the lake, causing him to vomit. Nighttime falls, and he decides to pile up leaves for a bed. His skin begins to itch, when one of the crew members tells him that he is laying on poison oak. Morning arrives, and Bobby is covered in blemishes and rashes from the poison oak. He asks for a Benadryl, but is once again denied. Bobby attempts to have breakfast, which turns out to be manure he mistakes for berries. Nighttime falls again and Bobby is captured by one of the mountain villagers, who forces Bobby to dress like a woman and dance. The crew says they will help, but instead continue to record.

Credits: Bobby Lee (himself), Jordan Peele (Crew Member #1), Johnny Sanchez (Crew Member #2)

Anniversary Misunderstanding
Jerry (Jordan Peele) arrives home with a gift for his wife Pam (Crista Flanagan) to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Pam tells Jerry that she also got him something to make up for the fact that since their kids were born, their sex lives have "cooled down." Pam introduces Alison (Arden Myrin) to Jerry, who is under the impression that Alison is there to participate in a threesome. Pam is in shock over Jerry's assumption and she tells him that Alison is the baby-sitter hired to watch the kids while they go out to a hotel. Pam calls Jerry disgusting for wanting to have a threesome with a 16 year old, and she confirms that Alison is indeed the little girl from down the street. Jerry argues with Pam that he thought Alison was a prostitute, and tells her she probably has dreams about having threesomes as well, especially with Drew from across the street who happens to be a male baby-sitter. Pam begins having second thoughts about passing up the offer and insists on Jerry calling him back. She also tells Jerry to have Drew bring his twin sister along.

Credits: Jordan Peele (Jerry), Crista Flanagan (Pam), Arden Myrin (Alison)

A Good Impression
Fred (Keegan-Michael Key) and his wife (Nicole Parker) get ready for a dinner-party to celebrate George's (Bobby Lee) promotion. At one point, Fred begins to do his Bill Cosby impression which his wife suggests he does at the party. At the event, George's coworker (Johnny Sanchez) gives a toast to George commemorating him for being employed 15 years. To help celebrate the occasion, George's coworker introduces a "Special Guest;" Bill Cosby. It turns out to be none other than a man named Jerry (Dan Oster) who works for accounting. He begins to do his awful Cosby impression which does not sit too well with Fred. Fred gets even more upset when the impersonator calls him Bill Closby instead of Cosby. He freaks out to the point where he interrupts the performance. Fred gets on the stage to do his impression, and fails to do so when his voice begins to crack. He sits back down while Jerry continues with his impression. Fred agrees with George and that others that it's an okay Cosby.

Credits: Keegan-Michael Key (Fred), Nicole Parker (Fred's Wife), Johnny Sanchez (George's Coworker), Bobby Lee (George), Dan Oster (Jerry: Cosby Impersonator)

Claymation: Auditions - Superheroes
A pimp arrives for the audition and complains that he was late because his shoe was stolen, and as a result his walking is uneven. Next, a man dressed in spandex with a paper clip symbol on his chest reveals that he battles evil in a clerical sense. He states that he shines the most when it comes to filling out the paperwork. Next a man stands on one leg while attempting to fly. Lastly, the imp from the scary monsters auditions dons a cape and roars yet again.

Credits: N/A

Women's Murder Club: FBI Agent
On the third installment of the Women's Murder Club, FBI Agent Vasquez (Anjelah Johnson) arrives announcing that she will be working with the Women's Murder Club. She provides the details of what possibly took place, as the women stare her down and give her dirty looks. Once Agent Vasquez is done with explaining the details, the women agree with her completely. As she leaves, Claire states that she won't help her with a murder crime. Lindsay adds that the agent was completely full of herself, while Cindy mentions that she would not want to be as hot as Agent Vasquez because no one would take her seriously. Jill mentions that the agent had nice shoes. The other women are appalled by her comment and tell Jill that she's out of the club. They strike a pose as the announcer says that the Women's Murder Club is like Law & Order, but with more women.

Credits: Daheli Hall (Paula Newsome: Claire Washburn), Nicole Parker (Angie Harmon: Lindsay Boxer), Crista Flanagan (Aubrey Dollar: Cindy Thomas), Arden Myrin (Laura Harris: Jill Berndhart), Keegan-Michael Key (Inspector), Anjelah Johnson (FBI Agent Vasquez)

Rice & Beans Tour – Part VI
Johnny (himself) and Bobby (himself) continue their tour of the American Heartland. They stop for lunch in Springfield, Arkansas where Johnny announces that he found a Mexican restaurant called "Las Palmas Mexican Restaurant." Bobby states he isn't craving Mexican food, when Johnny points to a restaurant called "Jade China: House of Mandarin Foods." Bobby calls Johnny racist for implying he's Chinese. The pair meets up with Su from the Chamber of Commerce and a few other locals. One of them, Charlie, tells Bobby that he doesn't want to go to the strip club in Muskogee. A much older man tells him that the strippers are ugly to the point where they have to sneak up on hoses just to get a drink of water. Bobby and Johnny attempt horseback riding, where Johnny ridicules the way Bobby is riding the horse. Bobby says it's because his "taint" was ripped. Next, Bobby and Johnny arrive at the Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame where they take up square dancing and other forms of country style dances. Later that night, Bobby and Johnny meet up with Alex, the owner of Max's Garage. Alex informs the pair that the strip clubs in Muskogee are closed down, but to make up for it he decides to throw a wet t-shirt contest with Bobby and Johnny as the judges. Three girls compete, while the fourth is none other than Bobby Lee (under the name of Barbara Lee). The contest ends with Bobby content, thus concluding the Rice and Beans Tour.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (himself), Bobby Lee (himself)

MAD Encore: John Madden: The Quick-Pop Popcorn Popper (#805)
John Madden (Frank Caliendo) is hired as a spokesperson to promote the new Quick-Pop Popcorn Popper. The trouble begins when Madden has a difficult time opening the butter packet. Madden plugs in the Popcorn Popper and ends up frying his right arm. Fred (Bobby Lee) tells John to put some butter on it, but John can't seem to open it and instead throws the packet at Fred's face. Madden tries one more time to go ahead with the commercial and mistakenly says one line early. As a result, he tells Fred to go f*$# himself. Fred plugs in the popcorn popper and opens the packet with no problem. Once the popcorn is done, John tries to take the lid off but only succeeds in burning his face because of the hot steam. The guests at Fred's house start to mock John for getting injured, and he decides to throw the popcorn at them. Instead, he ends up burning his hands. To finish the commercial, Madden decides to resort to his tactic of reviewing the popcorn popper as if it were a football play.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (John Madden), Bobby Lee (Fred)

Farhid, the Kite Salesman from the Middle East: Mini-Mart
A man (Keegan-Michael Key) walks into the mini-mart of a gas station to purchase a drink, when the store owner Farhid (Johnny Sanchez) approaches him. Farhid begins hissing and whispering to the man, assuming that he too is Middle Eastern. He claims that people are always after them, accusing them of being terrorists. The man tells Farhid that he isn't Middle Eastern, but in fact Mexican. Farhid tells the Mexican man that his full name is actually Farhid Allah-Jandro. Farhid is still under the impression that the man is indeed Middle Eastern. He tries to sell kites to the man saying that flying a kite will bring back memories of Iran. The man refuses to buy a kite, and Farhid tells him that if he doesn't buy a kite then he won't be able to pump gas. The man finally gives in and buys a kite and is informed that the best time to fly a kite is during the night to avoid being killed.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (Farhid), Keegan-Michael Key (Mexican Customer)

MAD Encore: Sean the Floor Leader: Going Away Party (#1109)
Kayla (Stephnie Weir) is approached by her coworker (Arden Myrin) who tells her about the going away party being thrown for Sean Gidcomb, the floor leader. Sean accuses Kayla's coworker of being a sneaky snake and to prove that he is not a Nazi homosexual, he is willing to masturbate over a picture of Barbara Streisand. He introduces the two women to the new floor leader, Shane (Neil Patrick Harris) who is revealed to be an exact replica of Sean. The two instill more fear into Kayla, while her coworker refuses to take them seriously. Sean leaves for his party that is being held on the roof--its theme is roller skating. Shane revelas that he is nothing like Sean and feels that people have to act a certain way around Sean. He heads back for the cubicle, and Sean is seen falling off the side of the building while yelling "sneaky snakes!!" Kayla's coworker is relieved that Sean is gone and their new boss is normal, only to find out that Shane is indeed like Sean when he reveals he also is a computer expert.

Credits: Arden Myrin (Kayla's Coworker), Stephnie Weir (Kayla), Michael McDonald (Sean Gidcomb), Neil Patrick Harris (Shane)

Closing: Lee vs. Wild Outtakes
Outtakes for Bobby Lee's adventure in nature are shown, from various takes of him being kicked out of the truck, to him being forced to play a woman for the mountain villager.

Credits: N/A


  • Crista Flanagan (5A/4S/0W)
  • Keegan-Michael Key (6A/1S/0W)
  • Bobby Lee (3A/2S/1W)
  • Michael McDonald (1A/1S/0W)
  • Arden Myrin (4A/3S/0W)
  • Nicole Parker (4A/3S/0W)
  • Jordan Peele (3A/1S/0W)
  • Johnny Sanchez (4A/2S/2W)
  • Daheli Hall (3A/3S/0W)
  • Anjelah Johnson (1A/0S/0W)
  • Dan Oster (3A/1S/1W)

  • (A)cting Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Role

As always, don't forget to submit your full review, vote for your favorite sketch, and rank this episode using our forum's thread rating feature. We look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Last edited by JustG; 02/19/2008 at 7:43 AM.
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