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Old 02/21/2009, 12:06 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
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Default Episode S14E12 (Aired 2009-03-14)

The Situation Room: Spring Break '09
In order to counteract there dip in the ratings due to the end of the election, CNN's The Situation Room is bringing keg to keg coverage of Spring Break '09. They first go to Panama City, Florida, where Candy Crowley (Lauren Pritchard) is reporting on the Hottest Jugs on the Beach Contest, before being accosted by 2 females who think she is a famous fat male celebrity. The left side of her hair is then cut off in a later report. They then go to Christiane Amanpour (Nicole Parker), who is in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida getting a margarita mixed in her mouth while topless. Terrence Jarvis (Matt Braunger), the writer of the book Spring Breakdown is then brought on to argue about the pros and cons of spring break with bi-sexual reality star Tila Taquila who is speaking from Miami Beach. Tila uses a study from the Vanguard Institute that stuns Terrence into submission. Dr. Sanjay Gupta (Keegan-Michael Key) comes on to show the effects of binge drinking. He is unfortunately drunk and has to be chased off the stage.

Credits: Eric Price (Wolf Blitzer), Lauren Pritchard (Candy Crowley), Arden Myrin (Woman #1), Crista Flanagan (Woman #2), Nicole Parker (Christiane Amanpour), Matt Braunger (Terrence Jarvis), Tila Taquila (Herself), Keegan-Michael Key (Sajay Gupta)

Eddie Thundercloud: Native Spring Break
Eddie Thundercloud (Keegan-Michael Key) comes on to show the differences between spring break for the white man, and spring break for the native tribes. The native tribes celebrate spring break by entering into the spirit world, jump through bonfires to represent their transition into adulthood, and make art on sand scripts as a lasting legacy. The white man celebrates spring break by drinking heavily, jumping from the balcony of their hotels into far off swimming pools, and Youtubing themselves banging under aged girls. Eddie does however, like the Girls Gone Wild videos.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Herself), Keegan-Michael Key (Eddie Thundercloud)

eHarmony #1
A woman is looking to make her rich parents angry picks up Hector (Johnny Sanchez), a prisoner who met her over eHarmony. They do things like do coke off of precious artefacts around her parents house, and cause commotions whenever they go to any big social events the woman’s parents are throwing.

Credits: Lauren Pritchard (Ms. Vanderhay), Johnny Sanchez (Hector)

Para-Lym #1
A couple is on a date in a restaurant when the woman starts to kick violently. It turns out she has Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). To stop it, she turns to Para-Lym. A pill that relaxes the mussels in her legs. The pill unfortunately works too well causing her legs to go completely numb to the point where she is unable to use them. Until the pills ware off she has to crawl around in order to go anywhere, or be helped by fellow workers, but to her it beats violently kicking everything she comes in close contact with.

Credits: Crista Flanagan (Woman #1), Matt Braunger (Date), Lauren Pritchard (Office Woman), Eric Price (Office Man)

ZAT Bros #1
5 friends driving home after having a super fun spring break in Ft. Lauderdale. They talk about the entire week, except for the previous night. The previous night, 2 women came up to them requesting an all night orgy. They all agreed, but what they failed to realize during the all night orgy, is that the girls left after 5 minutes. When one of them brings it up they try to justify the night by saying that maybe it was a showing of their brotherhood. When one of them sees a hotel, he asks if they men want to get a room and express there "brotherhood". They all agree.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (ZAT Bro #1), Keegan-Michael Key (Jeff), Bobby Lee (ZAT Bro #2), Eric Price (Dave), Matt Braunger (ZAT Bro #3)

Para-Lym #2
RLS hits the woman suddenly, and after knocking out a friend she takes Para-Lym quickly to stop the violent kicking.

Credits: Lauren Pritchard (Office Woman), Crista Flanagan (Woman #1)

ZAT Bros #2
A police officer stops the boys. The boys think it might be due to their frequent stops at hotels to have sex with each other. The driver of the car tries to keep non-sealant about it but when the police officer asks him why he thinks he has been pulled over he blurts it out. The officer just says that he's got a broken tail light, but thinks it's good that the boys are comfortable with their friendship.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (ZET Bro #1), Keegan-Michael Key (Jeff), Bobby Lee (ZAT Bro #2), Eric Price (Dave), Matt Braunger (ZAT Bro #3)

Stripper Intros #1
A woman Shannon O’Neill (Nicole Parker) is having a woman's bachelor party thrown in her honour, when the doorbell begins to ring. She thinks it's a stripper that one of her friends hired. When she sees a police man at the door she thinks that is just the strippers cover until he seems to know everything about her fiancé, right down to the car he drives. He comes in and tells Shannon that her fiancé had died in an accident in a very painful way. The girls there are unaware that this is an actual police officer and hoot and holler at everything he says. He tells Shannon that she has to go and identify the body, but first she has to identify his body. The officer begins to strip leaving Shannon still unsure whether her fiancé was really in an accident.

Credits: Arden Myrin (Woman), Nicole Parker (Shannon O’Neill), Keegan-Michael Key (Stripper)

Stripper Intros #2
A woman Trisha McHalpen (Crista Flanagan) is told to go to the door by her friends. She expects a stripper, but what she gets is her long lost son, who she gave up when she was young. The moment is very intense when the stripper comes in as an astronaut with a report of "Houston, we have a boner".

Credits: Cami Raich (Katie), Erica Ash (Woman), Crista Flanagan (Trisha McHalpen), Eric Price (Sailor Son), Keegan-Michael Key (Stripper)

Tank: Panama City Spring Break #1
Cornelius "Tank" (Bobby Lee) is out looking for booty at Panama City spring break. After passing on the half bald Candy Crowley, Tank sets his sights on two girls. He tries to impress them with a full service bar in his Daewoo. When he says he has a golf game in the car, the ladies say that they don't like to play with small balls, and pass on Tank. When a woman named Tunisia (Erica Ash) comes by, he offers to Barack her Obama. When his car starts to talk, he tells her that his car is a crime fighting car like Knight Rider. She gets into the car wanting to get a closer look. Tank thinks that he is finally going to get lucky, but when he tries to make a move on her she slaps him telling him that she thought he was a crime fighter. Her boyfriend then comes by and dumps him in a nearby garbage can. Tank's brother Kenneth (Kenneth Lee) then comes out of the car. He recognises Tunisia who thought he was dead. Kenneth’s response to this is "I was dead without you in my life". Kenneth says he can't help Tank anymore, and leaves with Tunisia and her boyfriend, as Tank tearfully passes on all of them.

Credits: Lauren Pritchard (Candy Crowley), Bobby Lee (Cornelius "Tank"), Crista Flanagan (Woman #2), Arden Myrin (Woman #1), Erica Ash (Tunisia), Kenneth Lee (Kenneth)

Stripper Intros #3
As the stripping is going on, a man from the gas company Pete (Matt Braunger) comes into the house to report a major gas leak, but all of his words are being misconstrued as having sexual meanings, possibly thinking that he is a stripper as well. The house then explodes.

Credits: Cami Raich (Katie), Erica Ash (Woman), Keegan-Michael Key (Stripper), Matt Braunger (Pete)

eHarmony #2
A man after a 10 year drought which began in high school, a man stumbles across the eHarmony questionnaire. He was looking for someone exotic, wild, and fun. He got Mxona (Erica Ash) an African tribal woman who speaks an unknown language, and only accepted the man because it would get her to America where she could fulfill her most treasured dream. Have sex with the Jonas Brothers. That is the only way it will rain in her village. She in truth wants nothing to do with him.

Credits: Eric Price (Man), Erica Ash (Mxona)

Nancy Grace: Mourning Zoo #1
Nancy Grace (Nicole Parker) comes on to report the tragic sinking of a Miami party boat containing morning radio shows from all across the country. Some of these deaths include the crews from Mike and the Beef, Tom of Nashville Sphincter & Tom, the entire AM Brew Crew of 94.6 the Laser, Anus and Andy, and Detroit’s Farty Marty (Jim Wise). A distress call that came from the boat was from TJ (Eric Price), and the Gootch (Matt Braunger) who call for 20 minutes of sinking action, before cutting out. When Nancy gets word that there is a survivor who has called in on the show, it turns out to be a prank call.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Nancy Grace), Jim Wise [MADtv Writer] (Marty), Eric Price (TJ), Matt Braunger (Gootch), Arden Myrin (Saundra Burns), Johnny Sanchez (Veggie Head)

Nancy Grace: Mourning Zoo #2
The coastguard confirms that all 210 D.J's on board died in the ship wreck. When Nancy asks for complete silence, her producer Glenn uses a sound effect machine to break it.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Nancy Grace)

Celebrity Family Feud: The Lost Episode
A lost episode of NBC's summer sleeper Family Feud is aired, which features the Kardashian family Bruce Jenner, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Kris, facing the Disney Family, which features the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus (Crista Flanagan), and Raven Symone (Erica Ash). Kim brings up the point that the Disney family isn't a real family. Miley contests this, saying that they have everything any family has. Controlling parents, 175 page contracts, and tracking devices in their necks. Miley and Kim then come on stage to see who goes first. The first question from host Al Roker (Keegan-Michael Key) is "what items to you carry in a beach bag" They both guess obscure things like Spermacide, and diamonds. The Kardashians win however, due to Miley getting an injection to calm herself down. When Al asks them "name an item they bring to the beach", Kourtney says 16,000 dollars in 100 dollar bills. The answer is wrong, and Al now gives the Disney kids the chance to answer, but over on the Disney side, things have gone chaotic, as Raven has decapitated Miley, removed her tracking device, and goes on a rampage. After the heads of the Jonas Brothers blow up all over Al, the family is replaced by a newer, younger Disney family.

Credits: Bruce Jenner (Himself), Kim Kardashian (Herself), Kourtney Kardashian (Herself), Khole Kardashian (Herself), Kris Jenner (Herself), Skoti Collins (Nick Jonas), Eric Price (Kevin Jonas), Crista Flanagan (Miley Cyrus), Johnny Sanchez (Joe Jonas), Erica Ash (Raven-Symone Pearman), Keegan-Michael Key (Al Roker)

Tank: Panama City Spring Break #2
Tank has sex for the first time in the back of his Daewoo with Candy Crowley. He then dumps her because he always hits it and then quits it.

Credits: Lauren Pritchard (Candy Crowley), Bobby Lee (Cornelius "Tank")

eHarmony #3
A couple who were never impulsive tried eHarmony, and there meeting caused a wave on impulsive sexual conquest which included in the bathroom of a Denny's, behind an avocado stand, and in a courthouse. When they decided that they wanted to have kids, they decided to get blood tested just to be sure that they could. The test came back that they were first cousins, which makes everything they did a little odd. Allan (Matt Braunger) is sure though that some day it may not be so taboo. They both then go behind the sheet background to have sex.

Credits: Matt Braunger (Allan), Arden Myrin (Woman)

MADtv Extras: The Situation Room: Spring Break '09
Eric screws up his lines 4 times.

Credits: Eric Price (Wolf Blitzer/Himself)

Nicole Closes
Nicole Parker thanks everyone for watching.

Credits: Bobby Lee (Himself), Eric Price (Himself), Matt Braunger (Himself), Johnny Sanchez (Himself), Nicole Parker (Herself), Keegan-Michael Key (Himself), Crista Flanagan (Herself), Arden Myrin (Herself), Erica Ash (Herself)

---

[h3]Starring:[/h2]
  • Crista Flanagan (3A/3S/0W/0AF)
  • Keegan-Michael Key (6A/3S/0W/0AF)
  • Bobby Lee (2A/3S/0W/0AF)
  • Arden Myrin (5A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Nicole Parker (2A/4S/0W/0AF)
  • Johnny Sanchez (3A/2S/0W/0AF)
---

Featuring:
  • Erica Ash (4A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Matt Braunger (3A/4S/0W/0AF)
  • Eric Price (5A/4S/0W/0AF)
  • Lauren Pritchard (4A/2S/0W/0AF)
---

Guest Starring:
  • Tila "Tila Tequila" Nguyen (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Bruice Jenner (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Kim Kardashian (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Kourtney Kardashian (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Khole Kardashian (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Kris Jenner (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
---

Special Appearances:
  • Cami Raich (2A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Kennith Lee (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Jim Wise (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Skoti Collins (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
---

Legend:
  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Role
  • (A)rchive (F)ootage
---

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 04/19/2016 at 12:40 AM. Reason: Reformatted
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