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Old 08/21/2005, 4:52 AM
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Default Monologue: Nicole Speaks About Ejaculation (#108)

Nicole- herself


(Nicole is standing on main stage)

Nicole: Hi, I’m Nicole Sullivan.

[Applause]

Nicole: Thanks. You know what I’m sick to death of? Is guys who go into sex with this I’m holding-Back attitude as if it's a competition to see how long they can make it last. "It's ok, baby. I can go on forever." Ok, listen. God engineered the male species to release his seed as often and as quickly as possible. And since I am a very spiritual person... When foreplay lasts any longer than the organ solo on the doors' light my fire, I consider it sacrilege. Ok, think about it. The success and dominance of the human race on this planet is based on proliferation. Ok, if cavemen had held back, they would've been ripped to shreds by a saber-toothed tiger before they could reproduce, right? Therefore, there is no such thing as being too fast on the draw. You're just being plain old efficient. All week, I tape my favorite shows. I don't get to watch them till Saturday or Sunday. I mean, the last thing I need is some guy wasting my whole weekend with sex. I mean, for crying out loud, let's get it over and move on E.R. Ok? Believe me, the sincerest form of flattery is when a guy is so excited he can't contain himself. Every 10 seconds, a man in this country commits an expeditious emission. And to me, that is not nearly often enough. Let's all work together on this one. It'll be easier than you think. I'm Nicole. Thanks for listening. Bye-Bye.

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