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Old 07/27/2016, 11:11 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
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Default Episode S15E02 (Aired 2016-08-02)

Cold Open: Ike's Dressing Room
Adam Ray and Amir K are hanging out in Ray's dressing room when Ike Barinholtz comes in. Turns out that Ray's dressing room is the same one that Barinholtz had when he was on the show. As Barinholtz shows, the secrets of the room are still around, as he shows Ray and K all of the secret stashes that he had hidden around the room, including a whiskey bottle in a vent, and pills in a light bulb. When Barinholtz goes to pop open a hidden wall, he finds a disheveled and bloody Bobby Lee. Lee had apparently been hiding in wall to surprise Barinholtz, but when the show was cancelled, he got stuck behind the wall. When K asks how Lee was able to survive in the back room without food for so long, Lee confesses to eating a personal assistant from the show. With the thought that Lee is going to be arrested for murder, they shove Lee back behind the wall.

Credits: Adam Ray (Himself), Amir K (Himself), Ike Barinholtz (Himself), Bobby Lee (Himself)

Open: Ike & Bobby's Lovechild
Ike Barinholtz and Bobby Lee come on set to confess that Lee has not been behind a wall for 8 years, but that he has been busy. Lee has grown a mustache and his body "now looks like a dumpling", and Barinholtz is now married with 2 kids. Lee is quick to correct him though, as he does not have 2 kids, he has 3 kids. Lee then introduces Barinholtz to Bike, his lovechild with Lee. After a party in which Barinholtz passed out, Lee was able to get his seed and make Bike. Barinholtz doesn't know what to make of Bike, so they leave to go backstage to connect and catch up.

Credits: Ike Barinholtz (Himself), Bobby Lee (Himself)

Princess Polly as a Parking Lot Attendant
Princess Polly (Carlie Craig), a very in character woman, is no longer allowed to work in a theme park due to budget cuts, and now has to work as a parking attendant. She embraces her new position as "Fairy Princess of the As-vault" but does not want to wear the safety vest, as it does not go with her outfit. After being hit by a car, she realizes that she must wear the safety vest for her own protection, but it does not help as she is hit by more cars. She enforces parking lot rules by telling a story of Cinderella's pumpkin getting keyed and tagged after it was parked in 3 spaces that annoy a parker (Adam Ray) enough to make him do what she wants. She is beginning to crack under the pressure though due to the frequent car impacts. As two people (Jeremy D. Howard and Lyric Lewis) come to help her, she finally cracks telling them "You're about to spend a small fortune to get into a park, where you'll stand in line for hours just to get into a ride where kids have peed on the seats!"

Credits: Amir K (Park Manager), Carlie Craig (Princess Polly), Piotr Michael (Male Park Visiter #1), Michelle Ortiz (Female Park Visiter #1), Adam Ray (Male Park Visiter #2), Jeremy D. Howard (Male Park Visiter #3), Lyric Lewis (Female Park Vister #2)

The Blind Kung Fu Master: James Bond
James Bond (Adam Ray), and his his female companion Ta-Ta Aplenty (Michelle Ortiz) have been captured by Dr. No (Piotr Michael), who has set up an industrial strength laser to cut him and Aplenty in half and make Bond "Half the man he use to be". As No leaves and the situation looks parlous, a proverb can be heard reverberating through No's evil cave lair. It is the Blind Kung Fu Master (Bobby Lee), Bond's former kung fu sense. As the Master fumbles and bumps his way to them, Bond tells him that to disarm the laser, he must cut the blue wire. After ceinging his beard which took him 67 years to grow, he tries to disconnect the laser, but can't because he has "no frame of reference for blue". As No returns to the chamber to find the Master. As the Master gets ready to duel No, No informs him that he leaves all of his fighting to the blocks. He should probably change the name of his fighter though, as he prefers to be called Henry (Jeremy D. Howard), and No's pronunciation of "blocks" sounds close to "blacks". As the Master runs to attack Henry, he accidentally runs into a liar of tigers and komodo dragons. With No and Henry leaving the scene, the Master emerges from the liar harmed but alive. He then is able to move and disable the laser saving Bond and Aplenty, but when Aplenty goes in for a kiss with Bond, it is revealed that her face had been scarred by the laser. He turns Aplenty to the Master as "he is the one who saved you" but even the Master is put off by Aplenty saying he know "a butter face" when he sees one.

Credits: Adam Ray (James Bond), Michelle Ortiz (Ta-Ta Aplenty), Piotr Michael (Ernst Stavro Blofeld), Bobby Lee (The Blind Kung Fu Master), Jeremy D. Howard (Henry "The Blocks")

Rio 2016 Coverage
Disgraced NBC newsman Brian Williams (Piotr Michael) is hosting NBC's coverage of the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio De Janeiro because Bob Costas "cares about his life and refused to go to Brazil" due to Zika. Due to the Zika scare the contestants need to wear hazmat suits to do the swimming events. Though many athletes have refused to compete in Rio, this has left other athletes with a better shot at a medal. This includes Shawanda Jefferson (Jeremy D. Howard), a former bus driver in the rhythmic gymnastics program. As Brian Williams begins to fall ill to the Zika virus it reminds him of when he led coalition forces in Iraq. The feed cuts out before he can finish the story.

Credits: Piotr Michael (Brian Williams), Jeremy D. Howard (Shawanda Jefferson)

Shark Tank "Catch"
Best friends Alan Hobble (Ike Barinholtz) and Frank Wynn (Bobby Lee) enter the Shark Tank with their invention to "revolutionize the recreational sports industry" with their game called "Catch". A game where you throw a ball of any kind from any kind of length to someone and they throw it back in a game that can last any length of time the people choose. As the game gets shot down due to the fact that it is already a thing, they try to pitch a new game which is similar to "catch" only with a Frisbee, which they call a "diskee", and a "sandwich with 3 slices of bread" which is a club sandwich. They are promptly kicked out of the tank.

Credits: Ike Barinholtz (Alan Hobble), Bobby Lee (Frank Wynn), Adam Ray (Mark Cuban), Carlie Craig (Barbara Corcoran), Piotr Michael (Kevin O'Leary), Chelsea Davison (Lori Greiner), Amir K (Robert Herjavec)

Idina Menzel Vs Kristen Chenoweth
Lyric Lewis comes on stage to give a shout out to Joe Biden who is in the audience when she sees that Idina Menzel (Michelle Ortiz) is in the audience and invites her onstage. Menzel says that she has "been on Broadway for 20 years but that this has got to be the thrill of her career. I mean MADtv on the CW come on!" As Menzel begins to sing America the Beautiful in honour of Joe Biden, a voice steals her line from the audience. It is Kristin Chenoweth (Carlie Craig) who comes on stage much to Menzel's annoyance. When Lewis asks if they ever get competitive with each other, they begin to try and out sing each other with America the Beautiful, trying to top each other by Menzel bringing in Slash (Adam Ray) and Chenoweth shocking her vocal cords among other ploys. The sketch ends with them choking each other.

Credits: Lyric Lewis (Herself), Michelle Ortiz (Idina Menzel), Carlie Craig (Kristin Chenoweth), Adam Ray (Saul "Slash" Hudson), Jeremy D. Howard (Stevie Wonder), Amir K (Doctor)

Safe Space
Pendora (Michelle Ortiz) and Wolfgang (Adam Ray) of New Hampshire University Television introduce their show Safe Space which is non threatening, and throws no punches. They, and their panel of millennials or "palennials" Jahari (Lyric Lewis), and Carlos (Amir K). They try to get into issues like the election, but anytime someone brings up something, no matter what the topic or how it relates to the subject matter, one of them shuts down the conversation by saying that the topic is a "trigger" for them, meaning it brings up an unfortunate depressing part of their life. This includes things like Wolfgang triggering the word "headline" because it sounds like "hairline" which makes him self conscious about his hairline and Pendora triggering the word "washing machine" because her washing machine is broken. Their guest for the evening is Melissa McCarthy (Chelsea Davidson) who is on campus to do a lecture about comedy. She tries to relate to the group but they are triggering her for calling them all "guys" and for being a white feminist, which triggers Jahari. As the interview goes, and McCarthy is getting more annoyed with the hosts and palennials, she begins to fight back, telling them that she is "eye level" to Wolfgang's nut sack, but that the phrase "nut sack" must be a trigger "because not everyone has a nut sack, or because some people are allergic to nuts, or, or because we should be using reusable sacks". McCarthy then rolls off her bean bag chair and goes off stage. The show ends with Jahari and Carlos going off to "researchafying and autentificating" a paper and to attend therapy on top of therapy sessions respectively. Wolfgang and Pendora sign off of the show by getting into a trigger fight.

Credits: Adam Ray (Wolfgang), Michelle Ortiz (Pendora), Amir K (Carlos), Lyric Lewis (Jahari), Chelsea Davison (Melissa McCarthy)

Shark Tank "Furry Friend"
Hobble and Wynn return to to the tank in fake beards to "revolutionize the friend industry". One day, when Wynn was feeling lonely, he found his invention, a Furry, which is just a dog. They are kicked out of the tank again.

Credits: Adam Ray (Mark Cuban), Carlie Craig (Barbara Corcoran), Piotr Michael (Kevin O'Leary), Chelsea Davison (Lori Greiner), Amir K (Robert Herjavec), Ike Barinholtz (Alan "Fobble" Hobble), Bobby Lee (Frank Wynn)

Miss Mullens Bullying Problem
Miss Mullens (Chelsea Davidson) is an elementary school teacher with some unorthodox methods. After reading to her class, she opens up a "Let's do better" box to "see what we can do better". One note says "I'm tired of being bullied, and I'm to afraid to do anything about it". She decides to handle the issue, despite Ms. Brook's (Carlie Craig), a representative for the schools objections to handling the issue so openly. Mullens openly brings up the problems all of the kids face, like how when a girl, Quinn got laughed at for getting a math problem wrong despite the fact that she is mentally challenge. She tells the class to be kind to Quinn because "someday, she might be ripping your ticket at a movie theatre". She also brings up Danny, who was mocked for having trouble getting out of a car because he is overweight on account of having a lot of what's inside and Shawn, who was mocked for not being good at sports due to the fact that he is gay. When she asks Shawn, by who she refers to as "Gay Shawn" to come up and sing for the class, Shawn runs out crying, causing Brook to break and tell Mullens that she is "rude, insensitive, and just plain mean. You have serious issues lady. You are nuts". As she says this, the principle Davis (Amir K) comes in and fires her for "bullying" Mullens.

Credits: Carlie Craig (Ms. Brook), Chelsea Davison (Mullens), Amir K (Principle Davis)

MADtv Classic: Stuart at the Pet Shop
#516

Credits: Michael McDonald (Stuart Larkin), Mo Collins (Doreen Larkin), Alex Borstein (Pet Shop Owner)

Shark Tank #3
Hobble and Wynn return to the tank again in another ridiculous disguise. They then pitch a show "where aspiring inventors come in and they present their ideas to captains of the industry who decide based on their pitch whether or not to invest in their product". The Sharks are livid as that is just the plot of the show. As the Sharks call security, Hobble and Wynn tell them that they are going to teleport out of the tank, to which the Sharks mock, only to find that they actually do teleport out of the tank, shocking the Shark.

Credits: Ike Barinholtz (Alan Hobble), Bobby Lee (Frank Wynn), Adam Ray (Mark Cuban), Carlie Craig (Barbara Corcoran), Piotr Michael (Kevin O'Leary), Chelsea Davison (Lori Greiner), Amir K (Robert Herjavec)

Close: Ike, Bobby and Cast
Barinholtz decides to give Bike away to the cast, as he and Lee leave to go to Macau.

Credits: Piotr Michael (Himself), Michelle Ortiz (Herself), Jeremy D. Howard (Himself), Carlie Craig (Herself), Bobby Lee (Himself), Lyric Lewis (Herself), Chelsea Davison (Herself), Ike Barinholtz (Himself), Amir K (Himself), Adam Ray (Himself)

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Starring:
  • Carlie Craig (5A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Chelsea Davison (5A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Jeremy D. Howard (5A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Amir K (7A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Lyric Lewis (3A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Piotr Michael (6A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Michelle Ortiz (3A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Adam Ray (7A/2S/0W/0AF)

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Guest Starring:
  • Ike Barinholtz (0A/6S/0W/0AF)
  • Bobby Lee (0A/7S/0W/0AF)

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Special Appearances
  • Michael McDonald (0A/0S/0W/1AF)
  • Mo Collins (0A/0S/0W/1AF)
  • Alex Borstein (0A/0S/0W/1AF)

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Legend:
  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchive (F)ootage
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Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 10/05/2016 at 5:04 AM. Reason: A Little Bit of Cleaning Up
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