Mo
Paul
Patricia Heaton
Wanda Sykes
Simon Cowell
(Setting: On the Red Carpet)
Mo: You know, I’m a wife and mother, too.
Patricia: Yeah, did you read my book?
Mo: You have a book out?
Patricia: Yeah…
Mo: As a wife and mother, I don’t have time to read your book.
Patricia: (laughs) It’s a bathroom book. You can sit on the john for a few minutes and get through a chapter.
Mo: I’m in and out of there in 5 seconds as it is.—
Mo: (speaking to Wanda Sykes) Hey, you gonna miss the lap dance?
Wanda: I’m gonna go to Canada, get all my lap dances.
Paul: I’ll give you a lap dance now. (rubs against Wanda)
Wanda: ‘Cause they lap dance totally naked.
Mo: Yeah, they get a big moose to come and land on you.
Wanda: I don’t have a lap for you to dance on me.
Paul: I got enough lap for all of us!
(Credits roll and music plays)
Wanda: I’m would have to import some lap. –
Mo: (interviewing Simon Cowell) Are you up for something? What are you up for?
Simon: Something. I don’t know what.
Mo: What, do you care?
Simon: Honestly, I couldn’t care less.
Mo: Really?
Simon: No.
Mo: You son of a bitch. We’d give anything to be in there.
Simon: Would you?
Mo: Just about.
Simon: Come on in.
Mo: I’m getting- I’m getting in. (hands over microphone to Paul)
Paul: Oh, bye. Bye. See you later, Simon.
(Mo walks away with Simon)
(Rest of the end credits roll)