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Old 08/21/2005, 2:32 AM
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newt007 Male newt007 is offline
Hawt bytch
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rensselaer, NY
Posts: 2,066
Default Monologue: Orlando Jones (#103)

Orlando- himself

(Setting: On the main stage.)
Orlando: Howdy, folks.

Audience: Howdy, Orlando Jones!

Orlando: Let's chat, shall we? Something's been on my mind for years. Racism vs. Spam. (Puts a sign that says “Racism” and a can of Spam on the desk) There are many similarities between these two. Both are curious amalgams of debatable ingredients. Both spread easily. Both can be sliced, diced, or shaped to fit any social situation. Both have the letters a, m, s-- When arranged proper*ly, spells mas, which in Spanish means “more”, which is something you never hear folks yelling for racism or spam. Both are very popular in the south. "Hang ten" may be a surfing term out here in California, but where I’m from, It's an ambitious Saturday night. Both go well with white bread, although a cracker is a nice change of pace. And both are lousy names for dogs. "Racism! Come here, boy!" "Bad spam! Bad spam! Sit!" See? In fact, there's only one difference between these two. Racism... isn't delicious. (Grabs a spoon from his pocket and starts to eat some Spam from the can) Mmm! Mmm! Damn, that's good.

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