Aw, have you been missing your "Rapid-Fire Apperances"? Well, rest assured that "RFA" has been missing you too. Its life as a recurring Front Page News thread would be so empty if you, dear "MADtv" fan, were not a major part of it. Now that we have blown this rather bizarre personification completely out of proportion, let us now find out where some of your favorite (and not-so-favorite) "MADtv" cast members will pop up next in the magical world of film and television.

We will commence this edition with some Phil LaMarr movie news. Frankly, your chances to catch Quid Pro Quo at your local theater may prove to be slimmer than Mischa Barton; still, the independent film merits mention, if only for its bizarre premise, as stated in this review:

"An exceedingly odd meeting of the minds (and bodies) occurs in Quid Pro Quo, a strikingly original and provocative first feature from scribe-helmer Carlos Brooks. Touching on one of New York's weirder subcultures -- perfectly mobile, able-bodied people with paralysis envy -- this very funny two-hander has the wit to treat potentially offensive material with an offhand drollery that is immediately disarming, even as it builds a disturbing level of intimacy between its excellent leads, Nick Stahl and Vera Farmiga."

How Phil's supporting character, Barry, factors into the whole, crazy scheme is something you will have to figure out when and if you get a chance to see the film, which has already premiered at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival. Keep an eye and two able yet wheelchair-envious legs out for it.

Do you remember Andrew Daly? Will Ferrell does. In addition to Andrew's starring role in HBO's "East Bound and Down" TV series, he is now brushing shoulders with the "SNL" alum in the upcoming comedy film Semi-Pro, scheduled for a Friday, February 29th, release date. The film's plot involves the dissolution of the American Basketball Association (ABA), a real league which eventually merged with the NBA. The fictional ABA team managed by Ferrell's character attempts one last shot at glory, hoping to become one of only four ABA teams that the NBA chooses to bring into its fold. Andrew plays Dick Pepperfield, who, according to the promotional photos found here and here, is a reporter and sports show host of some kind. At any rate, go here if you want to read more about the film. Here, here!

How much personal pride must one sacrifice to be a supporting actor in a Paris Hilton movie? Ask Kathryn Fiore, who has nabbed that glorious honor in an early Oscar favorite for 2008 entitled The Hottie and the Nottie. This work of Thespian wonder centers around Paris's character -- ah, oxymorons! -- and an old flame, Nate (Joel Moore), whom she will agree to date again only if her ugly best friend, June (Christine Lakin), can be hooked up with someone too. For the benefit of anyone who has not already moved on to the next paragraph, Kathryn plays Jane, the angry ex-girlfriend of the aforementioned old flame. This lovely review is probably just the first glowing example of the praise-filled press which is such to follow as Hottie retches its way to theaters on Thursday, February 21st. Missing it would be so not hot -- not!

Now that we have ably summarized "MADtv" cast members' latest forays into motion picture immortality, we will now move on to some truly good news (for a welcome change) regarding a couple of noteworthy television series. Both Frank Caliendo's impressionfest, "Frank TV," and Simon Helberg's geekfest, "The Big Bang Theory," have been picked up for the fall. We at Planet MADtv would sincerely like to congratulate these two "MADtv" alumni on their good fortune and wish them continued success. Many thanks go to blackwind for the 411 on this story.

Uh-oh, has the "Rapid-Fire Appearances" well run dry again? Never fear, dear readers; for before you know it, that well will be overflowing with the "water" of more news concerning "MADtv" cast members' movie and television appearances. For all of our sakes, I hope that water will not consist of only tears.

Because "MADtv" cast members are constantly making the showbiz rounds, we here at Planet MADtv sometimes get backlogged as we try to keep up with their various television and movie appearances. Thus, at a time like this, it becomes necessary to discuss them all in a manner that dispenses with most of the usual journalistic jargon and gets right to the point. Welcome, then, to another mirth-filled installment of "Rapid-Fire Appearances"!

We kick things off with an ABC double-header suitable for fans of both early "MADtv" and Harlequin romance novels. First, Bryan Callen makes a guest appearance on the ABC crime drama "Women's Murder Club." There appears to be no information on Bryan's character (Dino Palley), so one might safely assume that his role will be about as pertinent to the show as an extra's. Nevertheless, feel free to read here for more information on the episode "Blind Dates and Bleeding Hearts," which will air October 26th at 9:00pm EST on ABC.

After "Women's Murder Club," your fun-fraught Friday evening continues as the ubiquitous Orlando Jones reprises his role as George on the ABC comedy/drama "Men in Trees," starring the ever-stable Anne Heche. Here, you can read all about the Big O's episode, entitled "No Man Is an Iceland." (I wish that were a misprint; but no, sadly, that's the episode's actual title.) As for Orlando's role, if you have read this far, then you will want to know the following:

"Now that Lynn has left town, everyone in Elmo assumes that Marin and Jack will get back together. Mai's cousin, Lucy (Emy Coligado), an ice skating star, comes from China to visit. Mai wants her to stay, so George (Orlando Jones) offers to marry her -- much to Terri's (Mario Cantone) dismay."

If this plot sounds the least bit appealing to you (and why would it not, pray tell?), then check out Orlando's latest "Men in Trees" visit this Friday, October 26th, at 10:00pm EST on ABC. Bryan at 9:00, Orlando at 10:00, fashion tips on the local news at 11:00 -- set your TiVos now!

As many of you may know by now, Stephnie Weir has just wrapped up filming on The Other Side of the Tracks, a thriller scheduled for a 2008 release. What you may not know are all the juicy details regarding Stephnie's character. The press kit for the movie gives us more insight:

"Although Trackside Pizza has managed to stay open over the years, business has steadily fallen off and the bills piled up for sole proprietor Ann McGee [Weir] -- a spiritually-sensitive single mom and part-time tarot card reader. That, along with Ann's incapacitated brother, in an expensive long-term care facility, has forced her to sell half the business to David, a burned-out doctor with a neurotic yet friendly demeanor. As Ann and David prepare for the grand reopening of Trackside Pizza, Marcy -- Ann's twenty-something daughter -- struggles to accept her family's moral and financial burdens. Feeling frustrated with the way things are, Marcy finds refuge in a relationship with her uncle's nurse."

Granted, Stephnie's role takes a back seat to the main plot, which involves a guy's obsession with his dead girlfriend. However, can you possibly pass up the opportunity to watch Stephnie make pizza and tell fortunes? Give yourself a thousand points if you answered in the affirmative.

Dannah Feinglass just cannot sit still these days. In addition to her current voiceover work in children's animation, Dannah can now add the comedy Why Am I Doing This? to her entertainment resume. Slated for a 2008 release, the film centers around two best friends -- one Asian, one black -- who are trying to find success in Hollywood. All we know so far about Dannah's supporting role is that her character is named Holly. In fact, there does not even appear to be a press kit or anything else that would tell us anything about the film other than what is stated above. Stay tuned for further updates -- that is, if any surface.

Finally, geeks everywhere may toss their periodic tables into the air in glorious celebration; for according to the Futon Critic, CBS's "The Big Bang Theory" has been given a full-season pickup. In other words, Simon Helberg fans the world over will have plenty of chances to see their man in action right through mid-2008. Wolowitz action figures are sure to flood toy stores in weeks to come.

Regrettably, we must end there for now. Fret not, though, fans; for as "MADtv" cast members continue to ascend fame's wobbly ladder, "Rapid-Fire Appearances" will be there to keep you up to date with their latest television and movie appearances. Until next time, remember not to walk under wobbly ladders.

Because things tend to pile up with so many MADtv cast members making their rounds in showbiz (50 and counting), I've decided to kick off what will likely become a regular feature here at the site: "Rapid-Fire Appearances". In short, these articles will dispense with (most of) the usual journalistic fluff and cut straight to the chase on the latest cast appearances set to grace your television/movie screen in the near-future. Got it? Then let's begin!

First off, Artie Lange announced on Conan O'Brien a few weeks back that he will once again be appearing on Rescue Me this season. The usual first-stops for guest star listings -- IMDb, TV.com, et al -- were less than helpful at the time (and still are, in fact), but we've just learned that Artie's first appearance aired on July 25th. He, apparently, has a recurring role, so those who are interested will want to check out tomorrow night's episode. Rescue Me airs at 10:00pm EST Wednesday nights on FX.

Coming to ABC Family this August is Slacker Cats -- a new animated series featuring everyone's favorite long-departed cast members, Nicole Sullivan and Alex Borstein! For the benefit of those who didn't immediately skip ahead to the next item after seeing "ABC Family", here's the overly-detailed synopsis:

"Slacker Cats" follows two buddy cats, Buckley and Eddie, who slack their way through various unimpressive adventures. The half-hour, prime-time animated comedy series features the voices of Harland Williams, Sinbad, Kiersten Warren, Nicole Sullivan, Niecy Nash, Alex Borstein and legendary cult stand-up Emo Philips.

Does the show's prime-time slot indicate that we're in for something potentially appealing to those over the age of six? Tune in next month to find out!

Anyone remember Simon Helberg? Me neither. Nonetheless, this former MADtv featured player has landed himself a gig on the new CBS show, The Big Bang Theory, which features a premise I can only assume was lifted directly from my life:

THE BIG BANG THEORY is a comedy from the Emmy Award nominated Co-Creator and Executive Producer of "Two and a Half Men" Chuck Lorre, about brainy best friends Leonard (Johnny Galecki, "Roseanne") and Sheldon (Jim Parsons "Judging Amy"), who can tell you anything you want to know about quantum physics, but when it comes to dealing with everyday life here on earth they're lost in the cosmos. Neither fully understands that scientific principles don't always apply in matters of the heart - until they meet their sexy new neighbor Penny (Kaley Cuoco, "8 Simple Rules..."), a friendly screenwriter/waitress from the midwest who also happens to be newly single. She quickly makes an impression on the other members of Leonard and Sheldon's geek squad - Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"), who portrays himself as the Casanova of Cal Tech, and fellow whiz kid Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar, "NCIS"), who is rendered speechless around anyone unprepared to converse about the Theory of Relativity or other scientific jargon. The chemistry between this gaggle of geniuses and a delightful damsel is about to undergo a stimulating series of inter-personal experiments.

The Big Bang Theory, eh? Oh, CBS -- what a wicked web of punnery you weave! Monday nights starting September 24th. 8:30pm EST. CBS. Be there. [Or not.]

Frank Caliendo fans will be pleased to learn that his new show, "The Frank Show" (one of the more imaginative titles to ever come out of Hollywood), is set to premiere on TBS "this fall". November 20th is the tentative premiere date, but this is subject to change between now and then. To whet your appetite, a number of preview clips have been made available for streaming on TBS.com. Why not check them out? Frank would do it for you if *you* were on TV!

Finally, in Phil LaMarr and David Herman news, details on the return of Futurama have finally surfaced! According to TV Squad:

Futurama is back, and now we know in what form. The show will return on November 27th as a full-length high-def film sold on DVD. It will be followed by three additional films, and each film will be divided into four episodes each to be aired on Comedy Central. So, that's 4 DVD movies or 16 new episodes depending on how you look at it.

Exciting news indeed for Futurama fans and nerds in general! I can almost count the number of days before the inevitable leak!

Special thanks go out to mizzimad for the Slacker Cats and Big Bang Theory leads. Join us again next time for another episode of Rapid-Fire Appearances!

Since there are so many minor appearances in movies and television shows coming up, I thought I would compile them all into a single thread for February.

Michael McDonald will appear on the February 12 episode of "Desperate Housewives", entitled "Silly People." Desperate Housewives airs 9/8C, Sunday nights on ABC.

Mary Scheer will appear in an upcoming episode of the new FOX sitcom "Free Ride". The show premieres on March 1st, after American Idol and Mary is scheduled to appear in the third episode of the season, playing "Louise" in the episode titled "Up Your Auntie." Rumor has it that Mary will also be appearing in Aaron Sorkins new NBC Comedy, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". Thanks to Knickers for the heads up regarding Free Ride.

Simon Helberg has made his mark on The Sundance Film Festival. "The Pity Card", in which he stars, premiered last week at Sundance. Originally intended to be an HBO series, writer/director Bob Odenkirk entered his idea as a film to Sundance after the network ditched the plan. An outline from Forward.com:

The film revolves around an unusual first date between a 20-something Jew, played by Simon Helberg, and a historically challenged shiksa goddess (Ange Billman). When the two visit the Holocaust Museum, she emerges devastated because she had never heard of the Holocaust. Her outrage that such a thing could happen makes her want to tell the world. Her bleats of sympathy for her companion do not help matters; he is already mortified at her ignorance.

Lisa Kushell will make an appearance on VH1's "100 Greatest Teen Stars" which starts tonight at 9 and continues all week. Thanks to Cartman2002 for the update.

Keegan-Michael Key will appear in the upcoming film "Alleyball" which is set for release later this year. Not much is known about this movie at present, but Keegan has second billing and one of his co-stars is Larry Joe Campbell, which links this production with the Second City.

Be sure to return to this thread in the future for more information regarding these appearances.

There are quite a few new and exciting developments that have surfaced lately, but unfortunately, there isn't much information regarding them.

Former castmember Ron Pederson has landed a gig on CBS' "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson", where he will be featured in various comedy sketches. The show airs Monday through Friday at 12:35 am.

Paul Vogt will be appearing in a production of "Hairspray" at the Luxor Las Vegas, debuting in Febuary.

Frank Caliendo once again needs your vote! Frank is a contender in Comedy Central's "Stand Up Showdown", where fans decide the pecking order of Comedy Central's top 25 stand up comedians. If I recall correctly, Frank was ranked in the top 5 last year. You can vote for Frank to be #1 here or text "CALIENDO" to 91757 to cast your vote via text messaging.

Bobby Lee will be making an appearance in a new film by Chris Chan Lee. From IMDb:

A crime drama set in LA's Koreatown, UNDOING introduces us to Samuel, who returns after a mysterious absence to reconcile the death of his best friend exactly one year ago.

Bobby's character is named Kenny, and you can view the offcial site here.

And finally, Simon Helberg has two upcoming film appearances, the first is in "The TV Set", which is the story of a TV pilot as it is being made, and "For Your Consideration" the latest comedy by Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy, in the tradition of "Waiting For Guffman" and "Best In Show". Christopher Guest comedies are in my opinion some of the best movies ever made, and easily my favorite comedies of all time. Will Sasso has had brief appearances in the last two, and while he hasn't been credited in the latest, Simon's appearance should be interesting nonetheless.

2005 was a great year for former and current MADtv castmembers, with almost half the show cast (past and present) getting their "big (post MADtv) break." Hopefully the success of some of Hollywoods most gifted actors and comedians will continue in the new year.

Simon Helberg is the latest in a long list of ex-MADtv castmembers to star in comedy pilots for the 2005 season. Simon will co-star with "Married to the Kellys" Derek Waters, while "Mr. Show with Bob and David" star Bob Odenkirk will executive produce.

The show revolves around two average guys (Simon and Derek) trying to hook up with women in and around the Los Angeles area. The pilot is set for filming sometime this month.

Here's a mini update to keep you informed with the upcoming appearances of a few castmembers.

Bryan Callen will be appearing in The Still Life as "Art Dealer #1". The release date is set for the 1st of July 2005. Keep checking back for updates at IMDB, as there is not much information currently circulating about this project.

Simon Helberg will appear in Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas as "Al". Here's the plot outline from IMDB:

When his journal of bright ideas is stolen, college freshman Bickford Schmeckler (Patrick Fugit) has to blanket the campus in order to locate it.

Phil Lamarr will make a rare physical appearance in a movie, rather than appearing in voice only. He will play a news anchor in Sky High, a family action / comedy about a young superhero named Will Stronghold who is trying to find a balance between being a normal teenager and an extraordinary being in a world where superheroes are common. This movie is set for release in the United States on the 29th of July 2005.

And finally, Artie Lange has 2 movie appearances coming up. The first is Catch and Release, a drama romance about a woman who "struggles to accept the death of her husband and the secrets he kept from her as she rebuilds her life". This movie stars Jennifer Garner of Alias fame. Artie will be playing "Bill" and is the only actor (other than Ms. Garner) currently known to be in this movie.

Artie will also be appearing in Waltzing Anna, a comedy set for release this year. No other information is currently known about this movie.

According to joeytv.net, Simon Helberg will play the role of "Seth" - Michael's (Paulo Costanzo) friend from college. Here's the spoiler:

Episode 3 - "Joey And The Party"

Joey realizes it is much harder to make friends in the new town, so Gina suggests that Joey and Michael throw a party together and invite everyone who lives in their building, so they can meet a lot of new people. Michael, thinking he wouldn’t actually show up, invited his friend from college, Seth (Simon Helberg), whom he was very competitive with. When Seth mentions that he has a date, Michael desperately tries to find someone to be his girlfriend so Seth won’t be one up on him. Joey tries to make a good impression on another tenant in the building, Jake, because Joey thinks he is the only one in the building he could possibly be friends with. At the party, Gina and Joey battle over the attention of Jake, while Alex pretends to be Michael’s girlfriend to show up Seth. Howard, another tenant in Joey’s building, is new to the area too and knows a lot of Dr. Ramoray and Days Of Our Lives.

This show airs September 23rd at 8:00pm EST on NBC. Be sure to watch!