Aw, have you been missing your "Rapid-Fire Apperances"? Well, rest assured that "RFA" has been missing you too. Its life as a recurring Front Page News thread would be so empty if you, dear "MADtv" fan, were not a major part of it. Now that we have blown this rather bizarre personification completely out of proportion, let us now find out where some of your favorite (and not-so-favorite) "MADtv" cast members will pop up next in the magical world of film and television.

We will commence this edition with some Phil LaMarr movie news. Frankly, your chances to catch Quid Pro Quo at your local theater may prove to be slimmer than Mischa Barton; still, the independent film merits mention, if only for its bizarre premise, as stated in this review:

"An exceedingly odd meeting of the minds (and bodies) occurs in Quid Pro Quo, a strikingly original and provocative first feature from scribe-helmer Carlos Brooks. Touching on one of New York's weirder subcultures -- perfectly mobile, able-bodied people with paralysis envy -- this very funny two-hander has the wit to treat potentially offensive material with an offhand drollery that is immediately disarming, even as it builds a disturbing level of intimacy between its excellent leads, Nick Stahl and Vera Farmiga."

How Phil's supporting character, Barry, factors into the whole, crazy scheme is something you will have to figure out when and if you get a chance to see the film, which has already premiered at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival. Keep an eye and two able yet wheelchair-envious legs out for it.

Do you remember Andrew Daly? Will Ferrell does. In addition to Andrew's starring role in HBO's "East Bound and Down" TV series, he is now brushing shoulders with the "SNL" alum in the upcoming comedy film Semi-Pro, scheduled for a Friday, February 29th, release date. The film's plot involves the dissolution of the American Basketball Association (ABA), a real league which eventually merged with the NBA. The fictional ABA team managed by Ferrell's character attempts one last shot at glory, hoping to become one of only four ABA teams that the NBA chooses to bring into its fold. Andrew plays Dick Pepperfield, who, according to the promotional photos found here and here, is a reporter and sports show host of some kind. At any rate, go here if you want to read more about the film. Here, here!

How much personal pride must one sacrifice to be a supporting actor in a Paris Hilton movie? Ask Kathryn Fiore, who has nabbed that glorious honor in an early Oscar favorite for 2008 entitled The Hottie and the Nottie. This work of Thespian wonder centers around Paris's character -- ah, oxymorons! -- and an old flame, Nate (Joel Moore), whom she will agree to date again only if her ugly best friend, June (Christine Lakin), can be hooked up with someone too. For the benefit of anyone who has not already moved on to the next paragraph, Kathryn plays Jane, the angry ex-girlfriend of the aforementioned old flame. This lovely review is probably just the first glowing example of the praise-filled press which is such to follow as Hottie retches its way to theaters on Thursday, February 21st. Missing it would be so not hot -- not!

Now that we have ably summarized "MADtv" cast members' latest forays into motion picture immortality, we will now move on to some truly good news (for a welcome change) regarding a couple of noteworthy television series. Both Frank Caliendo's impressionfest, "Frank TV," and Simon Helberg's geekfest, "The Big Bang Theory," have been picked up for the fall. We at Planet MADtv would sincerely like to congratulate these two "MADtv" alumni on their good fortune and wish them continued success. Many thanks go to blackwind for the 411 on this story.

Uh-oh, has the "Rapid-Fire Appearances" well run dry again? Never fear, dear readers; for before you know it, that well will be overflowing with the "water" of more news concerning "MADtv" cast members' movie and television appearances. For all of our sakes, I hope that water will not consist of only tears.

You begged. You waited. You sat through countless hours of baseball coverage and promotional ads, wondering if the night would ever arrive. Well, fear no more, Frank Caliendo fans; for his long-awaited sketch comedy series, "Frank TV," arrives tonight on TBS at 11:00pm EST. The former go-to impressionist on "MADtv" for five seasons will now have the opportunity to showcase his incredible talents for a larger viewing audience (or at least a presumably larger audience -- time will tell). In addition to his standard repertoire of "MADtv" impressions -- John Madden, George W. Bush, Jack Nicholson, and so forth -- Frank will haul out some of his less familiar impersonations, such as Dr. Phil, Sean Connery, and Charles Barkley. Check out this article if you would like additional information on what to expect from "Frank TV."

The bad news for Frank is that he will have only a handful of episodes to stake his claim on this TV season. Because of the writers' strike, TBS's original order of eight "Frank TV" episodes has been cut to about four or five. For his part, Frank is trying to see the positives in the situation while still expressing concern for the writers:

"'We're all trying to work it out and I'm trying to take it all in stride,' Caliendo says. 'The writers are right. They should be paid for their work, that's how this business works. I'm not that disappointed right now. Had we not gotten the premiere date of November 20th, I would have been very disappointed, but we were ahead of the game. We didn't try to stockpile shows or anything like that. We did the right amount of episodes in the time frame given. It's a very difficult show to put together because I'm in everything.

'The writers have a point. They want to work. It's not a situation where they're striking to not work. They just want to be treated fairly in the industry. The hard thing is that so many people behind the scenes -- the people who build the sets, the people who do the hair and makeup -- all need to get back to work. There's a lot of questions in Hollywood for people about what they should do ethically. It's scary. Different people have different ideas about what you should do.'"

For further reading on this and other juicy "Frank TV" tidbits, you are hereby directed to this article. At any rate, the lesson here is simple: get on the Caliendo cable-car express while you can! Chugga-chugga-choo-choo and all that sort of rot.

Special thanks go to blackwind for this story. Otherwise, I would have assumed that we already had a news thread about "Frank TV" when we in fact did not. Ruh-roh, Raggy.

The good news is that Frank Caliendo and Artie Lange will be performing at this year's Comedy Festival in Las Vegas, NV; the bad news is that there may not even be a Comedy Festival in 2008. Still, there is talk that HBO and AEG Live, the hosts of the annual event for the past three years, may pass the torch to TBS in the future rather than simply end the festival altogether. Although nothing is etched in stone so far, the network move would make sense since TBS is currently a big financial supporter of the Comedy Festival. Also, the opportunity to host the Comedy Festival would would work well in the cable network's overall plan to increase its live-comedy broadcasting. In fact, TBS plans to tape Frank Caliendo's performance from this year's Comedy Festival and later air it as a special. Therefore, those not lucky enough to scare up tickets for the festival, which will be held November 14th through November 17th at Caesar's Palace, can still catch Frank's performance on the tube at a later time. (Artie fans will not be as lucky, one presumes.) Other notables who are scheduled to appear during the four-day festival are Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Ellen DeGeneres, Wanda Sykes, Steve Schirripa, Bill Engvall, Jamie Kennedy and Nick Swardson. Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam, moderated by D.L. Hughley, will also appear. Catch Frank and Artie in Vegas while you still can!

UPDATE: According to the information found here, Frank will be performing in the Palace Showroom on Thursday, November 15th, at 12:30pm EST/9:30pm PST. Later that evening, at 2:59am EST/11:59pm PST, Artie will perform in the Augustus Showroom. Oh, and it turns out that Frank fans will not have to wait long after all to see his performance on TV. TBS's schedule indicates that "Frank Caliendo: All over the Place" will air on Friday, November 16th, at 10:00pm EST. Finally, for those who want to delve further into the possible hosting shift for the event, check out this article. (After all, why should the news editor have all the fun?)

Because things tend to pile up with so many MADtv cast members making their rounds in showbiz (50 and counting), I've decided to kick off what will likely become a regular feature here at the site: "Rapid-Fire Appearances". In short, these articles will dispense with (most of) the usual journalistic fluff and cut straight to the chase on the latest cast appearances set to grace your television/movie screen in the near-future. Got it? Then let's begin!

First off, Artie Lange announced on Conan O'Brien a few weeks back that he will once again be appearing on Rescue Me this season. The usual first-stops for guest star listings -- IMDb, TV.com, et al -- were less than helpful at the time (and still are, in fact), but we've just learned that Artie's first appearance aired on July 25th. He, apparently, has a recurring role, so those who are interested will want to check out tomorrow night's episode. Rescue Me airs at 10:00pm EST Wednesday nights on FX.

Coming to ABC Family this August is Slacker Cats -- a new animated series featuring everyone's favorite long-departed cast members, Nicole Sullivan and Alex Borstein! For the benefit of those who didn't immediately skip ahead to the next item after seeing "ABC Family", here's the overly-detailed synopsis:

"Slacker Cats" follows two buddy cats, Buckley and Eddie, who slack their way through various unimpressive adventures. The half-hour, prime-time animated comedy series features the voices of Harland Williams, Sinbad, Kiersten Warren, Nicole Sullivan, Niecy Nash, Alex Borstein and legendary cult stand-up Emo Philips.

Does the show's prime-time slot indicate that we're in for something potentially appealing to those over the age of six? Tune in next month to find out!

Anyone remember Simon Helberg? Me neither. Nonetheless, this former MADtv featured player has landed himself a gig on the new CBS show, The Big Bang Theory, which features a premise I can only assume was lifted directly from my life:

THE BIG BANG THEORY is a comedy from the Emmy Award nominated Co-Creator and Executive Producer of "Two and a Half Men" Chuck Lorre, about brainy best friends Leonard (Johnny Galecki, "Roseanne") and Sheldon (Jim Parsons "Judging Amy"), who can tell you anything you want to know about quantum physics, but when it comes to dealing with everyday life here on earth they're lost in the cosmos. Neither fully understands that scientific principles don't always apply in matters of the heart - until they meet their sexy new neighbor Penny (Kaley Cuoco, "8 Simple Rules..."), a friendly screenwriter/waitress from the midwest who also happens to be newly single. She quickly makes an impression on the other members of Leonard and Sheldon's geek squad - Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"), who portrays himself as the Casanova of Cal Tech, and fellow whiz kid Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar, "NCIS"), who is rendered speechless around anyone unprepared to converse about the Theory of Relativity or other scientific jargon. The chemistry between this gaggle of geniuses and a delightful damsel is about to undergo a stimulating series of inter-personal experiments.

The Big Bang Theory, eh? Oh, CBS -- what a wicked web of punnery you weave! Monday nights starting September 24th. 8:30pm EST. CBS. Be there. [Or not.]

Frank Caliendo fans will be pleased to learn that his new show, "The Frank Show" (one of the more imaginative titles to ever come out of Hollywood), is set to premiere on TBS "this fall". November 20th is the tentative premiere date, but this is subject to change between now and then. To whet your appetite, a number of preview clips have been made available for streaming on TBS.com. Why not check them out? Frank would do it for you if *you* were on TV!

Finally, in Phil LaMarr and David Herman news, details on the return of Futurama have finally surfaced! According to TV Squad:

Futurama is back, and now we know in what form. The show will return on November 27th as a full-length high-def film sold on DVD. It will be followed by three additional films, and each film will be divided into four episodes each to be aired on Comedy Central. So, that's 4 DVD movies or 16 new episodes depending on how you look at it.

Exciting news indeed for Futurama fans and nerds in general! I can almost count the number of days before the inevitable leak!

Special thanks go out to mizzimad for the Slacker Cats and Big Bang Theory leads. Join us again next time for another episode of Rapid-Fire Appearances!

Even though he only departed MADtv a few months ago, Frank Caliendo is already preparing his own pilot, focusing on his impressions, for the TBS network.

From thefutoncritic.com:

For his as-yet-untitled project, Frank Caliendo (MadTV, Hype) has developed a sketch comedy show to be shot in front of a studio audience. It will feature his renowned impersonations, from Dr. Phil to Presidents Bush and Clinton. This project is being produced for TBS by New Wave Entertainment and is executive-produced and written by Caliendo, Matt Wickline and John Bowman, with Barry Katz also serving as executive producer.

I always felt that Frank was misused during his time on the show, and I guess he felt the same way. Sounds like his Bush impression will be a big factor in the show either way.

After hearing Frank Caliendo's comments about the show recieving a revamp this season, I decided to try and find out what this meant for myself. Here's what I got from an undoubtedly reliable source:

1. There will be no new castmembers. This season, MADtv is sticking with a smaller group of 10 so that everyone gets fair air time, and nobody gets "forgotten" like Frank and Daniele did last year. This doesn't mean there won't be any new featured players joining the show later in the season, but for now, there are none.
2. Speaking of Frank and Daniele, they are the only castmembers leaving (apart from Stephnie). Frank Caeti and Nicole Randall Johnson have been promoted, and Arden is retaining her position as a regular. That gives us a cast consisting of Ike Barinholtz, Frank Caeti, Crista Flanagan, Keegan-Michael Key, Bobby Lee, Michael McDonald, Arden Myrin, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele and Nicole Randall Johnson.
3. As with last year, there is going to be more of a push for shorter sketches, and therefore more sketches per show. In addition, there will be more location shooting, which was noticeable last season and provided some variety. I just hope it doesn't mean an "adventure" sketch every episode.
4. Shooting starts tomorrow, August 21st.

I should be able to get the #1201 episode description from FOX in a week or two. Until then, this is all I got.

Thanks to my super-secret source for the information.

Season 12 is just around the corner, and as always, cast changes will be announced.

Frank Caliendo announced his eventual departure several times, so naturally, after 5 years on the show, he will not be returning for season 12.

Also, in a not-so-surprising turn of events, it appears season 11 was the last we will see of Daniele Gaither, as she has been let go by the show's producers.

So far, these are the only departing castmembers we are aware of. Other departures are said to be possible, but not likely, according to our source.

More updates, including new castmembers, will be announced when the information becomes available. Best of luck to Frank and Daniele in their future endevours!

Following his successful appearance on "Letterman" last week, Frank Caliendo is now scheduled to appear "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" which airs directly after "Letterman" on CBS at 12:35AM.

From the man himself:

i'll probably do some of the Bush stuff.... Madden... maybe Goldblum, etc... never been on the show before... so it'll once again be a "best of" Frank Caliendo bits... simply because there's so many people watching that haven't seen me before...

According to the email I recieved from his mailing list, he is appearing on the Thursday 8th February episode, but the 8th is Wednesday (today for you Americans) and tomorrow is Thursday 9th. Since its such short notice, I doubt I'll be able to get confirmation from his webmaster regarding the correct date, so those of you who really want to see his appearance should probably watch both episodes.

ETA: Frank's webmaster sent another email and the appearance is on Thursday (2/9/06).